I fucking hate having ROCD. Once minute I love him to death and the next I’m not feelin it. I know I generally love him, and I know that I’m in love with him (OCD makes me doubt if I am or not all the time) but sometimes my head feels so empty when I’m with him. Whenever we get intimate it’s amazing. I always get flashbacks, and I miss his kisses, the way he knows my body so well. But when I’m physically with him something inside me doesn’t enjoy the moment and worries about the future. Because when I’m alone all I want to do is be with him, kiss him all over, lay on him, but when I’m with him, sometimes all I worry about is the future, whether it be about us, or the world. I’m not sure how to get out of it.

Thank you for the scientific background for this! It’s very helpful and I’ll definitely take your word for it.

You too hun 🤎

Oh I have definitely imagined us breaking up a bunch of times. Are there any other things I should try for erp?

@bubbless Well when you are with him and maybe going to the kitchen to make some coffee and you are bringing those cups to your living room try saying: "This is real moment, i will breakup with him MAYBE when i put those cups on the table, or MAYBE when we drink coffee, and MAYBE NOT we will see" That is ERP and staying in uncertanity on purpouse.

@Jovan Zecevic Okay, I’ll try that. Thank you!

@bubbless Nature in anxiety (not OCD) is pattern "What if" "Maybe will" and if you find that anxiety relsted to something that is really danger to you (Some drunk maniac on the street) you act on that thoughts and seek your safety. But, when it comes to OCD you have some awkward themes that isnt real danger to you, but you care them most and you are starting to fight with "air" trying to convice yourself that everything is okay, but paradoxaly, EVERYTHIS IS OKAY AND IT WILL BE OKAY. You are trying to answer to the question (Do i love my boyfriend enoguh?) and that question cannot be answered 100% because you cant measure your love. So key think is to stay in uncertanity on purpouse and want that anxiety and see what will happen (nothing, i guarantee you that!).

@Jovan Zecevic Thank you so much this really helps

@Jovan Zecevic hey do you think what is more effective - disregarding bad thoughts and emotions completely or doing ERP and agreeing with thoughts on purpose, forcing yourself to feel anxiety?

@Daria Alexandrovna You surely must disregard those apsurd thoughts. If you feel anxious about something you should try "Maybe it will, and maybe will not, we will see" in this way you are sending signal to your brain "She doesent want to be certain" and after soke time you will he courage to say "Yes, it will happen, i am happy to that!!!"

@Jovan Zecevic I tried me but it didn't satisfy me do I need to just not stop saying that?

@Daria Alexandrovna Whenever you feel anxiety do that, if you are not feeling anxiety that bothers you you dont have to do that. Its simple 😁

@Jovan Zecevic ok thank you

That happened to me too for the longest time. Sometimes I would cry when I would be with him cause it just made me so upset. Now I’m just emotionally numb but it’s been getting easier I’m terms of maintaining my ocd. Hopefully the “last stage” is having my ocd disappear forever.