- Date posted
- 4y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
As difficult as ocd and depression have been for me I wake up knowing I’m here for a reason and this struggle I have fought day in and day out will be worth it someday. Getting stuck on the what if’s and intricacies of life only excaserbate my feeling of hopelessness. Know these feelings are temporary and the only way to fully embrace life is to look at what’s going on around you.
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey I want to say thank you for putting into words what’s hard for me to. I feel the same way though my life struggles or different; but it constantly plagues on things that used to make me happy and I feel like it’s changed my mindset and I don’t like it! But I feel like I react to feeling nothing by starting to feel down. But breezy is right and it’s hard to remind yourself but these feelings are temporary :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you! It just doesn’t feel temporary because I feel like my life is forever changed now because of this thought. Like instead of being an intrusive thought about someone or something, it’s an intrusive thought about the way of the world and I can’t shake that
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@princessem That’s just what your ocd wants you to think! Just remember thoughts are just random things your brain produces!
- Date posted
- 4y
@princessem Yea same here gosh it feels like this horrible new view of the world is irreversible and like this mindset is here to stay but breezy is right. That’s what it wants you to think. Everyone has out there, down, random, or disturbing thoughts. Everyone! Most ppl just don’t focus on it the way ocd ppl do and the move on from it cause it’s just a thought it doesn’t mean anything.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ari925 Thank you😢
- Date posted
- 4y
This is a thought from existential thinking. Many people think these things. We wonder why we are here or what our purpose is. Why does it all matter if we all die in the end? It sounds like you care quite a bit or you wouldn’t have wrote this out. You know? Spend some time doing ERP on this thought. “Maybe nothing matters because we will all die someday. I will press on and choose to live in the uncertainty.” You got this!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
m at the point where every night I contemplate going to the ER for my terrible thoughts. For the past 2.5 years I’ve been struggling with extremely bad existential ocd/nihilism. One day I woke up and had a nihilistic thought and since that day I’ve had severe nihilistic and suicidal thoughts. I truly don’t wanna do anything because in the end we die. In the end life is meaningless because we die. I feel almost delusional bc these thoughts feel true. Anything I do my brain goes “why are you doing this? It’s not gonna matter” I’m getting married in June and I don’t feel anything. I don’t wanna do anything. I don’t care to. I have to quit my RN job at the hospital because of this terrible theme. I don’t see a point in anything. Life doesn’t make sense. Death terrifies me. And life feels meaningless. My life is ruined. I hate ocd I hate it.
- Date posted
- 17w
the concept of death & existence is ruining my life rn 😭 im losing so much sleep. i try to close my eyes & all my brain wants to do is try to wrap itself around the idea of what not existing feels like & i get this sinking feeling that grows & grows until my eyes snap open & i have to go back on my phone to distract myself until im literally too exhausted to keep my head up & my body forces me to sleep. it makes having the motivation to do anything hard because all i can think is "it wont matter when i die". it sucks because i know that having MORE in my life might actually improve this, im 21 unemployed still living at home with ASD & i know once i have a job that will definitely give me more to focus on & other stresses to have lol, but i feel like im stuck in the endless cycle of "not having a life makes me worried im wasting my life & itll all be over so fast" & then "being so stressed about my life & time passing is exhausting & makes it too hard to find the motivation to do anything other than sit here" & repeat. spirituality is hard because i like thinking that way, like afterlife & shit, but i worry that im just "in denial" & using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism that leads to magical thinking thoughts. then its like i have some sort of meta ocd spiral obsessing over if what im doing is bad & unhealthy for my ocd or not. i LIKE being spiritual but im worrying im hurting myself & doing a compulsion thinking that way. it also doesnt help that religious spaces have hurt & traumatized so many people & im terrified of being apart of a "delusional" community that spreads a false narrative & attacks anyone that doesnt agree with them. i know i am not like that but i worry im still apart of the problem even thinking this way. at the end of the day no one knows the truth, no one knows what happens after death. im just struggling to sit with the uncertainty. it is so late rn idk of any of my words make sense lol
- Date posted
- 16w
At first, it just started as harmless questions, curiously exploring the universe and what life and death mean as a human. Then it became an obsession about death and the afterlife. I’m a Catholic-turned-agnostic who recently took an interest in religion again, trying to redevelop a relationship with God without letting the fear of not being good enough and possibly going to Hell taking over me. Instead, my brain latched onto the possibility that there is no God, that there’s eternal nothingness after the short time we have here on earth and that everything means nothing. My love for my friends and family. My desire to achieve my goals, and to be happy for the people I love achieving theirs. I’m haunted by the feeling that it will all be for nothing, that I will never be reunited with those that I love, that the people I love who have passed on have ceased to exist and one day, so will I and everyone else. I can’t function now. I’ve made myself physically ill over this. I’ve lost my appetite. As someone who once took pride in how much love I have for my job as a daycare teacher, I come into work and feel numb. I go home and feel numb. I’ve obsessively started telling the people in my life how much I love and appreciate them because for the past three days, I’ve been sick thinking about how one day, either I’ll leave them or they’ll leave me. It feels like nothing matters. It feels like everything is in vain. I’ve tried so hard to reframe my mindset, to rewire my brain to not think that way. I’ve tried ERP techniques of allowing myself to sit with the discomfort that the fear brings. To try and desensitize myself to this fear. Nothing seems to work. I’m so lost. I’ve been this way for three days, with yesterday and today being worse than the day it started. It’s like the obsession is morphing into depression in a way. I’m scared I’ll never feel enjoyment in any form again. I don’t know what to do anymore.
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