- Username
- bassoonista
- Date posted
- 3y ago
i have felt that before! a more persistent feeling i have in my life that may be similar.. is when i am in a relationship i obsess about their appearance and what people think of them because i want others to think they are cool and attractive, because if they are then that means obviously i am. i worry about their outer appearance but also how they act around others. like i stress about if they are gonna say something stupid or rub someone the wrong way. i know that is very different but it’s also i guess the same in the way we are obsessing over certain people and how they are perceived, ya know? i get it is what i am trying to say and you’re most definitely not alone! don’t feel like a bad person.. a lot more people than you think have this feeling
Yes I’ve experienced this quite a lot, it’s one of the biggest themes of my OCD.
Sounds a little like rOCD themes to me.
You’re definitely not alone. It’s really hard when I can’t find my kind of OCD in all the lists of types of OCD. I call it CCE OCD, competition comparison envy OCD. I will obsess about someone and how they look, how much better they are than me, all the info I know about them, etc. I’ll see their pictures and videos in my mind all the time (from stalking them on social media and online, that’s my compulsion.) When it was my ex’s ex I obsessed about him going back to her and if she had a better body than me, she had a child with him and I didn’t, etc. But it can be different kinds of people, not just having to do with my relationships, and if they appear arrogant or full of themselves that can definitely be triggering for me. I think it came from my parents separating when I was 3 and my father leaving the household and seeing him move on with women other than my mother (we can inherit our parents’ fears, and I’m an extension of my mother so fears of inadequacy, inferiority, being threatened etc.), and then being so afraid of being replaced when he had another kid when I was 12. My OCD started when I was about 14 and a guy I was dating had dated another girl at my school before me and I got super obsessively afraid that he liked her better and would go back to her, and that she was prettier and more attractive. Sometimes I’ll be super resentful of their looks, their success, them being mothers etc. I’ll feel like I hate them and I’ll feel haunted by them. It can feel like mental/emotional self-torture. That’s a lot of info lol but I hope you feel less alone knowing other people have similar experiences.
Does anyone else experience obsessions regarding a particular person? Where this person kind of takes up a lot of your time and you feel almost addicted to like looking at pictures of them or trying to be like them and stuff? It’s almost like theres a compulsion to find out things about them or see a picture of them or whatever. I usually find that these people are women who I admire (celebrities or people older/more accomplished than I am) and want to be like. I feel like a huge loser and a monster sometimes, and because these people are women it has greatly contributed to my HOCD.? Idk anyone could relate at all to this?
Can any of you with relationship ocd please share your experiences below?? Don't be afraid to give details!!! I want to know your experiences and relate to you guys!!! Mine was when I first told my crush I liked him. A month or two after that, we became official. That's when all the anxiety kicked it and when my life turned upside down. I got lots of ugly thoughts like my boyfriend wasn't attractive, me hurting him or killing him, all these awful ugly things that ruined everything and made me depressed and anxious. Whenever I thought someone else was attractive I would feel so so bad and thought I didn't love him. It was awful 😞 now I just for us on his imperfections and makes me fear he's unnattractive even though he's not. Ugh I wish this would end
(Synopsis: Has your OCD ever latched on to someone and caused major changes in your life? How do you deal with feeling like a total creep?) My OCD has latched on to a guy I had a crush on through my school years. It started when I followed him on Instagram. I then broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years (which was for the best) and immediately started trying to SLEEP WITH THIS MAN. We DM’d and it went nowhere but I was EXTREMELY forward and aggressive to the point where a year later I am still very embarrassed by it. After that happened, I muted his story and posts and my obsessions faded. Then I was buying a home and since he is a carpenter I hit him up for a quote… It went nowhere as well probably because I BASICALLY SEXUALLY HARASSED HIM. Anyway, then I saw the gym he went to looked like something I might enjoy so I signed up. I fell in love with this gym and now I go every day when I was never an active person. I’ve seen him there a few times and we just say hello. Super awkward. My friend is into manifestation so she suggested I look into manifesting a “specific person” and there is all of this content online about manifesting someone into your life no matter the circumstances. All you have to do is speak it into truth. Well that doesn’t mix well with OCD so I FULLY convinced myself that he and I were meant to be and all of this insane stuff. I realized it was a problem when I was talking about him to every one of my friends and sounding like a weirdo. That’s when I started NOCD. That brings me to where I’m at now. Every time I go to the gym, I wonder if he will be there. When he pops into my head, I go to his (muted) Instagram to see what I missed. I still have lingering feelings that I am so obsessed with him because we are fated to be together. This man has been the catalyst to several big things in my life: breaking up a long term relationship, becoming a gym rat, and starting NOCD. I’m even in the beginnings of a great relationship and I still can’t stop these obsessions. I just started working on it with my therapist here but I need someone to relate to! Does anyone else have these obsessions and how do you deal with feeling like a stalker creep?
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