does anybody else here with real event ocd feel like their event is so much worse than everyone else’s 😔

Well I heard someone say something like even Hitler could of gotten real event OCD if he got obsessed over his misdeeds. The good part of it, is it means you have a strong will not to repeat the mistake or otherwise you wouldn't be obsessed.

You're welcome! And yeah it's a miserable feeling. Thankfully I talk to my therapist a lot about it. But it only does so much. So I do things on my own to try to ease the memories.

Instead of obsessing over something that hasn't happened, it's an obsession over something that did happen. Most people might feel guilty about something bad they did but they can usually move on. Someone with real event ocd is tormented by it and cannot move on. They basically torture themselves.

@tired Me too. It's miserable. I've made a lot of stupid mistakes over my life and now they just torment me.

@tired Yeah I have very similar feelings. That I don't deserve anything because of it. Sometimes I won't eat or even drink water. But I try to tell myself if I don't take care of myself it could easily put me in a bad mental place where something else bad could happen. So taking care of myself is actually in the interest of making better decisions. Healthy body, healthy mind.

@tired Yeah I've always had a problem of self harming to punish myself. Thankfully I've gotten a lot better about it but I still struggle. I don't deal well with guilt that's for sure. My therapist tells me I have a very overly active moral compass and that I'm kinda "too smart for my own good" in the sense that I really analyze and pick apart all my life choices and probably focus on things more than most people would. Plus I have a lot of health issues so I'm home a lot so I have a lot of free time to well...think haha.

@tired Oh dude I do the same too! Either binge eat or starve. No in-between lol. And yeah I keep reminding myself the enormous anxiety is a sign I've changed for the better but my brain is like NO, YOU'RE TRICKING YOURSELF, YOURE A TICKING BOMB AND YOU CAN ONLY STOP IT BY THINKING ABOUT THIS FORVER. I'm trying to just accept uncertainty but it's so hard. Literally feels like fingernails down a chalkboard. I think it's hard for me because almost any other problem I've had in life I approach by analyzing and picking it apart to its smallest part but with these kinda thoughts, I think I've picked it apart to the most fundamental part and then there's ten more things that come up then I'm starting all over again.