- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for sharing it in this space. It's crucial that you have already realized that is something you can't control and it's not your fault. It's all a scam of OCD, you WILL get over that anxiety. Breathe deeply. Sending you light and strenght!
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- 4y
Thank you so much for you reply and support I truly appreciate it
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- 4y
All straight or bisexual men subconsciously sexualize women. Males have one biological purpose in life and that is to impregnate women. It's coded in male dna and can't be changed no matter what you do so try not to stress about it. It's coded there for the survival of our species. The fact ocd is latching onto this shows that you really care about this subject and respect women. The behavior you are describing is like many other cases of this nature. I read a story about a priest going through a very similar thing as you. Humans are attracted to other people despite their mate and this is also coded in biology. It's also there for survival. We as a society adopted marriage to show commitment and how we care about our significant other above primal urges to impregnate as many women as possible and be impregnated by a strong mate as long as fertile. The fact you are bothered of POSSIBLY being attracted to women despite your fiancee shows you are in fact very faithful. I hope this helps buddy
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- 4y
Thank you for your reply but This actually triggered me more. I don’t think women are to be seen as an object or as something to impregnate. I think women are human beings and should be seen as that instead as potential sexual partners. I know I’m faithful and loyal but I don’t want to look at women in that way. I’m going to be conscious about only looking at women from the neck up. I think women deserve more respect than normalizing sexualizing them.
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- 4y
@Keep Going I agree but we can’t do anything about since it’s nature and it’s just how we are subconsciously
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- 4y
I think a lot of it is your OCD messing with you, but also some of it is a lack of separation between sexualizing and feeling sexual attraction. I think you’re so afraid of sexualizing that you’re also fearing sexual attraction and aesthetic attraction which are okay. Sexualizing comes from objectifying and seeing someone as something to have sex with. Sexual attraction is normal and is feeling arousal or attraction to someone which is okay. Aesthetic attraction is appreciating the beauty of someone and that’s also okay. I’ve had this issue, but with men and I really struggled with separating sexualization and sexual attraction/aesthetic attraction in my head. It became hard for me because well we don’t have control over our attraction, but we do have control over who we sexualize and treat poorly but I had trouble distinguishing the two in my brain so I was just afraid to feel anything.
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- 4y
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- 4y
@stop. Thank you! But I still don’t think it’s okay to be desiring anyone but your partner. I understand it’s normal and okay for most people but it’s just not okay for me.
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- 4y
@Keep Going Thats okay. I actually skipped over the fiancé part so I didn’t notice. It doesn’t have to be normal for you. Yes, humans still feel attraction to other people outside relationships because your attraction just doesn’t magically turn off and that’s nothing to be ashamed of if it does happen, but if you’re making an individual goal not do that then okay. It’s your life. I just wanted to help clear up any possible confusion that makes it worse because I was in a similar position. It really does help to know what sexualization actually is and how it’s different from sexual attraction and sexual desire.
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- 4y
I wanted to thank all you guys for your input. I love how willing to help you guys are and I’m so grateful you guys exist
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So I’ve SOOCD since I was in 8 th grade and it got really bad when I had an intrusive thought as to what if I was bi. And ever since then I’ve had self destructive behavior to where I would think the thoughts on purpose or about women and checking them out and flirting with them. ( I identify as straight) and over time these thoughts and self destructive behavior hasn’t bothered me and now they feel apart of me I know apart of it is ocd but also it’s me like me willingly looking at women and me wanting to have sexual thoughts or feel aroused and in reality if I never had ocd I would never think this way I could live without women and never sleeping with them I do have a bf and I love him and am attracted to him rn thought bc of what happened last night with a women it’s hard to feel that can anyone relate?
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- 22w
I feel so ridiculous saying this. Has anyone struggled with looking down a people’s private areas since having ocd. I hate it, but feel I have to look or find myself just looking. I feel so guilty after and especially when it’s a women I kinda shudder after like why did I just do that. Ugh I hate this. I never used to have this issue but now I’m focusing on it my anxiety is going crazy with it . If people have experienced, how did you get over this??? My sexual orientation is thriving off this . I hate it
- Date posted
- 19w
My bf swears he doesn’t notice other women, and that even before dating me, he was never the kind of person to look at women. I, however, have difficulty trusting him. OCD makes this a thousand times worse. Now I don’t ever notice him staring at other women or anything, but I see him look around sometimes especially when someone passes by or someone new shows up while we’re in a restaurant or something. He insists this is him noticing movement and also checking surroundings for safety reasons, but how can I be sure he’s not secretly catching a glance bc his “controlling” gf won’t let him. He insists, swears on his life, that he has no eyes for other women, but if I’m being honest guys, I don’t trust him. No matter how often he proves himself, I don’t trust him. I am often checking his eyes in public. It was worse back then, we have worked through this and I’m doing better now, but I always regress to old habits and old fears. I feel this will be the rest of my life, where I will never be able to fully trust a man. That OCD will always hold me back.
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