Anyone struggle with real event ocd? I can’t stop thinking about things that have happened in the past and it is ruining my life

Yep this is my issue

@Justmesadly Well there's two things I keep in mind. Is there someone you can apologize to? It might be worth doing but if for whatever reason you can't, then you just have to focus on what lesson you learned from the situation, try to move on, and practice some compassion towards yourself. Try to see what kinda mindset you were in when whatever it was happened, try to understand you would of done better if you knew what you know now about your behavior and then do your best not to focus on the thoughts. You aren't guaranteed to get rid of these bad memories all together but they don't have to destroy your entire life.

@PRYM No you should never go out of your way to speak to the person involved in the real events ! I have already been told by my therapist to never do this ! And I know I would have never done anything like this on purpose to hurt someone nor did I probably know what I was doing but I still did it and I can’t live with that fact

@Justmesadly Huh good to know. Just something I got wrong I guess. But I know what you mean about feeling like you can't live with it. I feel the same way A LOT. It sucks.

@PRYM But when I think about it in my head , I know enough that people would be so mad at me for committing suicide for playing inappropriate 2 times as a child and hurting my friend. I THINK most people would be like really?! Who cares but then I see post like we need to kill all child molesters and I feel suicidal again

@Justmesadly Doesn't sound like you intended to harm them or were even old enough to understand it as harmful since you were a kid yourself.

@PRYM Yes this is what my therapist has told me but I still can’t move past... tomorrow I’ll try more erp

@Justmesadly I get what you mean. It's hard to see yourself as anything else other than some dirty sinner when you've convinced yourself you did something evil. I've had similar talks with my therapist. After awhile I start feeling stupid for getting stuck on things just a few weeks ago she helped me get over but then something new triggers me and I fall back into the same cycle. Getting better at reducing how long those cycles last though

@PRYM Yay that’s a win! I am definitely getting better at ruminating in shorter cycles but I just want to successfully do erp enough to let the thoughts flow by without having to reach out every time

@Justmesadly Yeah that's the goal. Definitely rough to get there though.

@PRYM Extremely