Every single waking moment is filled with sexually intrusive images. I almost had an orgasm out of pure fear. Idk what to do anymore...

Remember that the only reason why OCD intrusive thoughts keep coming back is your reaction towards them. The more you try to push them away, the more stronger they get and come right back hitting you like a truck. Fear is OCD's food. The more afraid you get, the more you feed it. It's like a parasite living inside your mind, feeding off of your fear and anxiety. The only way you can get rid of these intrusive thoughts is by not engaging with them at all. Do not react to them. Just ignore them and let them pass right through you and flow away. Whenever they pop up in your mind remember not be anxious. They're just thoughts after all... Breathe. Distract yourself. I know it's very hard to ignore OCD thoughts but you cannot feed them at any cost. Just let them flow away. I know you can do this stay strong ✊✊

Hey there. Please be aware that there are so many people across the planet who know exactly what you’re experiencing and have experienced it themselves - myself included. That’s just the nature of the obsessions, unfortunately. Having experienced this sort of theme myself, along with others, feeling a sense of arousal (groinal as many call it) is just a byproduct of the obsession. It feels so scary and ‘confirming’ & I don’t wanna be a reassurance giver, but know that this is not a reflection of true, desire driven arousal, it is just not. For instance, I had a theme for a while about being autistic. I don’t have any traits of autism, but after reading in a magazine that ‘autistic women tend to not know they’re autistic’, for whatever reason, my OCD was triggered - I was like... ‘what if I have autism? What if I just don’t know?’ It was completely irrational, yet I could not shake it. I was doing all the OCD things like searching online about every single autistic trait there possibly was, virtually all of which I have not experienced at any point during my life. I’ve always been pretty extraverted and have little trouble speaking to people, but since reading that autistic individuals struggle with small talk, in situations where i was engaging in small talk, I’d find my OCD would kick in and I’d suddenly struggle to get words out properly and would stumble over my words. The first time this happened, after the conversation was over, I actually started having a panic attack. And after that started, and after reading that autistic people tend to have sensory processing issues, which I have never experienced, I started noticing myself thinking about it, and then suddenly I became hyper aware of all the sounds around me. It was always: intrusive thoughts about autism - symptom. Then, after a couple weeks of struggling, I explained to my parents that I needed to get help (I’m 17). I visited a private OCD clinic (pre-covid) and explained everything I was experiencing, my psychologist (who was amazing) heard me, and gave me a rigourous 3 session autism examination. The results (unsuprisingly) came back saying ‘ASD spectrum disorder not detected’ - that whole time, after developing the OCD obsession, I had actually been having symptoms of autism. OCD lies. If it didn’t feel real, then millions wouldn’t be crippled by it. That was very wordy, I apologise, but hopefully this helped you a little bit. ERP saved my life, so please look into it if you haven’t already :)