Any dating advice when you live with OCD: *I’m a young man in his early twenties, if your curious. Hey, I am finally starting to feel confident enough in myself again to try and date. Since I experienced symptoms and received an official diagnosis, I notice it has become a little more difficult to date; I was diagnosed late last year. While I am truly myself and good at hiding my anxiety to a great extent (OCD), I can’t help but feel it gets in the way of things. Most women I talked to have said I make them feel very comfortable and/or they really like me or we’ll be really attracted to each other, but nothing really progresses beyond the talking stage as of recent (a month or so max of just talking). Dating can be a lot of fun, but it can also be a little anxiety inducing with questions that pop into my head: Am I being too much, too little? Is she feeling me just as much? Did I send something offensive? Another obsession is what if I send a mean or ugly message, so I can be hard sometimes...I know it might be somewhat of me issue, though I am not entirely sure what the problem could be. Any advice on dating when you have OCD? I can share a brief story that made me take a break from dating because after one date, if anyone would like about one young woman who really kicked my OCD into overdrive.

Hey, I really appreciate you taking the time to leave as kind and thoughtful of a message. I am good at masking my anxiety, though I know that with it I can easily get attached to people, which is probably not too attractive of a trait. I don’t think I’m overly needy or anything, just can grow very attached if she and I are feeling each other. Yeah, I question am I that too much? Too little? Was that stupid of me? Almost all the time, it’s just me in my head because the conversation carries on as normal. I have false memory ocd, too, which will try to convince me I sent a rude or horrible message. It can definitely be a lot. Oh, yeah, I appreciate it. I try to do the same. I talk to them as I would anyone, but of course, with some level of interest. I try to be present and natural, too. I probably struggle in that area there a little, though. Certainly, I’ve been ghosted before, so I know how it feels. I have ghosted someone myself, but only because I didn’t know how to break it to her that I wasn’t feeling anymore, since she really liked me. I regret doing that to her. I have the same fear, though. I would hate to become so invested only for someone to end it all in an instant. I usually tell someone I have OCD fairly early on, for the most part it hasn’t really turned anyone away when I admitted it to them. It’s hard, but maybe try to be honest because someone who really loves and cares about you will accept you for all your goodness and imperfections. But I am terribly sorry that someone has left you over such a thing. That sucks, but I’m sure you’ll find someone better. Don’t worry, there’s someone out there for you. May I share a story about why I am hesitant over going into the dating world again?

@Make the most of everyday ✌🏼 Thanks for the advice about telling people about OCD I appreciate. I don’t mind at all if you share your story :)

@stop. Of course! I am glad I could be of some help to you, too. Yeah, it’s never really ended badly for me when I did so far. Thank you! I’d appreciate any thoughts and opinions, but it’s sort of a long story lol...I’ll try to make it quick, though. I was talking to this young woman from Bumble, who was really sweet, and honestly there’s nothing bad I would say about her. We hit off immediately, we texted all day and talked on the phone/FaceTime for hours at a time (night, mostly—since that’s the only time we were free). We had all kinds of conversations—personal, funny, deep, and so on. Come week two, we went on a date. She said was so excited and anxious because she was really looking forward to it, which we had a good time. Afterwards, though, she told me she had too much respect for me to not be honest, and went on to say I was an amazing guy and she had a wonderful time, but she thought things were moving too fast. I agree things certainly were, but it took two of us to make it go as fast as it did, and I respected the honesty but I felt a little played. It put my OCD into overdrive and I kept questioning everything (why wouldn’t she just tell me it was, not just cut things off? If that is the case, why did she want me to meet some of her family? Did I not complement her enough? Since I would, but didn’t wanna go overboard. Was she scared about quickly and close we got? I mean, I’ve never experienced such a thing like that, either. Did I say something?), until I eventually just accepted the fact: Eh, it is what is. We weren’t anything, really, so there’s no point in stressing. Is this what you feel like? I question, how do I avoid these sort of pitfalls/anxiety again?

Yeah, I even honestly questioned if she wanted me to make an advance her, and maybe she got upset that I didn’t make a pass on her. She did mention another a guy who comes in and out the picture. But definitely, it’s all good, I will just try not to focus on the “what if’s,” “maybe,” “would/could/should I’s...” The one good thing is, being or even talking to her sort of melted away my worries. But, oh, well. It’s all good... lol Yeah, as do my friends, like my best friend and his girlfriend got together really quick, which I don’t think anything’s wrong with that. It makes me happy to see them happy. But I usually prefer to take things slow, too. Lessons learned, though 😅 I definitely agree, I’m big on being honest and establishing boundaries. I think communication is, perhaps, the most important thing in a relationship. I am sorry to hear that has happened to you, too. But I love the mindset. It’s just like, I can’t do anything about this, so forget it. I agree, learning to live and accept the uncertainty of all situations, including relationships. Maybe me getting back on the swiping game is a good form of ERP Thank you so much for all the nice remarks and such! I truly do appreciate it. I wish you the very best!! 😊

@Make the most of everyday ✌🏼 Thank you! I’m glad I could help. I wish you all the best as well!!

@stop. Of course, I hope I was of just as much help. But, yeah, I really appreciate it!