Hey guys I’ve been wanting to rant and maybe someone will listen or give me advice but if not that’s fine too. (p.s not OCD related) I feel very lonely in life at the moment. I don’t have a large amount of friends. The friends I do have are not very close to me and they all have their BFFs but I’m just like on the outside of all the other friendships. One (or the only one) of the BFFs I had turns out to be a bit Transphobic and the trans community is a community I respect soooo much and it feels like a betrayal to that community to be friends with her (the person who’s a bit Transphobic) but i don’t wanna loose another friendship. Almost everyone has their friend groups and friendships and stuff but almost no one pays attention to me. And I try to give my all to any friendship big or small but the other person never seems to care. I’ve been thinking reaching out to classmates I rarely talk to but even that feels wrong. I don’t know what to do.

I’m sorry to hear that. I also don’t have friends. It can get a bit lonely especially if you have ocd as no one seems to understand what we are going through and they might think that our thoughts are weird. We can be friends if you want.

Hey, there. :) I'm here to listen to your story if you need to talk. I do have a philosophical suggestion that may help, and that is a very old essay titled "Friendship" by Henry David Thoreau. I think you may find some peace in it.

It can be hard to find your tribe. One thing I have learned in my near 5o years, is relationships are give and take. Sometimes some people seem to always been needing your help or whatever and are not there for you. But then as you get older you will see you have some friends you lean on more than they lean on you. And it’s ok. As long as people sow gratitude and are kind, it’s ok if maybe they are always asking you to help them with xyz as long as you have fun and are laughing when you are together. Some people find that friend that is their BFF and fills all the rolls, but most people don’t. You will have one friend that likes dogs and you chat when you volunteer at a shelter, another that likes to go on walks, another movies, not necessarily those exactly thing, but you get the idea, I hope. Find things that YOU enjoy doing, and do them, and I promise you will start meeting people. I am sorry you are feeling lonely right now. When you wake up take some deep breaths, say outloud ( or write) three things you are thankful for, and three things you want for yourself. Keep your heart and eyes open, and you will find friends. Be patient. But being your own friend and treating yourself the way you want to be treated is a start. I know it can be hard to do things alone, especially now during covid, but maybe start with little things that you like and do them. For me it was volunteering with animals and getting a membership to meuseums, just as an example. I know this doesn’t actually answer your current concerns, but hopefully SOMETHING in my Ted talk of a comment was helpful. Oh, and we aren’t always gonna have the same moral values as friends and that’s a tough one to answer, so I will leave that one alone. I am still struggling with that one!