I am so frustrated. I hate OCD and the things it's telling me. Tomorrow is finally my first proper appointment with the OCD specialist. Im worried he wont be any good. I have lost too much to this disorder already. Im sick and tired of every day hearing thoughts of how everyone hates me and how Im all alone and cant open up to anyone. And the compulsions is hurting me and my close ones. Its terrible and Im so upset. I cant stop crying. It has to change. I just need some support.

Thank you! Im just hoping that its really ERP they do and not some mumbojumbo. Ive been doing ERP on my own and it has helped a lot, but I need more guidance. So fingers crosses for tomorrow. 😢

Thank you so much. You have no idea, to think a complete stranger cared to ask how it went, about something that was such a big deal to me (and I sadly dont/cant share with many people in my life): it brought such warm feelings to my heart. Felt really moved. Read your message late last night and it was such a comfort. The therapist seemed well trained and professional. We did an assessment (think thats the word) about obsessions and compulsions which was super triggering and quite embarassing with a complete stranger. And he didnt want to offer reassurance ofc so the anxiety rose quite high 😅 it was quite a terrible session. But towards the end he said "its very clear you have OCD" and he was gonna put the diagnosis in my medical journal. Such a strange feeling. Relief. Sadness. Hope. Bitterness. Grief. Disappointment. Real ambivalence. Dont know how to think about it. I dont want to be bitter. But i am a little, for being misdiagnosed and having to go without treatment for so long. But also hopeful and happy to finally get help! Thanks for caring and for listening! ❤

@asdfghj Hey! Aww of course! Well done for going to your first appointment 😁. That's the first one under your belt! It's normal for therapy and these sessions to be really draining, so give yourself some credit and some grace for that day ❤️. I'm glad you have been diagnosed and its going in your medical journal. I know, all those feelings totally make sense 😔. Still, I am very happy for you!! You've worked so so hard by yourself, it's astonishing. And now you can have a professional therapist work along side you! Things can only get better 😊. Great to hear from you! 💮