- Date posted
- 4y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I haven't quit my job even though my emotions and thoughts often overwhelm me and I feel like quitting and hiding in my bed instead.
- Date posted
- 4y
That’s amazing! It sounds like you are leading with your values. Great job 😊
- Date posted
- 4y
Although you're right, it's still very hard. Which just proves that we are very strong people even if we don't think we are.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve started to get back into studying and school. I have even deepened my relationship with my bf even while having moral Scrupulosity and ROCD fears and doubts.
- Date posted
- 4y
Good for you!! I love that!
- Date posted
- 4y
My boyfriend is Portuguese and I’m American, so we can’t see each other because of the COVID border restrictions. I’ve only recently been diagnosed with ROCD, though now that I know what it is, I know that I’ve had it for almost 2 years (the length of our official relationship). I’ve begun counseling for it through this app, seeing a psychiatrist/getting medicated, and my boyfriend and I are in the process of getting a civil marriage so I can go to see him for a few months. My hope is that we will get engaged and married in the next year or two. My ROCD makes the whole thing terrifying and heartbreaking at times, but I’m so relieved to finally be learning how to heal and taking that journey.
- Date posted
- 4y
What an incredible story, I appreciate you sharing that! You are doing great things even with your fears present, and that is huge.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
This is a great post. I’m doing much better with my contamination symptoms but the thoughts are still there, so I agree with you. Personally I see each time I’m afraid as an exposure possibility and visualize my “OCD monster” decrease in size in my head. I tell myself I could die from touching the unknown stain and that if it’s my time, it’s my time, and the anxiety lowers and I can keep living. It’s a great feeling.
- Date posted
- 4y
I love that!! The idea of an OCD monster can be such a helpful visualization.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’ve noticed that I’m somewhat happier also ignoring my thoughts than I am instead of doing compulsions (I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired atp) but I’ve heard you’re technically supposed to do erp rather than pushing under the rug. But idk if I have a thought I just refuse to think about it again and im fine even if I want to do compulsions
- Date posted
- 19w
I want to beat OCD because I have seen and felt the benefits of clearing my brain from unnecessary, pointless, thoughts. OCD is like 0 calorie food. It’s pointless. No nutrition or benefits come from my obsessions or compulsions. I don’t care to have answers to everything anymore. I catch myself just trying to stress myself out so that I have some worry to feed on. But like I said, it’s a 0 calorie food. I get nothing from it but wasted time and energy. My brain feels more spacious when I’m not consumed by OCD. I’m present. My personality has room to be herself without making space for bullshit. I tell myself now that worry is poison. I think Willie Nelson was the person I got that quote from? Anyways, that imagery of worries being poison for the mind has been transformative for me. I’m evolving. 💖 Thanks NOCD community.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 18w
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldn’t love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, “Yes, I am those things,” feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought I’d never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasn’t fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started small—simply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishes—not completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasn’t easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Will I ever feel like myself again?” But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposures—sitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasn’t going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didn’t need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymore—I’m a better version. OCD hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s quieter now. Most of the time, it doesn’t speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just starting—because I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honesty—it opened the door to lasting change. I’m no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. I’m someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesn’t define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond