- Username
- Just another OCD guy
- Date posted
- 3y ago
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- Username
- DyingswanDyingswan
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you for sharing it in this space. It's crucial that you have already realized that is something you can't control and it's not your fault. It's all a scam of OCD, you WILL get over that anxiety. Breathe deeply. Sending you light and strenght!
- Username
- Just another OCD guyJust another...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you so much for you reply and support I truly appreciate it
- Username
- TerminusTerminus
- Date posted
- 3y ago
All straight or bisexual men subconsciously sexualize women. Males have one biological purpose in life and that is to impregnate women. It's coded in male dna and can't be changed no matter what you do so try not to stress about it. It's coded there for the survival of our species. The fact ocd is latching onto this shows that you really care about this subject and respect women. The behavior you are describing is like many other cases of this nature. I read a story about a priest going through a very similar thing as you. Humans are attracted to other people despite their mate and this is also coded in biology. It's also there for survival. We as a society adopted marriage to show commitment and how we care about our significant other above primal urges to impregnate as many women as possible and be impregnated by a strong mate as long as fertile. The fact you are bothered of POSSIBLY being attracted to women despite your fiancee shows you are in fact very faithful. I hope this helps buddy
- Username
- Just another OCD guyJust another...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you for your reply but This actually triggered me more. I don’t think women are to be seen as an object or as something to impregnate. I think women are human beings and should be seen as that instead as potential sexual partners. I know I’m faithful and loyal but I don’t want to look at women in that way. I’m going to be conscious about only looking at women from the neck up. I think women deserve more respect than normalizing sexualizing them.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Keep Going I agree but we can’t do anything about since it’s nature and it’s just how we are subconsciously
- Username
- stop.stop.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I think a lot of it is your OCD messing with you, but also some of it is a lack of separation between sexualizing and feeling sexual attraction. I think you’re so afraid of sexualizing that you’re also fearing sexual attraction and aesthetic attraction which are okay. Sexualizing comes from objectifying and seeing someone as something to have sex with. Sexual attraction is normal and is feeling arousal or attraction to someone which is okay. Aesthetic attraction is appreciating the beauty of someone and that’s also okay. I’ve had this issue, but with men and I really struggled with separating sexualization and sexual attraction/aesthetic attraction in my head. It became hard for me because well we don’t have control over our attraction, but we do have control over who we sexualize and treat poorly but I had trouble distinguishing the two in my brain so I was just afraid to feel anything.
- Username
- stop.stop.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Username
- Just another OCD guyJust another...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@stop. Thank you! But I still don’t think it’s okay to be desiring anyone but your partner. I understand it’s normal and okay for most people but it’s just not okay for me.
- Username
- stop.stop.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Keep Going Thats okay. I actually skipped over the fiancé part so I didn’t notice. It doesn’t have to be normal for you. Yes, humans still feel attraction to other people outside relationships because your attraction just doesn’t magically turn off and that’s nothing to be ashamed of if it does happen, but if you’re making an individual goal not do that then okay. It’s your life. I just wanted to help clear up any possible confusion that makes it worse because I was in a similar position. It really does help to know what sexualization actually is and how it’s different from sexual attraction and sexual desire.
- Username
- Just another OCD guyJust another...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I wanted to thank all you guys for your input. I love how willing to help you guys are and I’m so grateful you guys exist
Related posts
- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hi All, I (22F) have been suffering from HOCD for the past three months. I am engaged to the man I want to be with. However, I can't kick OCD. I was recently aroused when looking at a model in lingerie. The lingerie was objectively sexy and I briefly thought about how she was posing for a man with her breasts out. Likewise, I thought about how sexy it would be if I wore that. But, now I'm terrified. If I can get these responses from the female body-not the male body-that must surely mean something. Likewise, I have trouble orgasming during sex and I don't always love making out. But, I really don't think I'm a lesbian? Long story short, I need help getting over this. I'm in college and I can barely study. All I do is worry. I can't even enjoy my engagement at this rate because I'm convinced I'm in denial. This sexual arousal gives me incredible amounts of anxiety, especially considering I have been turned on by stuff like this in the past. If anyone has any helpful words, please let me know. I am not seeking reassurance, but I felt this backstory was necessary to explain why this fear has been so potent. There may be some real attraction here, which terrifies me. I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy life and improve sex with my fiance but I'm feeling hopeless. If anyone has any words of advice, it would be deeply appreciated.
- Username
- Just another...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I have such an irrational fear of emotionally hurting my fiancé that I have completely stopped talking to women as a whole. It’s not that I want to but I feel like if I have a conversation with a woman, I’ll overthink everything I said to make sure I wasn’t flirty or too nice and it’s gotten to the point where I rather not even talk to them. But I feel like this makes me look so awkward to people and I don’t know what to do :/
- Username
- kytalker
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Help
Hi everyone! I just wanted to see if anyone else felt the way that I did about something related to SO-OCD… I’m finally discovering that I might have this sub genre of OCD and have had it for a very long time. I have always felt awkward around other women especially in more intimate situations (like changing in the same room, laying in bed together or giving compliments about looks). All of this hit me like a ton of bricks when I got into a relationship with my boyfriend 2 years ago and our sex life started to decline after about 9 months of us being together. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and I obsess over finding out why I have grown not attracted to him sexually. Am I a lesbian? Am I just depressed? Am I falling out of love with him? Was I ever in love with him? The list goes on and my obsession with it grows stronger. I’m so scared I will have to break up with him because I do love him and love spending time with him. I’m scared to start ERP therapy because I’m worried I’ll realize that it’s best to just let him go 😭
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