garden

Date posted: 4y

Only girls reply please 😁 just feel better that way So basically I’m feeling quite insecure for still being a virgin at 17 and I keep telling myself to not be so upset by what society expects of me but I literally can’t help it. Apart from a dumb relationship when I was 14, and a few pecks with boys when playing spin the bottle these last few years, I’m never been intimate with a guy. And it just makes me feel really shit about myself. I KNOW it shouldn’t matter at all but I can’t shake it off. And beyond this, I’m also worried I’ll use a guy one day just to gain experience and that’s a horrible thing to do. I always sorta told myself that before university, I’d go abroad with friends and just go wild, but if it’s all because I’m insecure, then that’s not fair on any of the guys I’d be with. At all. So what am I meant to do? At this point, I just wanna lose it and move forwards, or become more confident!! Losing it would make me feel good (but guilty because I fear I’d be using the person) yet confidence is such a long journey.

Molly

Date posted: 4y

I’m 20 had sex first time when I was 18 because I felt insecure as well. Honestly I wish I was a virgin now.

garden

Date posted: 4y

I’m sorry :( Why do you still wish you were one?

Molly

Date posted: 4y

@garden Because I always felt pressured into it I was never comfortable and I let people use and abuse me

garden

Date posted: 4y

@Molly That’s awful I’m really sorry. You deserved (and still deserve) better

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Just do what you want to do . Honestly it’s a good thing that your listening to your values and want to focus on career . I’m the same way . I tried to be wild , and watch porn and I’m the same age as you . Worst mistake of my life . It’s good thst you’re like this

stop.

Date posted: 4y

It’s okay. Do whatever feels comfortable and right to you. You can take any path you want as long as no one gets hurt in the process. I actually relate a lot. I’m 18 almost 19 and I’ve done nothing. It’s definitely embarrassing being in college with no experience. But everyone moves at their own pace and takes their own path and it’s okay. Nothing to be ashamed of. You just need to find yours.

garden

Date posted: 4y

Thank you so much

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Ik im not a girl but that’s a good thing if that’s your morals cause when you meet that one guy it’s gonna feel 100x more romantic for both of you. I wish I was still a virgin.

notfortalk

Date posted: 4y

I'm the same age as you and I feel the same way. However at 17 you're still very young, there's a whole life ahead of you. Society expects us to do/experience specific things at specific ages, but at the end of the day there's no right time or wrong time. It's all a matter of moments. Some people get in serious relationship at 13 and some others at 40, and cool things is that it doesn't matter. You do you, keep focusing on yourself. Things will get into place :)

garden

Date posted: 4y

You’re so right

Notanon

Date posted: 4y

I'm older I'm in my 30s. I can tell you that it's really perfectly fine that you haven't had sex at 17! To be honest, it's good and it's great to wait until you find someone who really cares for and respects you. Take care of yourself and your body. Looking back on my younger years (and I didn't have sex until 18, so glad I waited until then) one thing I wish is that I didn't have relations with so many men!!! Honestly, young men don't understand how to treat women well, and by the time I'm old enough to realize now it's too late. I don't judge myself for being with guys when I was younger, but I sure wish I could go back in time and slap myself into sense and say "have more self respect!" Because you are valuable and deserve to be treated well. All women do.

garden

Date posted: 4y

Thanks so much💛

Notanon

Date posted: 4y

@garden You're welcome! Society (that is ruled mostly by men) puts this pressure on young girls to be sexual and have sex, because that is what guys want! You don't have to and you 100 percent don't have to feel bad about that :). But I get it, peer pressure when you are younger can be difficult to deal with, so stay strong and know you're worthy.

stop.

Date posted: 4y

That’s interesting. I’ve had better respect shown by younger men my age than with older men. But to be fair, my older men are your younger men. Our generation is a bit more aware so they do better. Older men kinda scare me lol.

Notanon

Date posted: 4y

@stop. Yep you are right, closer in age are generally more on the level. Older men who try to get with younger women I would avoid. As i get older and are in the same situation I can see that it's not really appropriate for older people to try to be in relationships with people in their teens/early 20s. It's a power imbalance.

stop.

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous I wasn’t really talking about dating. I haven’t dated at all. I was more talking about general respect.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Advice

As someone who has never been in a relationship it’s hard for me to envision myself in one and know what it will feel like. I feel like being 21 I’ve protected myself a lot due to insecurity. I want a boyfriend and yet I don’t it’s just all really scary for me. I never had the stupid relationship to break the ice and now I’m putting so much pressure and emphasis on things and finding the RIGHT person. Also have hocd definitely doesn’t help. I’m working on myself and doing my best. But my current feelings are: I don’t like the way I look, I can’t imagine myself with someone, and I’m never going to find someone I click with and feel good with. Any advice??????

idkwhatusern...

Date posted: 17w

I’m questioning sexuality even though I’m young

Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭

hi3456

Date posted: 16w

Huge tw I’m so scared I’m a r*pist people have told me I am. I wanted to lose my virginity when I was 19 I felt embarrassed and ashamed I hadn’t. I decided to get drunk and find someone in a club to lose it to. I don’t remember much other than I was happy it was finally happening and remember thinking my plan had worked. I was told by friends that the other person was drunk and possibly on drugs. I must be a r*pist as I knew what I was doing and instigated it, I took advantage and used someone. I feel sick and don’t deserve to move on I can’t even apologies as it was a complete stranger what if they’re living with trauma because of me.

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