I have this new obsession of worrying if I’m subconsciously sexualizing women. I consider myself a feminist and and ally of women. My OCD has made me scared of objectifying women so much that I avoid looking at them now. If a women crosses my field of view I get anxious and worry if I was looking at them inappropriately. I also have a fiancé so it also makes me feel like I’m being unfaithful.

Thank you for sharing it in this space. It's crucial that you have already realized that is something you can't control and it's not your fault. It's all a scam of OCD, you WILL get over that anxiety. Breathe deeply. Sending you light and strenght!

All straight or bisexual men subconsciously sexualize women. Males have one biological purpose in life and that is to impregnate women. It's coded in male dna and can't be changed no matter what you do so try not to stress about it. It's coded there for the survival of our species. The fact ocd is latching onto this shows that you really care about this subject and respect women. The behavior you are describing is like many other cases of this nature. I read a story about a priest going through a very similar thing as you. Humans are attracted to other people despite their mate and this is also coded in biology. It's also there for survival. We as a society adopted marriage to show commitment and how we care about our significant other above primal urges to impregnate as many women as possible and be impregnated by a strong mate as long as fertile. The fact you are bothered of POSSIBLY being attracted to women despite your fiancee shows you are in fact very faithful. I hope this helps buddy

I think a lot of it is your OCD messing with you, but also some of it is a lack of separation between sexualizing and feeling sexual attraction. I think you’re so afraid of sexualizing that you’re also fearing sexual attraction and aesthetic attraction which are okay. Sexualizing comes from objectifying and seeing someone as something to have sex with. Sexual attraction is normal and is feeling arousal or attraction to someone which is okay. Aesthetic attraction is appreciating the beauty of someone and that’s also okay. I’ve had this issue, but with men and I really struggled with separating sexualization and sexual attraction/aesthetic attraction in my head. It became hard for me because well we don’t have control over our attraction, but we do have control over who we sexualize and treat poorly but I had trouble distinguishing the two in my brain so I was just afraid to feel anything.

I wanted to thank all you guys for your input. I love how willing to help you guys are and I’m so grateful you guys exist