- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That same day I told my mum, crying uncontrollably that "I think I am gay", she was shocked at first however she understood and was very compassionate even though I was incredibly uncomfortable with the whole idea, it felt strange because even though I was uttering that I was gay on my tounge, my heart didn't feel right at all, I began to come out to friends (who where also supportive) because I thought my anxiety and intrusive thoughts will reduce, it didn't, in fact, the symptoms just became worse and worse. When I was diagnosed with HOCD, my parents didn't really understand the condition but they are still incredibly supportive because my mum also has OCD however it's the usual contamination theme which most people believe is the only theme of OCD. Regarding seeing the right therapist, do your research, I've seen a couple of therapists and they seriously made my situation much worse, until I found an OCD specialist who is somewhat assisting my situation.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I just want to go back to the way I was, without these worries. I don’t know how to explain my condition to my parents without them freaking out. I just really need help.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
No sorry, I am from Australia, it took me months upon months to find someone who understands this form of OCD, (I was really doubting I even have OCD). Yes, I am quite religious, I follow a set of morals and values which I not want to oppose, however I am also very compassionate and understanding to all peoples and the path that anyone chooses to take in life. I have been in therapy for months and I still have horrible days where my OCD convinces me I want to be Gay, I want to come out, I will always be miserable if I don't come out, I want to be sexually active with the same sex, etc. Etc. It never ends, however my symptoms have decreased, around a year ago, every single waking minute I was plagued by OCD, i thought I was going mad, so ERP really helps in decreasing the thoughts, It's exhausting.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I know how you feel, I feel the exact the same way and I'm sure anyone who has this debilitating disorder feels the same. Just read some books on OCD and try implementing the strategies, alot of online resources.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I was terrified to go to a therapist for this very reason. People who are not deeply familiar with OCD or recognizing it in their patient can do some serious damage.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you so much! I think I’m going to reach out to him. How are you finding his treatment? How quickly did you start to feel better?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
This is what I’m scared of!!! How do I know that a therapist will believe me or understand me? How did your parents react? Did they help and support you?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Are you in the UK? And do you mind me asking, are you religious? I want to tell my parents but I’m not sure they’ll understand straight away... I don’t feel the need to ‘come out’ because I don’t see that helping my situation, as they may jump to conclusions. I’m really struggling to find therapists in the UK who do ERP. I am just so panicked right now.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Find an OCD therapist who does therapy via Skype if there is not one in your area. https://www.cognitivebehavioralcenter.com
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Have you/anyone else used this service?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Was it good? Did they believe you
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes, I see an OCD specialist at the link I posted. This is the clinic of Dr. Steven Phillipson who is a world renowned OCD therapist. There are several OCD clinics that offer online therapy that I would trust. There is this one out of NYC, but there are also ones in LA and Louisville.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I worked with his clinic. Horrible experience. I wish I could have afforded to work with hi and but the clinicians under him are lousy.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Most don’t take insurance, but have a tiered model where you what you pay is based on the experience level of the therapist, but they are all OCD experts and you can apply for out of network reimbursement with your insurance.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
To further answer your question, yes they believe you and have such in depth experience with OCD that your spikes themes will require very little explanation because they will have probably treated the same issue many time before....no matter how unique you think your theme is.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I found it was helpful to just be able to talk to someone who completely understood. So there is somewhat of an immediate relief to an extent, but treatment takes a long time and a lot depends on how much work you put in between sessions. Good luck, I hope it goes well for you!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you again. How long have you been in therapy with him (if you don’t mind me asking)?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I did about 3 months of individual therapy, then I took a break for a few months and I am currently in my 4th month of group therapy.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I don’t see Dr. Phillipson (he is like $450 per session with a huge waiting list). I see a post doctoral extern at the center. Everyone there is supervised and trained by him though. You just choose the experience level of therapist by what you can afford.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m scared to ask...but how much was each of your sessions? I really can’t afford expensive treatment...
- Date posted
- 6y ago
$110 but that was awhile back. It goes down as low as $50 I think.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
What made you go for the $110 therapist as oppose to the $50 one?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Just felt more comfortable with someone with more education. I have a doctorate, so I kind of felt like I wanted someone of similar education level to me, that’s probably just my own issues coming through though! I honestly think that anyone Dr. Phillipson has working for him will be great and anyone of them would be a better option than going in person to a local therapist who doesn’t understand OCD at all!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
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