I really can’t get over this past « mistake » . I don’t even know if it’s a mistake or a bad thing anymore . I love live and i don’t want to die but i feel like it’s the only way because i’ve ruined my life anyway

This is your OCD. You will get off of this in your head and be able to move on. Try to get a good nights sleep.

I have Real Event OCD that turned to Racism OCD. I said something insensitive years ago and now I can’t let go of it. I have so much guilt. I have racial slurs that pop in my head all the time. I have never discriminate anyone based off their skin color. Because I’m a POC too. I know everyone makes mistakes and we grow but I can’t let go.

I have chronic guilt. And I just keep thinking of the past. I have been avoiding my friends because the slurs are in my head and I’m scared to say something offensive. Like I question everything

I have Real Event OCD very badly as well. It might benefit you to do some self-esteem work, and consider that OCD is very closely related to trauma. Getting to the root of the issue could help you determine why you keep focusing on it and feeling guilt about it (besides the fact that it's just irrational OCD.) If you don't have good self esteem, you're more likely to be hard on yourself regarding things from the past that you can't change- you don't believe that you can do better in the future. Try to build some confidence and find a good therapist to discuss this with if you do not already have one.

This is me and I feel like it’s impossible.

Have you been doing ERP practices for this obsession ?

Okay lets all talk about this whats going on whats your theme and what are you feeling due to it waht are your irrational beliefs

Ok

My boss said a racist thing and I said it back but just be funny. So I can side with him. This was like years ago when I was young and dumb.

I know that. But for some reason I can’t accept it like I wanted to go back and fix the past and then I stared getting racial slurs in my head and I would spend time with my friends and slurs popped I my head and I couldn’t stop it.

And I started to believe it. I changed myself completely.

I don’t know how to accept myself.

It’s just so hard I can’t sleep at all. Like I question everything like I can’t even watch old shows or listen to the music I like because I get slurs and I question so you really like this music. It’s crazy what I did to prove to myself that I am not a bad person or a racist.

I know everyone makes mistakes but I focused on the feeling and the thought and that made me believe.

Ok thank you!