So yesterday I had an unintended exposure which left me pretty uncomfortable. But today, I feel really happy. I've been smiling a lot more and I don't exactly know why. But, I'm glad I can be able to share this happiness with my family and friends. Maybe it's because my friend told me she could finally get the therapy she needed. Maybe it's because my best friend is there for me and will always support me. Maybe it's because of the journaling I've been doing, like right now. I'm sorry to anyone that might be annoyed by me talking about myself a lot in this post, but sometimes, I just like to journal here, you know? It helps me. My current problems are my OCD latches onto something that happened in 2018 when I was 16/17 and of course my addiction to adult content for about 8 years. It all started when I was 11. I'm working on stopping it right now and so far I'm 13 whole days clean. I haven't peeked at anything, and I haven't even gone on Instagram. I'm better off not being on any platforms that are triggering for my mental health in these conditions. I'm grateful that I at least know where I want to be at the end of all this: I'd like to be worry free, have my brain be 100% rewired, and pretty much get the old me back. True happiness from doing the simplest of things. True confidence and feelings of strength in order to get through the day. Strong natural and not forced attractions of the opposite gender, and pretty much an overall enjoyment of life. I don't want these past events to get to me and I don't think I should. Maybe I'm beating myself up over it, and I can give myself breathing room. I've tried this, and I seem to be much happier than usual. I'm going to take small steps to enjoy my day. I always tell myself: One day at a time. Day by day goals can help me get through things long term. I hope everyone else is well. I hope everyone is getting the help they deserve. I hope everyone has courage and the willpower to get through their days. I wish everyone a good day, a good week. Heck, a good month. :)