- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for sharing it in this space. It's crucial that you have already realized that is something you can't control and it's not your fault. It's all a scam of OCD, you WILL get over that anxiety. Breathe deeply. Sending you light and strenght!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for you reply and support I truly appreciate it
- Date posted
- 4y
All straight or bisexual men subconsciously sexualize women. Males have one biological purpose in life and that is to impregnate women. It's coded in male dna and can't be changed no matter what you do so try not to stress about it. It's coded there for the survival of our species. The fact ocd is latching onto this shows that you really care about this subject and respect women. The behavior you are describing is like many other cases of this nature. I read a story about a priest going through a very similar thing as you. Humans are attracted to other people despite their mate and this is also coded in biology. It's also there for survival. We as a society adopted marriage to show commitment and how we care about our significant other above primal urges to impregnate as many women as possible and be impregnated by a strong mate as long as fertile. The fact you are bothered of POSSIBLY being attracted to women despite your fiancee shows you are in fact very faithful. I hope this helps buddy
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for your reply but This actually triggered me more. I don’t think women are to be seen as an object or as something to impregnate. I think women are human beings and should be seen as that instead as potential sexual partners. I know I’m faithful and loyal but I don’t want to look at women in that way. I’m going to be conscious about only looking at women from the neck up. I think women deserve more respect than normalizing sexualizing them.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Keep Going I agree but we can’t do anything about since it’s nature and it’s just how we are subconsciously
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- 4y
I think a lot of it is your OCD messing with you, but also some of it is a lack of separation between sexualizing and feeling sexual attraction. I think you’re so afraid of sexualizing that you’re also fearing sexual attraction and aesthetic attraction which are okay. Sexualizing comes from objectifying and seeing someone as something to have sex with. Sexual attraction is normal and is feeling arousal or attraction to someone which is okay. Aesthetic attraction is appreciating the beauty of someone and that’s also okay. I’ve had this issue, but with men and I really struggled with separating sexualization and sexual attraction/aesthetic attraction in my head. It became hard for me because well we don’t have control over our attraction, but we do have control over who we sexualize and treat poorly but I had trouble distinguishing the two in my brain so I was just afraid to feel anything.
- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
@stop. Thank you! But I still don’t think it’s okay to be desiring anyone but your partner. I understand it’s normal and okay for most people but it’s just not okay for me.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Keep Going Thats okay. I actually skipped over the fiancé part so I didn’t notice. It doesn’t have to be normal for you. Yes, humans still feel attraction to other people outside relationships because your attraction just doesn’t magically turn off and that’s nothing to be ashamed of if it does happen, but if you’re making an individual goal not do that then okay. It’s your life. I just wanted to help clear up any possible confusion that makes it worse because I was in a similar position. It really does help to know what sexualization actually is and how it’s different from sexual attraction and sexual desire.
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- 4y
I wanted to thank all you guys for your input. I love how willing to help you guys are and I’m so grateful you guys exist
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
My whole life I’ve kind of stared at people’s crotches whenever they’re wearing something revealing a bikini. I feel like I’ve always searched to see if I can see an outline or something or anything because it’s so revealing. It kind of feels like curiosity I don’t know how to describe it. I did this before my OCD got bad and I do this now. I feel scared that I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. I’m scared that I’m doing something perverted. What scares me the most is that about a year ago this happened with my boyfriend sister. She was 15 at the time. I didn’t think much about it. I stared, searched and moved on. But now I really question if I did something awful or if my intentions were perverted. I’m questioning whether it’s okay to even have curiosity about this. Maybe this is normal and people don’t analyze their behavior, I don’t know. I had a theory that this has been a compulsion all along but right now it feels fully out the window. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I really need someone’s input or perspective. Please.
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- Date posted
- 21w
I can't look at 18+ videos, comics, etc. I am straight, but SO-OCD tries to make me think I am not And the thoughts turns to feelings, and makes me scared, uncomfortable, sad, because I know this is not me. And when I try to imagine myself being with the woman on adult videos, and comics, my OCD gives gronal response not at the girl, and it fills me with fear, and anxiety, I always loved, and was attracted to women but I can't and it caused me to be depressed, and I keep ruminating I keep trying to focus on her, but it's so bad that I avoid those all the time now. I am wondering has anyone gone through something like this, or currently is, and wondering how you have done to combat this!
- Date posted
- 21w
Hey guys so I have been suffering with sexual ocd due to the fact that I don’t feel that romantic spark with him anymore, I love him and I know I do but I get to much in my thoughts thinking about why can’t I feel that anymore what has changed what if I don’t wanna be with anymore I’ve been with him for 4 years and at first I think it was ROCD but now I started thinking what if I’m into girls now I’ve always been the type to say oh a girl is so pretty or I like this about her but now I feel like every time I see a girl I’m like do I see myself in a relationship with her oh she’s pretty oh I like her voice do I find it attractive and sometimes I do !!! Which is killing me I feel disgust thinking about because what if I secretly am no shame to people who are my sister herself is but I just feel wierd because I wanna be with my husband and feel happy there not with a girl and feel like a man because I see myself in the mirrior and I’m like do I myself being a man do I look lesbian? Do I act lesbian or bi? What if secretly I wanna be a man or I imagine myself being a man in a relationship with a pretty girl and idk what to think
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