Feeling Unworthy. I've talked a bit about how my OCD makes me look up threads online from people who are very anti religious and against believing in things like a Biblical creation story etc. It makes me feel unworthy to have a life and enjoy things knowing some people are so staunchly against some of what I believe and say to teach it is brainwashing kids etc. It's hard for my brain to get over how anti religion these people are and to just let it go as their beliefs and focus on my own.

It's not even I need them to join my faith or anything like that. It's just reading how negative they are towards other faiths gets to me yet continuing to read them is the big compulsion I'm struggling with atm.

And also the feeling of I don't deserve nice things for myself because some people find my faith and its existence awful. I know that's a weird conclusion to come to but my anxiety is awful about weird conclusions

That's what I'm trying to do. But I'm still in the early stages so the compulsions are still really strong and my self image and worry about what these people would think of my beliefs is still brutal

@Darren111 Well, maybe an exposure would be to speak with someone who doesn't practice your faith about their opinion on it- preferably start with someone you know won't get combative.

@LMB034 That's the dumb thing. I have friends who don't believe or have different faiths in my life who are totally fine with me. But my brain is so hooked on what random strangers on the internet think.

@Darren111 There's always going to be a random stranger on the internet who will think of ways to hate on you or others. Glad to see you can identify where your OCD thoughts are deviating from logic as that's a step towards the thought going away. Give yourself time and the compulsions and fear will pass. Also, you should probably know that I totally don't believe in creation, but wish you nothing but the best- so there's one stranger on the internet you don't have to worry about :p

@LMB034 Thank you. I realize it's mostly coming from people who hold science as THE bastion of society so rejecting evolution is rejecting science and therefore a threat to the good of society. To a degree I'm fine with them thinking that but yeah like I said it's the extreme negativity that gets me how we're brainwashing kids by teaching it or teaching them to pray, etc. I just wish my brain was content with acknowledging it as their opinion and moving on but nope it wants to use all sorts of search terms and their variants to try and see every possible opinion on the internet.

@Darren111 Eventually you will be content with that fact. It'll take time. Like you said, you're in the beginning stages of working on this so don't be too down if you're not progressing the way you think you should be. Try to call it quits on searching for tonight please and get some sleep :)

@LMB034 It's still somewhat early for me but yeah my goal is to be done with it for tonight and hopefully minimally tomorrow