I'm not diagnosed with anything and this isn't OCD related I just want to rant. So last year where I live we werent going to school from march until September because of COVID. Around September me and my classmates started going because we had to write our postponed exams in October. I remember around August I realised I don't really have a personality or any individual thoughts and that's when I started becoming really aware of the fact that I don't contribute much to conversations or my friendships. When I would see my friends in person if just get quiet and wouldn't be able to talk to them cause id keep thinking "am I being interesting, I have nothing to say, they probably think I'm boring". I also realised I don't actually know anything which is also why I can't contribute to anything. I'm not interested in YouTube videos or tiktoks, I can't really talk about shows that I like in person, j feel like I have no interests or formed opinions on things so I have nothing to talk about. I can only talk to people over text and that's not much. It's gotten worse now to the point where during a conversation I won't be concentrating ill just be thinking about how interesting and fun my friends are and I have nothing to contribute. I overthink evry single thing I say and every single interaction I have and it doesn't stop. And I also constantly have thoughts about this, what mental illness I might have, how I might not have ocd, ocd like intrusive thoughts,etc. I don't really know what this is but I want to make it stop. I want to be able to start enjoying life and being normal. I want to stop worrying about everything. Again I'm not diagnosed with anything.