For people that struggle with HOCD/TOCD, do you get personally offended when you come across a homophobic/transphobic post on social media?

Keyword: personally... ofc homophobia and transphobia are terrible in general and any decent human being wouldn’t accept such. When I see a a transphobic tweet, I get personally offended, I get a thought like when will we be accepted??? And then I panic, it’s like I’ve accepted this is who I am

@Tiredxxx I feel like a lot people with ocd have this because thoughts get so convincing that at one point it's like you react accordingly. But that doesn't mean it's true or that you're what your thoughts tell you. It's almost as if somebody tells you to imagine that your pet died. At one point it gets so convincing you actually start to experience grief

You’re a good mother for trying to educate yourself about this condition in order to help your daughter. Some of our parents don’t even believe in mental health, so we’re stuck in this nightmare all by ourselves. Please get her all the necessary help she needs because this disorder can rip a person apart if left untreated.

@Tiredxxx Thank you- I pray for everyone’s recovery. It is truly not easy but I do have hope that everyone can recover- have you tried talking to your parents about what is going on with you? How old are you btw

@rachel1219 I am 25 and In university. My parents do everything for me. They know I struggle with anxiety but they don’t really take it seriously. They think I’m just doing it to myself and I don’t need to worry about anything because I have everything I need which is true. I didn’t even tell them the reason behind my anxiety because I’m pretty sure they won’t believe it or take it serious.

@Bryan The only thing is she has never had a boyfriend and she is super shy . She is only in 7th grade . We are of Indian descent and my husband would never let her date in the fear that she would become sexually active . Thank you Brian you are so super helpful

@Bryan Do you have a therapist that helped you ? And do they do tele health ?

@Bryan I will speak to my daughter and see what she says . She has been reporting that the last two days she doesn’t get much anxiety from the thoughts. That’s why I believe that the HOCD comes in waves. She goes back to school next week where she will see boys and girls and I know it’s going to be anxiety provoking for her

@Bryan She claims it’s just a “whirlpool” of thoughts and that she just wants her normal life back and doesn’t want to go through anymore changes- yesterday she started a new thing where she washes her face multiple times a day - it started a week ago - she said she has a urge to do that. Sigh

@Bryan Doing that now .

@Bryan YeaterdY my daughter said she looks at these celebrities online and finds them attractive and feels like she is “attracted “ to them which leads her to believe she is gay. Can this actually be true ?

@Bryan Bryan- my daughter came to me today and said that she is scared that the attraction to the opposite gender is going down and she is finding women attractive . She said she saw her crush ( a male) on a classroom zoom call and she was whatever about him And usually she is very shy when she sees him and then I said ok what kind of attraction towards women and she goes “intrusive thoughts “. She is like this has been on my mind for a very long time. Did you also have this ?

@Bryan What do you mean the upper end of the spectrum? How come she keeps looking at women though and telling me she thinks they are pretty and then right away she has an intrusive thoughts

@Bryan But she doesn’t know any better she says she says she finds them “attractive “ and thinks she is attracted to them

@Bryan So I do want to tell you a couple of things. Here is the backend story. Around mid October I went to pick her up from school and as she is getting out of the car she was in tears and I asked her what’s wrong she goes “you’ll get mad at me “ I said “no I won’t what’s up did you get a bad grade ?” She said “no... I don’t know if I like boys or girls “ so I asked her what happened she was crying she said “ my inkling to boys has gone down and I saw a TikTok video of two girls doing inappropriate things and I felt like watching it a few times and I felt like I liked it so I think I’m turning gay”. Then she says to me “I felt like I was looking at a girl in algebra class and I had a mini panic attack thinking I’m going to turn gay “. - and then it started and for months and months now we have been going back and forth . But she said in the beginning when this happened in October she said she went back to watch the video a few times and she got scared because she was shopping for clothes and she was in the lingerie section online and she felt like looking at the women in the lingerie page online and she got scared and told me she liked looking at it so she must be turning gay. Last year she had a friend who came out as a lesbian and that didn’t matter to her at that time and now after October she doesn’t want to see her too much . She saw her at a common birthday party and she felt like she was “looking at her “ and then she is. Like it made her uncomfortable . Then she says she has same sex dreams and gets stuck in them all day. She is like “I just don’t know who I am anymore “. She will randomly comment on women on tv being pretty . Basically now every women she comments on - and though she still looks at guys and comments I will ask her “ did you think he was cute” and she will say “I don’t know anymore “. She told me one day “i want these thoughts to go away “ and then another day she said once when she had a same sex dream with ariana grande she woke up in the morning with a weird feeling down there. And here we are now in Jan with back and forth on “am I gay or not “.

@Bryan So everything I described is normal for HOCD ? she is just in her own whirlpool thoughrs with sexual intrusive thoughts of women everyday... literally everyday. She has lost so much confidence in herself she is like “I feel like I don’t even look at men anymore”.

@Bryan Thank you. She goes back to school next week after 8 months. Let’s see what we face next week. Praying for your a smooth transition 🙏she said she wants me to give her “therapy” but doesn’t want to talk to her therapist. I will try my best

@Bryan Ordering it now. Thanks.

@Bryan I am Just fearful 😧 that she “comes out” and starts a homosexual relationship thinking she is gay but I guess she will know that is not who she is.

@Bryan I had never imagined in my life this illness would hit her like this - if she was not on TikTok would this illness still have hit her at some point or another ?

@Bryan You are right . Totally right.

@rachel1219 Even my husvand is like it’s a phase it will pass. I don’t know though if it passes it’s so hard . I never seen anything like this.

@Bryan Thanks- I do try to keep her spirits up. This Covid has ruined everything too. It’s been one year since the kids have been home and they have lost their minds. It’s so hard on everyone.

@Bryan I think once she goes out and gets exposed to everyone she will feel better - the weather sucks too. Living In the northeast sucks honestly. It’s cold like 8 months of the year.

@Bryan What can I do to keep her mind off of these things ??

@Bryan It just boggles my mind how you can be so sure of your sexuality - 100 percent hetero to completely thinking your gay. Honestly I had no idea this disease can do this to you

@Bryan She does everything to keep herself busy .

@rachel1219 Still the thoughts come

I don’t really struggle with HOCD as I’m already a lesbian. However, there was a time where I thought I was straight and that gave me anxiety. I also struggle with bestiality ocd from time to time. However, I’ve never felt compelled to experiment or act out any of my obsessions. But it’s normal for people to feel that way. Each persons experience is different. Some people have this intense urge to act out their obsessions in order to “figure it all out” and that’s very normal.

I’ve crushed on women ever since I was a kid. However, because I was raised In a very conservative society, I didn’t know or understand what I was feeling until few years ago. I came to terms with my sexuality and it felt natural, not forced! I also did not obsess over it and it definitely did not give me anxiety or nightmares. It didn’t take me any effort to accept myself. I have never crushed on men or found any guy attractive. The thought of having such relationships with men repulses me.

@Tiredxxx Got it . Yes she thinks about it all day . The sad thing is that she said she always envisioned herself grown up and with a man and married, now whenever she thinks of her wedding day she says she sees another woman next to her and it gives her anxiety because her “brain tells her” that a husband is no good. Please don’t get me wrong - I respect all sexualities but I just want rhis ocd gone from my baby girl.

@Bryan Yes rhis is exactly what is happening - yesterday she went to tutoring class and there was an older girl there with a crop top on and you could see her belly and my daughter was having so much anxiety looking at her

@rachel1219 Oh that’s totally fine! No offence taken, I understand this disorder as I struggle with it myself. I hope she gets better!

@Tiredxxx Ya I don’t understand how your brain can tell you to be one sexuality. You are either straight or not.

@rachel1219 It’s tricky. If I didn’t have ocd, I wouldn’t understand it as well.

@Tiredxxx Thank you so much for all your guidance . I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel