any fellow law students with tips on studying distressing content? onto my second year but feeling pretty unprepared and worried

My themes fluctuate a lot but there is some harm, assault, false memory and real event themes - I’m seeking therapy for these and I’ve disclosed these stuff to my therapist, I just keep getting upset and worried if I really am a monster and a criminal. My therapist told me not to overanalyse myself into reading these cases cause the very fact that I’m worrying and getting upset over those topics is showing my values but it’s so hard.

@sana.k Is being a lawyer your dream? If yes, then go for it no matter what. If you hesitate, i would maybe (that’s just my opinion) change major. Not because you aren’t strong enough but because it will be extremely hard with your OCD to be fully happy in this field. I did 2 years in a law enforcement bachelor and for my job i had to read and classify files about pedophiles. That was my breaking point and i realized that another field would make me happier on a longer term and would help take my mind off the anxiety and dark subjects. That’s only my opinion and like i said, if you REALLY want to become a lawyer, don’t let ocd stop you.

@Anon123 I noticed myself persevere in the major a lot, even though it distressed me a lot mainly because of COVID. I think I’m determined, because when I started the degree, the subtypes I’m encountering right now wasn’t bothering me before. It’s just that I have to learn to accept and not argue with the thoughts. I think I’ll see how I go honestly, but I think I’m determined. I know that criminal law was never an option for me, but I’m also aware that some of the other areas I’m passionate about, such as Migration and Refugee Law, is also distressing. It’s gonna be hard to find different strategies while trying to overcome doubt :(

@sana.k That’s awesome if you are motivated, keep going! If things get too rough or you feel like you can’t keep going, don’t feel ashamed either. It’s okay to change plans and it doesn’t make you any less strong. I guess what i’m trying to say is don’t feel stuck if you ever start feeling really uncomfortable. When i left my major, i felt like a failure and i don’t want you to feel like this. It’s okay to have boundaries and to respect them for your own mental health. I wish you the best and i’m sure you will succeed no matter what!

@Anon123 I agree with everything! We need to take it at our own pace and be compassionate towards our needs. I'm struggling too, but ERP has made it significantly easier for me now. In the past i avoided reading cases, now i can read them and notice the anxiety, but it's a step forward. Try to improve your health first, then the rest will follow, and if it doesn't work out, thats okay too