I'm deciding to type all the obsessions I can remember having over the years. I'm 18 now so it'll be a long list lol. -Me worrying I harmed a friend in kindergarten. I avoided him. -My star wars toys don't really belong to me after receiving them on Christmas. I kept worrying about it and felt bad Those are the youngest ones I can remember. I was 6. - In fourth grade I had the obsession I would go to hell. I had "I swear to God" playing in my head constantly and I compulsively prayed CONSTANTLY. This was one of the worst obsessions I've ever had. -Fifth grade I'm afraid about simelnilla from my turtle, ( I don't know how to spell it) I used stupid amounts of lysol and washed my hands way too much. Overall this was mild. -Sixth I was worried my sister would get pregnant by sharing the same shower as me. I scrubbed everywhere I touched including the sink, toilet seat and THE FLOORS. This is the end of my younger obsessions I can recall. My OCD seemed almost dorment for a few years then covid hit with lockdown. This is why I'm in a hellhole now. During lockdown I've obsessed, -A family heirloom I have on my shelf will break because of my shelf snapping. I covered it in over three feet of blankets and checked it constantly through the night. In the morning I gave it back to my father - I've worried I'm a reincarnated N@zi and traitor to my country. This was very stressful. - I worried I had transgender surgery at birth and am not a male. -I worried I was attracted to animals -I worried that the women I've been attracted to are secretly male or have had transgender surgery. -I worried I wanted to kill my family -I worried I want to touch children These are my main themes as of today, -Ive worried I'm gay -Ive worried I'm bisexual Why does life have to be so hard? I've been punished so much. I've had three surgeries on my neck. I've moved many times. I was bullied until 7th grade. I've always wanted a wife. Now it's like I can't have that. I seriously don't want to be with a man. I'm very lonely. My girlfriend played with me, lied and cheated then called me a bad person. This post makes me realize I've been through a good amount of shit in my short time. I want peace.

PinkLotus

Date posted: 4y

And yet you’re here today and that within itself is an achievement. You’ve gone through all these terrible obsessions, I agree it’s horrible and no one should have to go through what you do. But you’re strong and you will conquer 💗

Doom guy

Date posted: 4y

Thank you. I wish you the best

PureOemu

Date posted: 4y

I’ve dealt with a lot of the same themes that you described. I also have had these thoughts and felt ashamed of them for as long as I can remember. I am in my 40’s now, and even though OCD is still a struggle and I still go through ups and downs with it, I feel like it has gotten better with age. I think partly because I was able to finally figure out what is wrong with me after finding it on the internet in my thirties. It helps to know what it is you’re fighting, because then you can learn better strategies to fight it. I always thought I wouldn’t get married, but I did, and my husband knows about the OCD and is very accepting. You will meet that person, too, someday, but until then, you always have all of us on here that understand how your mind works, and that it does not make you a bad person.

Doom guy

Date posted: 4y

Thank you. Your reply is comforting

🌙

Date posted: 4y

you’ve struggled so much, i’m sorry. you don’t deserve it. none of us do. i really hope you can find some peace with your ocd. 💓

Doom guy

Date posted: 4y

Thank you. I wish you the best. I hope you are either at peace or close to it

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