maybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 4y
You don’t need to “counter” anything. In fact, that’s a compulsion. You’re arguing with your obsession, trying to neutralize, analyze, or suppress. Stop? You can say you have ocd because you have ocd. You have obsessions that you respond to with compulsions. That’s ocd. In regards to the content itself: just accept the uncertainty. These pieces of “evidence” in themselves aren’t enough to prove/disprove anyone’s sexuality and you know that. People of all orientations are turned on by sexual content, period. And I think everyone has kissed someone in their lives who they haven’t had any sexual chemistry with. You get turned on by women in porn: maybe that means you’re a lesbian! But.. maybe not. It’s inconclusive as a stand-alone fact. And that’s how you need to treat all of this evidence. Lean into uncertainty: “maybe, but maybe not,” and “so what?”
Faye JuneFaye June
- Date posted
- 4y
THIS. If I’d have heard this when I was at my worst with OCD. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
I just find this hard to do because I’m married to a man. And I cannot be married if I’m leading someone I love on.
stop.stop.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for this! You couldn’t have said it any better and you’re helping a lot of people with this comment :)
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 4y
@maybethistime Everyone thinks they have the one excuse or circumstance that means they actually have to have absolute certainty, even when others don’t and it’s the only way to escape the ocd cycle. So you’re married to a man. Cool! You can still be uncertain about what liking certain kinds of porn “means” and why exactly you didn’t enjoy kissing someone. None of these answers are necessary to keep being married.
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
@pureolife It’s just hard for me to be okay with that when I’m afraid of having sex with all these doubts
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 4y
@maybethistime Yeah I know. If it wasn’t hard, you wouldn’t have this obsession. Obsessions can only stick if they’re difficult. If you’re waiting for it to be easy to stop the ocd cycle, that will never happen. You have to lean into uncertainty even though it’s hard.
Faye JuneFaye June
- Date posted
- 4y
Honestly, the other person in this comment section has said almost everything you need to hear right now, but I just want to add that everything you’re experiencing is completely congruent with many others who have this theme. I personally had the same experience that were linked to the same sort of worries, (porn etc) and that felt insurmountable. It felt like irrefutable evidence that my obsessions were true, and I was doomed to a life of never knowing. That wasn’t true, and you can recover from this theme. I really don’t want to reassure as I’m aware that it is poison for OCD, but the statistics show that MOST women watch lesbian pornography. And if they’re not watching that, they’re watching gay male porn. And then there is a MINORITY who watch straight porn. With this knowledge, ask yourself - are most women who watch this type of porn bisexual? Are the women who watch gay males... gay males?? Answer that in your own time. The important thing here, like the other girl said, is leaning into the uncertainty. It’s gonna feel worse before it feels better, but the outcome is so worth it. Sending you my best wishes, you’re okay!
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
I really do want to get better. I guess I’ll start small. Every time I try, I go too big too quickly and then suddenly I’ve shot myself in the foot and I’m back to step one. I need something small to lean into first. I just need to find my something small and then start from there. It does feel insurmountable and scary and sad. I just wish other people could understand how f**king scary this is. It’s so scary sometimes I just sit alone because I feel like I can’t fight it. I’m glad people here get it. I need to make a concrete plan with my therapist.
Faye JuneFaye June
- Date posted
- 4y
@maybethistime Yeah, i know exactly what you’re saying. Starting off in the deep end is not good with ERP. You have to desensitise yourself to the tiny fears WAY before you approach the deeper things that scare you. It’s asking for failure. It’s like going to the gym and going straight to the huge weights, you’re just asking to fail! But, even the little fears stings when you bring them up, so my point still stands that it is worse before it’s better! Sending you my best wishes again. You can beat this❤️
clambclamb
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m the same way with the porn situation. Makes things extra scary. You got this.
Related posts
Anonymousesti
- Date posted
- 24w
SOOCD
Just tired af... Anyone else feels like everything is a lie all the time and there is no "before the OCD I was boy crazy" just the OCD since forever... or denial because of that aspect? Really struggeling with the physical aspect of SOOCD : looking at a women's body and really feeling something and getting turned on and looking at a man's and not feeling anything... I just dont understand! I asked my friends and many of them said they dont feel anything looking at a man's body as well (they're straight) but also looking at a women's doesnt feel like much. I just dont understand ughhhh
Mags2002
- Date posted
- 21w
Soocd: need some response , is this even ocd?
I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real
RW95
- Date posted
- 17w
Has anyone gone through this, or currently going through it, need to know that I am not alone in this (18+)
I can't look at 18+ videos, comics, etc. I am straight, but SO-OCD tries to make me think I am not And the thoughts turns to feelings, and makes me scared, uncomfortable, sad, because I know this is not me. And when I try to imagine myself being with the woman on adult videos, and comics, my OCD gives gronal response not at the girl, and it fills me with fear, and anxiety, I always loved, and was attracted to women but I can't and it caused me to be depressed, and I keep ruminating I keep trying to focus on her, but it's so bad that I avoid those all the time now. I am wondering has anyone gone through something like this, or currently is, and wondering how you have done to combat this!
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