maybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 4y
You don’t need to “counter” anything. In fact, that’s a compulsion. You’re arguing with your obsession, trying to neutralize, analyze, or suppress. Stop? You can say you have ocd because you have ocd. You have obsessions that you respond to with compulsions. That’s ocd. In regards to the content itself: just accept the uncertainty. These pieces of “evidence” in themselves aren’t enough to prove/disprove anyone’s sexuality and you know that. People of all orientations are turned on by sexual content, period. And I think everyone has kissed someone in their lives who they haven’t had any sexual chemistry with. You get turned on by women in porn: maybe that means you’re a lesbian! But.. maybe not. It’s inconclusive as a stand-alone fact. And that’s how you need to treat all of this evidence. Lean into uncertainty: “maybe, but maybe not,” and “so what?”
Faye JuneFaye June
- Date posted
- 4y
THIS. If I’d have heard this when I was at my worst with OCD. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
I just find this hard to do because I’m married to a man. And I cannot be married if I’m leading someone I love on.
stop.stop.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for this! You couldn’t have said it any better and you’re helping a lot of people with this comment :)
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 4y
@maybethistime Everyone thinks they have the one excuse or circumstance that means they actually have to have absolute certainty, even when others don’t and it’s the only way to escape the ocd cycle. So you’re married to a man. Cool! You can still be uncertain about what liking certain kinds of porn “means” and why exactly you didn’t enjoy kissing someone. None of these answers are necessary to keep being married.
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
@pureolife It’s just hard for me to be okay with that when I’m afraid of having sex with all these doubts
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 4y
@maybethistime Yeah I know. If it wasn’t hard, you wouldn’t have this obsession. Obsessions can only stick if they’re difficult. If you’re waiting for it to be easy to stop the ocd cycle, that will never happen. You have to lean into uncertainty even though it’s hard.
Faye JuneFaye June
- Date posted
- 4y
Honestly, the other person in this comment section has said almost everything you need to hear right now, but I just want to add that everything you’re experiencing is completely congruent with many others who have this theme. I personally had the same experience that were linked to the same sort of worries, (porn etc) and that felt insurmountable. It felt like irrefutable evidence that my obsessions were true, and I was doomed to a life of never knowing. That wasn’t true, and you can recover from this theme. I really don’t want to reassure as I’m aware that it is poison for OCD, but the statistics show that MOST women watch lesbian pornography. And if they’re not watching that, they’re watching gay male porn. And then there is a MINORITY who watch straight porn. With this knowledge, ask yourself - are most women who watch this type of porn bisexual? Are the women who watch gay males... gay males?? Answer that in your own time. The important thing here, like the other girl said, is leaning into the uncertainty. It’s gonna feel worse before it feels better, but the outcome is so worth it. Sending you my best wishes, you’re okay!
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
I really do want to get better. I guess I’ll start small. Every time I try, I go too big too quickly and then suddenly I’ve shot myself in the foot and I’m back to step one. I need something small to lean into first. I just need to find my something small and then start from there. It does feel insurmountable and scary and sad. I just wish other people could understand how f**king scary this is. It’s so scary sometimes I just sit alone because I feel like I can’t fight it. I’m glad people here get it. I need to make a concrete plan with my therapist.
Faye JuneFaye June
- Date posted
- 4y
@maybethistime Yeah, i know exactly what you’re saying. Starting off in the deep end is not good with ERP. You have to desensitise yourself to the tiny fears WAY before you approach the deeper things that scare you. It’s asking for failure. It’s like going to the gym and going straight to the huge weights, you’re just asking to fail! But, even the little fears stings when you bring them up, so my point still stands that it is worse before it’s better! Sending you my best wishes again. You can beat this❤️
clambclamb
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m the same way with the porn situation. Makes things extra scary. You got this.
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 17w
Sexual orientation ocd
Can sexual orientation ocd make you act on your fears and make you have same sex experiences ever and then after the experience realize that’s not what you are or want?
Mt2019
- Date posted
- 17w
Question about HOCD
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 13w
How to counter hocd (in my opinion)
Think logically. Literally. Take me as an example. I have hocd and my obsession is “what if I’m gay”. I’ve liked girls my whole life, I can still get aroused by them and I can’t get the same instinctive reaction from a guy. So I can’t be gay. Sometimes ocd will go to something else once you prove it wrong. Maybe like. “What if I’m bi” again I can only get aroused by girls. Sometimes when I’m not thinking about it I can even get aroused when sitting next to a girl or when I’m sitting next to one or even when I’m touching one in a non sexual way. Something that never happens or has happened with a guy in my life. Don’t start panicking. Just “realise” who you are and who you’ve been.
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