I'm feeling really overwhelmed and struggling with urges to engage in unhealthy coping skills. I feel so alone and like I just need the relief but I also know I really shouldn't. I don't know if it's bad enough to call someone for help, but regardless it hurts like hell...

Thank you for responding, I'm trying to use skills and tools I've learned to get through this moment but it's all very overwhelming right now. I have access to crisis help but I'm unsure about reaching out to them.

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective No problem! How severe would you rate your current state? 1 being manageable, 10 being a crisis?

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Like a 7 or 8,, not totally out of control but debilitating and emotionally painful

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective If you feel you are debilitated, it is best to seek help. :) May I ask why you're unsure about reaching out for help? Is it because of the anxiety?

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. I think mostly yeah, I'm worried I won't know what to say or that my current situation isn't worth their time. But I also can tell I need support in this moment

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective Hey, that's okay. Sometimes you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. I'm right here with you. If it's not going the way you planned whenever you call, I'll be right here to help you through it. Or, if you just need to talk, I can certainly be available. Take the next step to help yourself, you deserve it. Please believe that :)

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I'm not entirely confident in the choice, but I'm going to try. There's just as many good possibilities as bad ones, even if it's really really hard to see sometimes

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective That's a really good attitude to have :) let me know how it goes and if I can help you any further.

Unfortunately no.. tried to reach out but had phone troubles and there was too much interference

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective That's okay. Try again as soon as you feel you can. What can I do for you in the meantime? You're welcome to discuss anything you're comfortable with but don't feel obligated. This too shall pass :)

That's okay. Maybe we can unpack it piece by piece. There are external threats (things outside of your control) and internal threats (this would include OCD, anxiety, depression). Normally, an external threat triggers an internal threat. Ask yourself if something externally caused this reaction. That might help you orient yourself a bit. Does this help?

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. I think so yeah, we found out that there's been a local covid case. I started thinking about the safety of my family, which reminded me of something from the past and then somehow I got worked up to this point

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective Good, this means you're aware of the trigger. Your next step is very crucial here. What behaviors are you currently experiencing? Or are you in shock? Sometimes, in psychology, we call it derealization. Are you experiencing anything similar to those effects?

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. I don't know, I'm stuck in my head like my brain s elsewhere entirely. I do a lot of pacing in moments like this, the rythym and repetition really helps calm me down

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective That's alright, it sounds like you are trying to calm yourself. Maybe we can do some grounding techniques, and you can tell me if they're effective or not. When you want to "ground" yourself, you can do a variety of tasks that help you identify your senses. One of my favorites is to stop whatever you are doing and sit still. Start by slowly contracting your toe muscles and releasing them. Then go to your thighs. Then stomach and so on. The goal here is to focus on your primitive senses and give less focus to your peripheral nervous system (the system that is in charge of fight or flight response). Try it and let me know how it goes.

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. I struggled with it but it helped a little to get energy out

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective That's good. That means you're slowly coming back to normal regulation. Keep focusing on your senses and letting the thoughts pass by, don't judge them and don't try to seek an answer. There is no answer. Tell yourself this when you feel compelled to check or ruminate or review the past. You are not in danger, and this is what you must first realize. Your brain thinks you are in a very dangerous environment right now. Your goal is to neutralize the fear. Be sure to call emergency crisis if you still feel it is unbearable after all of this.

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Thank you so much, I'm so grateful for your help tonight

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective No problem :) I'm glad to help. I'll check in with you tomorrow to see how you're feeling. In the meantime, try to center yourself and stop trying to find solutions. This will help immensely!

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective How are you feeling today?

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. A lot better thank you, I'm not 100% but thats okay too

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective That could be your fear: that your a horrible person.

@ocd.is.not.an.adjective That's alright! Any improvement is good. Take it a day at a time. Please feel free to tag me if you need any help. :)

@MMountains Can a fear also be a core belief?

Less a fear than a fact sometimes, but I have a lot of thoughts that I'm a horrible person when I get stuck like this