- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
That same day I told my mum, crying uncontrollably that "I think I am gay", she was shocked at first however she understood and was very compassionate even though I was incredibly uncomfortable with the whole idea, it felt strange because even though I was uttering that I was gay on my tounge, my heart didn't feel right at all, I began to come out to friends (who where also supportive) because I thought my anxiety and intrusive thoughts will reduce, it didn't, in fact, the symptoms just became worse and worse. When I was diagnosed with HOCD, my parents didn't really understand the condition but they are still incredibly supportive because my mum also has OCD however it's the usual contamination theme which most people believe is the only theme of OCD. Regarding seeing the right therapist, do your research, I've seen a couple of therapists and they seriously made my situation much worse, until I found an OCD specialist who is somewhat assisting my situation.
- Date posted
- 6y
I just want to go back to the way I was, without these worries. I don’t know how to explain my condition to my parents without them freaking out. I just really need help.
- Date posted
- 6y
No sorry, I am from Australia, it took me months upon months to find someone who understands this form of OCD, (I was really doubting I even have OCD). Yes, I am quite religious, I follow a set of morals and values which I not want to oppose, however I am also very compassionate and understanding to all peoples and the path that anyone chooses to take in life. I have been in therapy for months and I still have horrible days where my OCD convinces me I want to be Gay, I want to come out, I will always be miserable if I don't come out, I want to be sexually active with the same sex, etc. Etc. It never ends, however my symptoms have decreased, around a year ago, every single waking minute I was plagued by OCD, i thought I was going mad, so ERP really helps in decreasing the thoughts, It's exhausting.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know how you feel, I feel the exact the same way and I'm sure anyone who has this debilitating disorder feels the same. Just read some books on OCD and try implementing the strategies, alot of online resources.
- Date posted
- 6y
I was terrified to go to a therapist for this very reason. People who are not deeply familiar with OCD or recognizing it in their patient can do some serious damage.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much! I think I’m going to reach out to him. How are you finding his treatment? How quickly did you start to feel better?
- Date posted
- 6y
This is what I’m scared of!!! How do I know that a therapist will believe me or understand me? How did your parents react? Did they help and support you?
- Date posted
- 6y
Are you in the UK? And do you mind me asking, are you religious? I want to tell my parents but I’m not sure they’ll understand straight away... I don’t feel the need to ‘come out’ because I don’t see that helping my situation, as they may jump to conclusions. I’m really struggling to find therapists in the UK who do ERP. I am just so panicked right now.
- Date posted
- 6y
Find an OCD therapist who does therapy via Skype if there is not one in your area. https://www.cognitivebehavioralcenter.com
- Date posted
- 6y
Have you/anyone else used this service?
- Date posted
- 6y
Was it good? Did they believe you
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes, I see an OCD specialist at the link I posted. This is the clinic of Dr. Steven Phillipson who is a world renowned OCD therapist. There are several OCD clinics that offer online therapy that I would trust. There is this one out of NYC, but there are also ones in LA and Louisville.
- Date posted
- 5y
I worked with his clinic. Horrible experience. I wish I could have afforded to work with hi and but the clinicians under him are lousy.
- Date posted
- 6y
Most don’t take insurance, but have a tiered model where you what you pay is based on the experience level of the therapist, but they are all OCD experts and you can apply for out of network reimbursement with your insurance.
- Date posted
- 6y
To further answer your question, yes they believe you and have such in depth experience with OCD that your spikes themes will require very little explanation because they will have probably treated the same issue many time before....no matter how unique you think your theme is.
- Date posted
- 6y
I found it was helpful to just be able to talk to someone who completely understood. So there is somewhat of an immediate relief to an extent, but treatment takes a long time and a lot depends on how much work you put in between sessions. Good luck, I hope it goes well for you!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you again. How long have you been in therapy with him (if you don’t mind me asking)?
- Date posted
- 6y
I did about 3 months of individual therapy, then I took a break for a few months and I am currently in my 4th month of group therapy.
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t see Dr. Phillipson (he is like $450 per session with a huge waiting list). I see a post doctoral extern at the center. Everyone there is supervised and trained by him though. You just choose the experience level of therapist by what you can afford.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m scared to ask...but how much was each of your sessions? I really can’t afford expensive treatment...
- Date posted
- 6y
$110 but that was awhile back. It goes down as low as $50 I think.
- Date posted
- 6y
What made you go for the $110 therapist as oppose to the $50 one?
- Date posted
- 6y
Just felt more comfortable with someone with more education. I have a doctorate, so I kind of felt like I wanted someone of similar education level to me, that’s probably just my own issues coming through though! I honestly think that anyone Dr. Phillipson has working for him will be great and anyone of them would be a better option than going in person to a local therapist who doesn’t understand OCD at all!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi all, I deal with HOCD and been seeing a therapist for about 3.5 months. It has definitely got better but still affects me very much. Was wondering there is anyone out there who has dealt with HOCD as well and has recovered. I would love to message or even chat just see how your experience was and hear what was beneficial to you.
- Date posted
- 18w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
- Students with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 13w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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