please don’t judge about this. i know drugs aren’t great but i’ve taken them and it’s causing me a lot of uncertainties. so if anyone has insight into drugs, without judgement, please answer! mdma doesn’t hit me and i’ve taken it twice. i’m not on anti-depressants and the pills were 100% real because everyone i was with could feel it. i was the only one who couldn’t. i feel the effects of alcohol and i used to with nicotine too (though not so much anymore). but i’ve never felt ketamine really. and i don’t feel very high on weed these days either. with mdma, the second time i took it i was shivering a lot and had a clenched jaw. i felt ill aswell. i had all the physical effects but not the mental ones. essentially i’m just scared i’m like mentally different or lack the right ‘brain chemisty’. loads of my ocd themes circulate around psychopaths and narcissists and empathy and stuff so the fact i can’t feel mdma (an empathetic drug) really distresses me. but i hope there’s just a logical explanation, like i lack the serotonin in the first place or something. or my anxiety stops it. i really hope i’m not doomed! i mean i know i have empathy but what if i’ve been wrong all this time and i don’t? really scared about all this :(

I’ve taken MDMA before and it not really do much, other times it absolutely has worked. in hindsight it was possibly to do with the fact that my serotonin levels were so low to begin with that there’s not much for the drug to flood the brain with. It never made me question whether or not I was capable of empathy - nor do I question that now, after reading this! Maybe just try and calmly observe how ocd might be playing a role here without having to figure out what it might ‘mean’.

Of course - it’s so so hard. I’m the exact same way with my obsessions. I have no idea if that’s true or not scienfically speaking, but anecdotally, I think so. I stopped taking it after starting on clomipraminez

I haven’t taken mdma, however I did take coke and speed. Worse decision of my life. Although you think it’s helping your brain not think horrible things in the short term, in the long term it really does fck with it. If you’re not careful it can cause psychosis and that mixed with OCD sounds like hell. So please get yourself off the drugs and just stick to alcohol. I love you and I hope you get through this. Always here if you need a chat ❤️

just to clarify, i haven’t taken drugs right NOW. this is more about how i react with them in general but i’m not high as i write this