I need some advice. I have been having a lot of relationship troubles and not because my ocd because it has nothing to do with it. I got into an argument with my boyfriend yesterday and I apologized for my half of it. He was super cold to me and then sent me this long long message on something I did in the past.. like a year ago. And not cheating but me being with this guy when we weren’t together and etc etc, how I said goodbye to him. I apologized for that sincerely. But he holds a grudge and that’s why he has no motivation to make effort in this relationship and the way he said it seemed like it is valid but it isn’t. He told me I am fake, I am selfish, I didn’t deserve a second chance after what happened a “year” ago. This relationship is one sided... I put all the effort, I chase him, and I even asked if we could talk in person and he wanted space and that just bugged me because he always does that when he is upset when I want to talk, and yes people have boundaries I know that.. but it’s a way for him to do the silent treatment and I know it. He turns it on me then, and said I am fake.. I don’t understand. All I have done is show him love and I make mistakes but I’ve worked on them and he hasn’t. My family and friends think he treats me like crap. My only fear is he will find someone better than me and that’s my theme but I mean after a breakup stuff like that can happen and it scares me I’ll be all alone and won’t find anyone like him. And yes some people will be like you will find better but here’s the thing. This is the guy I wanted to marry, behind him not putting in effort and this stuff we have a lot in common and idk our love is strong. I know that just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them if they treat you like that.. but it’s so hard I feel so attached. I feel like if I end things he will blame me and move on like I’m trash and I don’t matter. Because what he said to me honestly made me feel like everything he has said about me that was positive is a lie. Because he has all these cards w sweet stuff over the years and then a recent one from my 18th and he didn’t deny it when I said do you not still think those things.. he never said I do. He said stuff has changed since then. Like what am I now trash? He said I deserved him saying all of that because I got mad at him over something. It was about my health and how he made a risky decision and he didn’t even say sorry he said he can do what he wants.. but that’s about my health and my family because of covid. And he calls me selfish.. I don’t know what to do. He basically bullied me.. and showered me with all of this stuff as if he doesn’t care about me. Yet I love him so much. He makes me feel like trash though.