please don’t judge about this. i know drugs aren’t great but i’ve taken them and it’s causing me a lot of uncertainties. so if anyone has insight into drugs, without judgement, please answer! mdma doesn’t hit me and i’ve taken it twice. i’m not on anti-depressants and the pills were 100% real because everyone i was with could feel it. i was the only one who couldn’t. i feel the effects of alcohol and i used to with nicotine too (though not so much anymore). but i’ve never felt ketamine really. and i don’t feel very high on weed these days either. with mdma, the second time i took it i was shivering a lot and had a clenched jaw. i felt ill aswell. i had all the physical effects but not the mental ones. essentially i’m just scared i’m like mentally different or lack the right ‘brain chemisty’. loads of my ocd themes circulate around psychopaths and narcissists and empathy and stuff so the fact i can’t feel mdma (an empathetic drug) really distresses me. but i hope there’s just a logical explanation, like i lack the serotonin in the first place or something. or my anxiety stops it. i really hope i’m not doomed! i mean i know i have empathy but what if i’ve been wrong all this time and i don’t? really scared about all this :(

Has anyone here had a bad trip on MDMA? I’d like to try it but weed wasn’t the best thing ever for me and I worry hahah.

hey guys! it’s been awhile. i am severely anxious and depressed and have been for about a month and a half ever since i smoked weed, had a panic attack and now suffer real bad with derealization. i wanted to come on here to ask like what i can do to help myself and just make this go away man! and i know here is a safe space because we all have OCD and i think that pure fact is keeping me in the loop. other people with derealization don’t obsess over stuff as much as people with ocd. i also just think that i’ll forever be stuck in this state and it’s causing me to just like go crazy (not literally) i just don’t understand how ONE panic attack could’ve caused this. disclaimer: i’ve never had a panic attack in my life and while i was high for the first time that’s when it happened and the days and weeks following i just haven’t felt the same even though i KNOW nothing hasn’t changed it’s just so hard. i just don’t know what to do to lie get rid of this. i’ve never experienced this in my life.

I’m 20 years old and Christian.I’ve started having thoughts that one day I will be a drug addict and that I look like a drug addict.never in my life have I touched drugs or did them.i grew up in a household with people that did those things.my aunt passed away from it in 2015.my mom is set free because of making up her mind and jesus setting her free.I’ve dealt with other type of OCD thoughts.I’ve tried looking up fear of drugs and I found some people who struggled but not a whole lot like if I were to search up other OCD thoughts.every time I see someone that is struggling with drugs or is drunk it just scares me.I live in a small town so I can tell (I’m not in any way trying to assume someone else’s life but you can tell from certain people and I don’t judge them I really do feel bad for them).I’ve seen posts about people who’s face completely changed from drugs and it just terrifies me to the point where I’m going to panic.just like with harm OCD,I would see murder cases and immediately get scared that one day that would be me doing harm to someone.please tell me I’m not alone.I’m afraid of ever falling in love with someone who does do drugs,smokes or drinks because I know that who we hang around and get attached to,we will do what they do if we are not careful.hopefully this makes sense.again I’m not judging people who do them at all.I feel very bad for them because they are trying to fill a void with something that just isn’t worth it.at the same time it’s like I’m okay fearing it because it will keep from ever doing them because I know how much harm it does.I have thoughts and images of people drugging me.thoughts telling me “you look like a drug addict”.this is scaring me.some days I just want to move away where no one knows me.