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- 4y
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Iām 20 had sex first time when I was 18 because I felt insecure as well. Honestly I wish I was a virgin now.
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- 4y
Iām sorry :( Why do you still wish you were one?
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@garden Because I always felt pressured into it I was never comfortable and I let people use and abuse me
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@Molly Thatās awful Iām really sorry. You deserved (and still deserve) better
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Just do what you want to do . Honestly itās a good thing that your listening to your values and want to focus on career . Iām the same way . I tried to be wild , and watch porn and Iām the same age as you . Worst mistake of my life . Itās good thst youāre like this
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- 4y
Itās okay. Do whatever feels comfortable and right to you. You can take any path you want as long as no one gets hurt in the process. I actually relate a lot. Iām 18 almost 19 and Iāve done nothing. Itās definitely embarrassing being in college with no experience. But everyone moves at their own pace and takes their own path and itās okay. Nothing to be ashamed of. You just need to find yours.
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Thank you so much
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Ik im not a girl but thatās a good thing if thatās your morals cause when you meet that one guy itās gonna feel 100x more romantic for both of you. I wish I was still a virgin.
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I'm the same age as you and I feel the same way. However at 17 you're still very young, there's a whole life ahead of you. Society expects us to do/experience specific things at specific ages, but at the end of the day there's no right time or wrong time. It's all a matter of moments. Some people get in serious relationship at 13 and some others at 40, and cool things is that it doesn't matter. You do you, keep focusing on yourself. Things will get into place :)
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Youāre so right
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I'm older I'm in my 30s. I can tell you that it's really perfectly fine that you haven't had sex at 17! To be honest, it's good and it's great to wait until you find someone who really cares for and respects you. Take care of yourself and your body. Looking back on my younger years (and I didn't have sex until 18, so glad I waited until then) one thing I wish is that I didn't have relations with so many men!!! Honestly, young men don't understand how to treat women well, and by the time I'm old enough to realize now it's too late. I don't judge myself for being with guys when I was younger, but I sure wish I could go back in time and slap myself into sense and say "have more self respect!" Because you are valuable and deserve to be treated well. All women do.
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Thanks so muchš
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@garden You're welcome! Society (that is ruled mostly by men) puts this pressure on young girls to be sexual and have sex, because that is what guys want! You don't have to and you 100 percent don't have to feel bad about that :). But I get it, peer pressure when you are younger can be difficult to deal with, so stay strong and know you're worthy.
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Thatās interesting. Iāve had better respect shown by younger men my age than with older men. But to be fair, my older men are your younger men. Our generation is a bit more aware so they do better. Older men kinda scare me lol.
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@stop. Yep you are right, closer in age are generally more on the level. Older men who try to get with younger women I would avoid. As i get older and are in the same situation I can see that it's not really appropriate for older people to try to be in relationships with people in their teens/early 20s. It's a power imbalance.
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@Anonymous I wasnāt really talking about dating. I havenāt dated at all. I was more talking about general respect.
Related posts
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- 20w
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and Iām kind of seeking reassurance⦠Iām still a relatively young teenager so I know Iāve got time to work all this out but Iām really confused about my sexuality. (Iām a girl) Iāve never been in a relationship (I donāt know if I want to be which is why Iām writing this) and sometimes I feel like Iāve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal⦠but then maybe thatās false memory ocd??? I donāt really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if thatās just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I donāt know if itās my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW Iām young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also Iām really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I donāt know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldnāt share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore š
- Perfectionism OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- OCD newbies
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- 19w
Huge tw Iām so scared Iām a r*pist people have told me I am. I wanted to lose my virginity when I was 19 I felt embarrassed and ashamed I hadnāt. I decided to get drunk and find someone in a club to lose it to. I donāt remember much other than I was happy it was finally happening and remember thinking my plan had worked. I was told by friends that the other person was drunk and possibly on drugs. I must be a r*pist as I knew what I was doing and instigated it, I took advantage and used someone. I feel sick and donāt deserve to move on I canāt even apologies as it was a complete stranger what if theyāre living with trauma because of me.
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- 17w
WARNING THIS IS A +18 POST I'm 24 years old and I never had a girlfriend, and in the past I felt bad about it but now i'm glad that I didn't had sex yet. I feel like I won't find a girl who is virgin too at this point, maybe it's because this is what people around me say, but even if I don't I have to work on accepting that people can change and the past doesn't matter. I wasn't a christian when i was in highschool so the reason that I didnt had sex was because I was shy and I didnt had confidence. Now because of ocd alot of times i feel mentally tired, i barelly can care for myself and those times i question how could i care for my girlfriend,I would feel alot of shame that I cant be a man for her, so maybe its good that im still single. My view about wainting until marriage changed however i still struggle sometimes with questions, I don't have close christian friends, people I go out with arent believers and it doesnt seem like not waiting until marriage had a bad effect on them. I dont believe that theres a thing that you cant connect with someone sexually,cause they always say what if you cant connect with them and you find it after marriage, I dont believe in that,I think you can work on it with anyone,however there are alot of stories of christian couples who cant connect sexually and they get divorced... so sometimes this question bugs me. Another reason is,I feel like planning your wedding and the whole party its just too much for me now, I dont say I wont have it, its just im 24 now and i feel like im too young for that,I feel weird about it, maybe when I will be 28 it will feel okay, but then if I get a gf, waiting for 3-4 years would be really hard.As I know myself I wont be able to tolerate the sexual tension more than a year, so I struggle with these things, you might say im childish, I accept that, maybe in time these will change. So if you are still here thank you, I made it really long cause I think its still important for you to know these details cause now i talk about what triggered me today. I watched a podcast about sex and how to prepare yourself for it(cause I dont like that people say as a single christian you should stay away/run away from that topic) and at one point they talked about "debuking the myths of sex" and the first one was that if you will wait until marriage, you will have a good sex life and good marriage. And i was like but thats the point, but dont misunderstand me, im not viewing this like there will be no struggles and growing is not needed, yes offcourse but stay with me cause then they said "sex at the first time should be akward(im okay with this,but then...) it should make you feel shame and discusted/discomfort, and this triggered me. I know for girls its usually painful but I heard alot of people said first time was really good, even christians on the internet who says they waited for it says it was really good. But I find the other group too who says its much harder, its akward and im like then whats the point of the honeymoon? I dont day honeymoon should be perfect but somewhat good,no? If its just a struggle that kind off takes away the beauty. You still have to find what is best for both of you but if you feel shame,discust,and akward thats a bad experience. And what should make your relationship stronger, it actually gives you more problems.When I was watching this, I got hit by those feelings cause in the past I felt shame and discust when i thought about sex and i didnt liked that cause sex is holy and its a good thing,but you say after wating so much,fighting with lust and sexual tension, finally waiting until marriage I will feel shame and discust about having sex? What if then it will be hard to do it again and it damages the marriage? Alot of these christians who make these videos had sexual life in the past so they wont feel shame and discust but we who are still virgins dont know anything about it and this is why sometimes i question is it worth to wait until marriage...
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