- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I visited a psychiatrist in 2018 that would misdiagnose me with a pretty serious condition, 3 years later and I still have an obsessive fear that she might be right, even though 3 other psychiatrists disagreed with her, and I frankly don't show any symptoms. A normal person would move on but here I am lol. Though in a way I'm glad this happened, I hope I can get over it one day in the future and grow as a person.
- Date posted
- 4y
Looking at the mistakes in a sort of positive way can be helpful just so that you can grow from them. I respect that. :) That's not easy to do
- Date posted
- 4y
I can't personally relate to your struggles with pornography but I hope you can completely move on. This quote describes the attitude I wish to have towards my past: "Don't demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well." - Epictetus idk why I'm sharing this lol but I hope it comforts you somehow as it does me. wish you well!
- Date posted
- 4y
@woeisme I am trying my best. I've been using an app to keep track of how long I can get away from such content. So far I've been 13 days straight. Had a relapse Monday but it doesn't hurt to start all over. I guess I can look at my impulsive acts in the past and say to myself "Oh, I don't want to go through that again" I'm not entirely sure what that quote means but thanks a lot for helping. It means a lot.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 13 days is an accomplishment! These days I'm trying to develop the habit of tracking my calories cause I think I'm undereating, I'm 5 days in. Good luck to the both of us.. Oh it means something along the lines of accepting the past and focusing on what's in your control - nvm haha
- Date posted
- 4y
@woeisme Oh, I get it now. Thanks for clearing that up. Yeah, keeping track of things feels nice for a change. I've been journaling, doing my daily routines through the app, visualizing, controlling thoughts, and definitely the urges. I have like, none now lol. This is what I've longed for to be honest. To not even feel sexual feelings whatsoever. Thanks again!
- Date posted
- 4y
If I could go back and redo something it would be to not make the same mistakes I have made in the past that I constantly beat myself up over every single day. That and pornography too. I wish I never discovered it. I wish I could of done a lot of things differently
- Date posted
- 4y
I guess we have that in common. I feel like if I hadn't discovered pornography, I wouldn't even have ocd. I don't think you should beat yourself up everyday about the past though. You seen like a really nice person.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 I know I feel the exact same way. It’s something I’ve always done. I’ve always been so hard on myself I need to learn to be more patient and kind to myself. Thank you so much you too!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Staystrong❤ Yeah, it's really hard, but most times OCD does that to you. I'm sure you've helped me out in the past on here because you seen like a familiar name. I wish you the best, ma'am. Stay strong! I believe in you.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Yes we have come across each other a lot. You have always been so nice and helpful so thank you very much for that. This community is great and I wish the best for everyone who is struggling. Stay strong!
- Date posted
- 4y
I wish I didn’t wait too long to put my cat to sleep. I was delirious in thinking she could get better. It was very clear that it was her time (she couldn’t walk, neurologically something was wrong, her fur was matted, couldn’t eat or groom, etc). My cat passed away at home but in a way where she was suffering. If I could change something, I wish I didn’t make her suffer. Sorry not the most happy thing
- Date posted
- 4y
I don't think you should feel bad about this. Your cat sounds lovely and she's in a better place now. You did all that you could to look after her and you just didn't want to see her go. Grief is really hard though, so accept those feelings. ♥️
- Date posted
- 4y
I wish I would have quit my horrible job that cause the stress that sent me into a spiral leading to the discovery of the OCD
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- False Memory OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Date posted
- 22w
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 21w
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
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