I’m beginning to notice more and more how OCD works...as soon as I get latched onto any bad thought about myself, I begin to believe it. How crazy is that. You believing your thoughts (not to call people crazy)...but just the phenomenon of it all. Like someone with OCD sees a rape, they think they could be a rapist. They see pedophelia, they believe they could be a pedophile. Your brain will latch onto these ideas and hold them hostage because you fear them. Just remember who you are under these circumstances...get some confidence back in yourself. Create objectives or wins for yourself everyday. And celebrate when you do good things. I believe my OCD absolutely came from my lack of confidence over the years and my brain rewired itself to always think of the worst possible outcomes. It’s so toxic

Definitely

Thank you that’s what I’m trying but sometimes they’re just so uncontrollable that it’s hard to even focus in class. I had to watch my teacher’s video recording over 6 times to actually gain some of the material. It’s true how it comes in waves too...I mean there’s sometimes where I can think clearly when I don’t try and sexualize anything. But as soon as I try even thinking about a beautiful girl and getting excited I get one of these gay thoughts and it’s absolutely killing me inside

@Anonymous I’m sorry you’re suffering so much. I know how hard ocd can be at times. Where in the world are you? I know that here in the UK the pandemic and lockdown is having an impact on lots of people’s mental health.

@Angel20 New York

Of course, this is a horrible disease. Looking forward to my first ERP treatment next week

But I can’t even get through the day without looking at a guy and automatically a sexual image pops in. It’s like fucking clock work. And some triggers bring back old Intrusive thoughts...even about my fucking best friends. It’s so horrible I just want it to stop. I pray every single day

May I ask what kind of OCD you suffer from?

And if you feel like you’re back to your normal self?

@Anonymous My ocd focuses on my husband, relationship focused. The thoughts make me feel insecure without any reason to feel that way. I’m getting there, it’s been a long journey but I’m seeing patterns and just really starting to see ocd for what it is and how it rolls. How does ocd affect you?

@Angel20 One day out of nowhere HOCD kicked itself into overdrive. I’ve never had one single reason to question my sexuality. I’ve been around 100 naked guys at a time in locker rooms during sports and I’ve been with over 15 women sexually and enjoyed those experiences thoroughly. I’ve even had multiple crushes, one whom I genuinely felt in love with. Trying to date right now is so hard because of all the sexually intrusive images and thoughts playing in my head nonstop. The voice the won’t stop talking to me negatively. I have multiple triggers and can’t even masturbate without fear of an image rearing its nasty head. I also have a form of Pure O. I feel like I’m possessed sometimes or the devil has taken part of my soul. It’s horrifying and detrimental to my development as an adult. One thing I know to be true is I’ve always ALWAYS wanted a wife and beautiful kids and now I fear that it’s in jeopardy. I’ve broke down in tears multiple times because of this

It makes no fucking sense. All of a sudden one day I was masturbating an an image of a dude popped in and that was it...I was screwed