I have this new obsession of worrying if I’m subconsciously sexualizing women. I consider myself a feminist and and ally of women. My OCD has made me scared of objectifying women so much that I avoid looking at them now. If a women crosses my field of view I get anxious and worry if I was looking at them inappropriately. I also have a fiancé so it also makes me feel like I’m being unfaithful.

Hi All, I (22F) have been suffering from HOCD for the past three months. I am engaged to the man I want to be with. However, I can't kick OCD. I was recently aroused when looking at a model in lingerie. The lingerie was objectively sexy and I briefly thought about how she was posing for a man with her breasts out. Likewise, I thought about how sexy it would be if I wore that. But, now I'm terrified. If I can get these responses from the female body-not the male body-that must surely mean something. Likewise, I have trouble orgasming during sex and I don't always love making out. But, I really don't think I'm a lesbian? Long story short, I need help getting over this. I'm in college and I can barely study. All I do is worry. I can't even enjoy my engagement at this rate because I'm convinced I'm in denial. This sexual arousal gives me incredible amounts of anxiety, especially considering I have been turned on by stuff like this in the past. If anyone has any helpful words, please let me know. I am not seeking reassurance, but I felt this backstory was necessary to explain why this fear has been so potent. There may be some real attraction here, which terrifies me. I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy life and improve sex with my fiance but I'm feeling hopeless. If anyone has any words of advice, it would be deeply appreciated.

Hi everyone! I just wanted to see if anyone else felt the way that I did about something related to SO-OCD… I’m finally discovering that I might have this sub genre of OCD and have had it for a very long time. I have always felt awkward around other women especially in more intimate situations (like changing in the same room, laying in bed together or giving compliments about looks). All of this hit me like a ton of bricks when I got into a relationship with my boyfriend 2 years ago and our sex life started to decline after about 9 months of us being together. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and I obsess over finding out why I have grown not attracted to him sexually. Am I a lesbian? Am I just depressed? Am I falling out of love with him? Was I ever in love with him? The list goes on and my obsession with it grows stronger. I’m so scared I will have to break up with him because I do love him and love spending time with him. I’m scared to start ERP therapy because I’m worried I’ll realize that it’s best to just let him go 😭

So I feel like I’ve been making lots of progress with my OCD, but there’s one key obsession I just can’t let go of: The fear of being an incel (i.e. involuntarily celibate). Now, before anything else, I must say that I don’t hate women at all. If anything, most of my closest friends have been women. I also do admire women’s other gifts, not just beauty. I too have many “feminine” traits, or at least things that are typically associated with women like cooking, gardening, caring for others, and being open about my emotions. It all seems like I was a healthy blend of masculine and feminine traits, and that it was ok to not be a “Chad”. That is, until I came across the term “incel” My OCD really likes to make me believe I’m an incel, because quite frankly, I’m not exactly conventionally attractive. I’ve been on Tinder, only to be scammed, blackmailed, and rejected. No success there… so my OCD draws the conclusion, yeah you’re an incel. Even though I’m appalled and grossed out by incel forums, and I refuse to be labeled as an incel, OCD makes me think that. I’ve come to the conclusion that I should just give up on dating, because it just doesn’t seem worth the effort. And before anyone starts saying I should work on myself, I’m self aware enough to know what I’m weak at. I’ve lost a ton of weight, go to therapy, take time for self care, have now a job, have my own place, and otherwise doing ok for myself. Do anyone else out there get this too? Female “incel” comments are welcome too.