Honestly it seems so much easier to just die then deal with childhood mistakes and now the OCD that is attached to it. I don’t deserve to live

I need someone to talk to. I don’t want to live , i don’t deserve it

@Justmesadly Look im here for you even though we’re strangers I’m not gonna let you just end your life BECAUSE OF OCDDD it meansss nothingggg ocd controled our thoughts buttt won’t control our death as well please just put yourself first and seek help and therapy and we’re all by your side ❤️

@fatiima I am in therapy. That doesn’t take away the horribleness of what I did as a child

@Justmesadly We all make mistakes we’re now in the present you cannot change what happened in the past but you can change your future work on yourself now you’re a different person you should move on and let go of all the past

@fatiima I know I’m not who I was as an 6-9 year old (event) as well as even 16. But I still can’t live with myself

@fatiima And I think it’s easy to say that about ourselves but other people wouldn’t say that, I would be deemed to hell but the whole world

@Justmesadly Are you gonna let others define who you are!!! They don’t know what you’re going through they don’t know anything, what you thinking of yourself reflects what others think of you don’t let them end you ! You deserve all the best no one have the right to judge you for your past and in general no one have the right to judge you

@fatiima Unfortunately yes I do let people define me. And I also worry I will confess this to every guy I date and everytime they will break up with me for being the shittiest person ever

@Justmesadly They don’t hava to know they’ll be with the present you not the old you and if they insisted to know it’s okay you changed they don’t have the right to judge your past and if the person really loves you he/she would stay with you no matter what he’ll love you for you and your guilt feeling by itself is a sign of change. Start a new beginning and let the past behind

@fatiima Are you a mom? You’re so kind.

@Justmesadly No 😂😂😂 im still 19 and i also suffer from ocd and i know how hard it is we should help each other and ease things up for each other otherwise we’ll all end up in a society that doesn’t understand us ❤️

@fatiima Oh gosh you’re younger than me yet are giving me mom advice! Yes I also find that hard bc I know if I tell someone on this app about my real event they are understanding and don’t think I’m terrible but if I were to tell a friend in real life I’d be disowned and never spoken to again! So I feel like it’s almost false hope

@Justmesadly IT’S THEIR LOSS, you’re a new person and that’s what matters ❤️

@fatiima I hope but I don’t want to be lonely forever

@Justmesadly You’re not lonely we’re here for you ❤️ umm idk if you’d like to join a gc on snapchat for people with ocd this my username (fatima12375) and if not you can always talk to me about anything you want ❤️

@fatiima I don’t use Snapchat! But I appreciate that

@Justmesadly Haha it’s okay ❤️

I wish mine was false

@Justmesadly Ocd does that, it makes you wish you had a different theme because it seems much easier. I wiiiish i knew if my false memory happened or not, that uncertainty is unbearable. Have you been to the nocd group sessions? I recommend them <3

@jen Yeah really! I haven’t been to one I miss it every time because I forget! I do have a therapist though

@Justmesadly I definitely recommend you give it a shot one day, its such a lovely community especially when you know we are all going through the same thing. The damn doubting disease! Have you spoken to your therapist about the real event?

@jen Yeah we have. I’m just really spiking right now because I had a dream about it and I woke up I remembered a detail about the event that made me a much worse person for it all.