- Date posted
- 7y
- Date posted
- 7y
First, take a deep breath. You’re not crazy and you do not need to be locked away. I’ve had OCD my entire life. Thoughts of harm, intrusive sexual thoughts, you name it...I’ve thought it. Keep taking your medication as prescribed. Go to your counselor. Post here to people that understand. You will make it through even if it feels unbearable. I’ve been married 11 years and my ocd now has attached itself to my spouse-is he a bad person, will he cheat, will he harm me. It takes its toll on relationships. I’m learning to not go to him when I’m anxious, but come here. Work through the uncertainty myself. Nothing in life is guaranteed and certain. It’s a process and you can do it!!!
- Date posted
- 7y
Do you see therapy for ocd?
- Date posted
- 7y
I went to a therapist once and he told me it’s just anxiety and not ocd bc most my compulsions are inner not outer. I didn’t even get to tell him all about what was going on because I felt like he didn’t believe me. I felt very discouraged after. But I went back to my primary for a referral and I’m supposed to see someone in two weeks. I’m fairly certain I have ocd but even sometimes i think it’s not ocd I’m just a horrible person. I’ve never hurt anyone but I’m afraid I have some secret part of me that wants to or will. It scares the crap out of me. I don’t feel like myself. The only emotion I feel anymore is sadness or crying. I just don’t understand. I can do normal things like go to work or drive but I’m always always thinking(or I guess ruminating on why I think or feel the way I do.) my mom is so concerned I think she partially blames herself. Because she has anxiety too. I feel awful all the time. I really don’t know how I can recover. I wish this never happened to me. I feel like I’m out of control or my mind and body. I thought I had things together in my life but this anxiety/ocd has taken control. Even typing all this makes me feel bad because I don’t want to be someone who whines about how hard things are. I have a beautiful big family(never been married or had kids) tons of things to feel grateful for but my mind won’t let me. It tells me I’m a horrible person. I feel like I’ll never have a family of my own Bc I can’t handle the stress of myself let alone of a family. I feel so alone.
- Date posted
- 7y
I do too. I’m so disappointed in myself for not being able to control this
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve been through a lot of trauma the past few months and years and had an anxiety breakthrough where I can’t stop having panic and anxiety attacks. I used to be a horror movie addict and one night during an anxiety attack my brain went “Kill your sister” My sister is my whole world. It all went downhill from there. I can’t even be around her when were home alone anymore. Every single day since then my brain is trying to tell me a bunch of different ways to harm her. Its getting to a point where its involving others now. “Kill your sister.” “What if you finally go back to your boyfriends house and kill his family?” “What if you kill mom?” “Kill that lady walking down the aisle at work.” “What if you killed yourself?” “You’re a bad person for thinking all of this.” “You shouldn’t be allowed to sleep, eat or relax. Bad people don’t get to do those things.” “These thoughts are in your head 24/7 because you WANT to do these things!” Its causing me so much anxiety and racing thoughts and I don’t want to become anymore depressed. SSRIs dont work. My doctor wants me to go on antipsychotics but I’m afraid to and I feel like I don’t actually need them and it will cause more damage. My goal is to become the person I was before all of this. Not to change completely. I tried buspirone once and I stopped due to increased health anxiety and often found myself saying “remember when you wanted to kill your sister?” and then brushing it off. It helped in some sort of way. I was only on it for a week. My whole life has changed since then. I dont go to my boyfriends house anymore, I dont see my friends, I can’t play video games anymore. All I do is ruminate and I cant stop. I cant even hold a conversation anymore. The compulsions are horrible. I’m so scared that theres no coming back from this. Its all adding to the anxiety that I don’t want to become severe depression. I just want to be me again. I’m starting off ERP and if it doesn’t work I dont know what to do. Can someone please tell me they have been through similar and have gotten better. I just need to save my life. Its getting to a point where this is convincing me this is all real and its going to happen and that im gonna become a psychopath. Its been going on for 3 months. I used to be so bubbly and happy!! (I am not schizoaffective)
- Date posted
- 20w
i am convinced im a psycho killer. everytime im around my mom or sister i get these intense thoughts of stabbing or hurting them. when they’re not around its not as intense but its still there. its literally on my mind 24/7. im so tense 24/7. were currently looking for a puppy for the family and when me and my sister were playing with them today the thought was still there. nothing distracts me from it. video games and EVERYTHING else doesn’t work. im starting to feel like i WANT to do these things. i was never like this until i had a marijuana induced panic attack in january. i feel like something happened to my brain and its not just ocd anymore. i dont even know if im faking it. i have suffered from relationship ocd, pedophile ocd, and health ocd. i got over those relatively quickly. this new theme came out of nowhere after a panic attack on a plane coming home from a horror convention in february. i dont see a way out of this one. its been months. i try to let them sit and i get a panic attack. all i do everyday is cry. i feel like my life is over. i talk to a therapist and i have tried two medications that didnf work work. i dont know how to live like this. im afraid im gonna lose my relationship and im afraid im gonna lose my whole life ahead of me. im just 22. i just want the old me back.
- Date posted
- 18w
i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self
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