I’ve felt like crying the last 2 days because of things that have happened in the past. I’m not sure if it’s my ocd that keeps reminding me or just part of the healing process as it happened 10 yrs ago but I found out in February of 2020. I want to be past it but it still hurts sometimes.

Awe thanks for your response . The thing is the reminder is my wife as she cheated on me when we were engaged and I just found out last February. We have been married for 10 yrs and our marriage has been good. It’s just the hurt from it and I know time helps heal but I still get sad thinking about it or if a song or tv show trigger the thoughts. I’ve forgiven her and I am in love with her. Worst pain I’ve ever felt for sure. It’s all a process and I’m just ready to be past it and it doesn’t help that I have harm ocd because it will tell me that I want to hurt her for what she did but I don’t and that sucks as well. This has just been a tough season of my life. Thanks for listening

@Dre83 I am so sorry. That pain can be unforgettable unfortunately. But for you, I see that it’s really bothering you and interrupting your days. It’s okay to feel hurt still and I understand you want this to be in the past. You’ll get there. It takes time. Push past those negative thoughts as best as you can. I know it’s hard, I understand. But I let things get too far in my thoughts and I was so low for so long because of it. You should try some meditation. :) I really hope that it helps. Stay safe.

@novemberwest Did you deal with cheating too? Yeah I do meditation and I enjoy it. I haven’t done it in a few days need to get back into my routine.

@Dre83 My dad cheated on my mom a lot, and it hurt brother and I, so I understand a little bit. I have been once but it wasn’t a great relationship and to me it felt like a relief because I could finally leave. I’m glad you enjoy meditation, I used to think it was dumb and a waste of time until I did it for a couple of weeks. It is really surprising how helpful it is. I agree, you should get back into the routine. I bet it would help :)

@novemberwest Awe I’m sorry to hear that. My aunt says it gets better with time as she has been through it. I’ve gotten better and I’m definitely not where I once was with it but not where I wanna be. Then throw ocd in the mix and it’s just double whammy. I was freaking out when I started having harm thoughts and it was three months after she told me what happened and I was like do I wanna hurt my wife because of this. It’s funny how my ocder made me think that I wanted to hurt her because of that like why did it make that connection. I didn’t even think about harming her when I found out shit is just a tangled mess. I could tell my whole story it’s crazy.

@Dre83 I understand. Lots of people have harm OCD. It’ll eventually get better. As long as you can separate your harm OCD thoughts to your real thoughts, there should be no worry about it :) have you talked to your wife about your OCD and how it’s affecting you?

@novemberwest Oh yeah I’ve been very upfront. I don’t tell her every crazy thought that ocd produces but she is well aware of it. She understands as she deals with clinical depression.

@novemberwest And yeah anything that is related to harm I know it’s not me even though I do question it sometimes. Like I say to myself if I say I don’t like these thoughts does it really mean I don’t like them cause anyone can say they don’t like something. Gosh

@Dre83 I understand. I’m sorry and I hope everything works out for you. And I hope you both continue to do well. :) you’ll get through this, you both will.

@novemberwest Thanks I really appreciate it just had a couple bad moments but we will prevail. I wish we all lived close so we could be friends lol I know that’s corny but I feel like we all would be great friends

@Dre83 It would be! We all understand each other.

@novemberwest Exactly

Yeah I feel like it is too because I don’t wanna think about it that’s for sure. My therapist told me it’s my ocd but I’m like fuck I don’t wanna live like this for the rest of my life. And yeah ruminating on it sucks too. Oh man life can be hard that’s for sure.

@Dre83 So hard

@Justmesadly Yeah, I’m 37 and this all started when I was 36 just smacked me in the dam face. Like I’m dealing with a few things and why couldn’t it just be one thing like I feel like it would be easier.

@Dre83 Yeah almost 25 and this started feb 2020. It is like a smack in the face after starting a really shitty job

@Justmesadly I’m sorry 😣

@Dre83 No worry just my fate

@Justmesadly That’s ok you can change jobs as that’s in your control

@Dre83 I got fired after a year so I moved and got a new job

@Justmesadly Awesome that you had a chance to move.