Only girls reply please 😁 just feel better that way So basically I’m feeling quite insecure for still being a virgin at 17 and I keep telling myself to not be so upset by what society expects of me but I literally can’t help it. Apart from a dumb relationship when I was 14, and a few pecks with boys when playing spin the bottle these last few years, I’m never been intimate with a guy. And it just makes me feel really shit about myself. I KNOW it shouldn’t matter at all but I can’t shake it off. And beyond this, I’m also worried I’ll use a guy one day just to gain experience and that’s a horrible thing to do. I always sorta told myself that before university, I’d go abroad with friends and just go wild, but if it’s all because I’m insecure, then that’s not fair on any of the guys I’d be with. At all. So what am I meant to do? At this point, I just wanna lose it and move forwards, or become more confident!! Losing it would make me feel good (but guilty because I fear I’d be using the person) yet confidence is such a long journey.

WARNING THIS IS A +18 POST I'm 24 years old and I never had a girlfriend, and in the past I felt bad about it but now i'm glad that I didn't had sex yet. I feel like I won't find a girl who is virgin too at this point, maybe it's because this is what people around me say, but even if I don't I have to work on accepting that people can change and the past doesn't matter. I wasn't a christian when i was in highschool so the reason that I didnt had sex was because I was shy and I didnt had confidence. Now because of ocd alot of times i feel mentally tired, i barelly can care for myself and those times i question how could i care for my girlfriend,I would feel alot of shame that I cant be a man for her, so maybe its good that im still single. My view about wainting until marriage changed however i still struggle sometimes with questions, I don't have close christian friends, people I go out with arent believers and it doesnt seem like not waiting until marriage had a bad effect on them. I dont believe that theres a thing that you cant connect with someone sexually,cause they always say what if you cant connect with them and you find it after marriage, I dont believe in that,I think you can work on it with anyone,however there are alot of stories of christian couples who cant connect sexually and they get divorced... so sometimes this question bugs me. Another reason is,I feel like planning your wedding and the whole party its just too much for me now, I dont say I wont have it, its just im 24 now and i feel like im too young for that,I feel weird about it, maybe when I will be 28 it will feel okay, but then if I get a gf, waiting for 3-4 years would be really hard.As I know myself I wont be able to tolerate the sexual tension more than a year, so I struggle with these things, you might say im childish, I accept that, maybe in time these will change. So if you are still here thank you, I made it really long cause I think its still important for you to know these details cause now i talk about what triggered me today. I watched a podcast about sex and how to prepare yourself for it(cause I dont like that people say as a single christian you should stay away/run away from that topic) and at one point they talked about "debuking the myths of sex" and the first one was that if you will wait until marriage, you will have a good sex life and good marriage. And i was like but thats the point, but dont misunderstand me, im not viewing this like there will be no struggles and growing is not needed, yes offcourse but stay with me cause then they said "sex at the first time should be akward(im okay with this,but then...) it should make you feel shame and discusted/discomfort, and this triggered me. I know for girls its usually painful but I heard alot of people said first time was really good, even christians on the internet who says they waited for it says it was really good. But I find the other group too who says its much harder, its akward and im like then whats the point of the honeymoon? I dont day honeymoon should be perfect but somewhat good,no? If its just a struggle that kind off takes away the beauty. You still have to find what is best for both of you but if you feel shame,discust,and akward thats a bad experience. And what should make your relationship stronger, it actually gives you more problems.When I was watching this, I got hit by those feelings cause in the past I felt shame and discust when i thought about sex and i didnt liked that cause sex is holy and its a good thing,but you say after wating so much,fighting with lust and sexual tension, finally waiting until marriage I will feel shame and discust about having sex? What if then it will be hard to do it again and it damages the marriage? Alot of these christians who make these videos had sexual life in the past so they wont feel shame and discust but we who are still virgins dont know anything about it and this is why sometimes i question is it worth to wait until marriage...

Every single time me and my boyfriend do anything sexual, I feel really really guilty about it after. We’ve never had sex before but have done other things and I don’t feel guilty about it in the moment, but afterwards I feel guilty. I don’t necessarily regret doing it but I just feel horrible as a human. He does not push himself on me in anyway and I know it’s all a me thing. He is very cautious in making sure I’m comfortable and feel okay, but I don’t start feeling guilty until afterwards. I feel like this always relates back to my faith, which has recently fallen off. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because I always get told the benefits of waiting for marriage. And honestly I do understand that, but I don’t know that I want to wait. I feel like people keep shoving “waiting for marriage” down my throat and it draws me so much further from Christianity and makes things so much harder to feel close to God again. I just feel so lonely in feeling these things and scared I’m going to hell if I keep doing stuff with my boyfriend, but I genuinely don’t know what I believe in anymore and it’s draining me that my values are changing. I know it’s probably healthy and natural for values to change as you grow up, but I feel like there’s a stereotype of Christianity I have to adhere to and it makes me so anxious and scared I’m going to hell if I don’t get everything perfect. My relationship with Christ isn’t something that I involve others in because of how personal it is to me. But I just feel shamed upon by every other Christian and it makes me scared for myself and sad for the way society is making it such a black and white view of this religion.

Ok so…. I have never had a kiss I’ve never had a bf. I am also still a teen. I feel so inexperienced and I was talking to someone today about how I was going on a date this weekend with a boy a really don’t like, but I am going in case I feel something. Anyways the person was like shocked I never had my first kiss or much of experience at all and like she tells me I’m pretty. But boys don’t really approach me and all the guys I have ever “liked” or was attracted to tend to be completely out of my league or I lose interest immediately. I just am feeling kind of numb because the person asked if I was self sabotaging…. Like looks arent the most important thing to me but you need to have a good personality to go with it and I guess I’ve never had an in person convo with a man that made me feel anything. I am also very obvious if I don’t like something it will show on my face and my actions. I just need advice because right now I feel lonely and am tired of bothering people with my issues. Should I put myself out there? But I’m honestly horrible at criticism if it is not constructive or even sometimes criticism period, also am scared of rejection. Also like what the heck do you talk about to these men like I swear I try to make convo or like talk to some people and its the blandest convo. I want to step outside my comfort zone and maybe download a dating app or something…. But I just dont feel pretty and I think my personality is not great. And whenever I bring that up I never want any damn sympathy I just want to say how I feel. I am just having a lot of anxiety about this and just relationships in general. Please any advice would do.