Rumination is fucking horrible. A month ago I had a gummy that had THC in it. I’m HIGHLY sensitive to thc. But it had cbd in it so I thought I would be ok. Well I was also on medication that you can’t take cbd with. It’s a whole thing about liver enzymes whatever. You couldn’t even drink grapefruit juice on it. Anyway, I took one. Had the worst body high. Had a panic attack. Thought I was going into psychosis. It was Horrible. It really fucked me up and just added to my ocd fear. That was almost a month ago. I think about the feeling of it all the time. It makes me feel scared as I relive the whole memory. But I keep ruminating on it. Even when I try not to think about it. My ocd will do shit like remember this? Remember how shitty it made you feel? What if you’re high like that right now? (Of course it’s not true it’s just distressing to even think about it) what if you just lose your mind? What if you go crazy? It doesn’t help either that I’m having panic attacks too. I’m beginning to think I’m going to have to go back on an SSRI. I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this on my own. I didn’t learn enough skills last time to control my ocd. I can’t let it take over my life but I’m also terrified of medication right now. Maybe I should start buspar or zoloft...idk but I’m not living and I’m tired of feeling horrible. It’s making me sad and scared. My ocd keeps coming up with different things to keep me trapped in the panic. I hate feeling like this :(

You take Levium and herbalogic

Wow, this happened to me in February and now I’m dealing with harm OCD. My therapist is giving me antipsychotics to avoid psychosis. But it’s been a month so I feel it can’t be the marijuana anymore.

@Devem You smoked weed and had the same reaction?

I developed harm ocd after this last gummy. But each time I’ve gotten high on edibles or dabs I freak out every time. I never had it bother me this bad before this past one tho. I will never touch weed again. It’s not for me apparently.

@jljbchs I’ve had almost every subtype but harm I’m just scared I’m going to harm myself or lose control I hate it

@jljbchs Yeah I’m totally against weed now. I don’t know why I smoked when I hadn’t done it in like 12 years or so. And yes harm ocd is bad I hate it

@Devem I should have went to the hospital that night. Shit was crazy and fucking scary gosh I hate that I did that and put myself in that situation. Don’t know how I had the where with all to not act on the harm thoughts.

@Dre83 Yeah, I smoked for 6 months in 2020.. and three times in 2021. The last time I smoked I had the same vision you did but it was aimed at my son. Ever since then I’m constantly fighting thoughts. I’ll never smoke again.

@Devem Me either man. I even got my wife to quite who was a long time user and suffers from depression and anxiety. Sorry to hear you had to go through that man. I understand your struggle

@Devem I think the biggest punch in the stomach is how people use it so much more than we ever had and it’s ok for them. But just as it seems to have started with the MJ maybe it’ll go away. I can only dream

Nice. Have you taken it without taking medication

Heck yeah gonna give it a shot then. Does it just help with your anxiety or with lessening the thoughts too

@Dre83 I want to say both, but I think it was more the anxiety surrounding the thoughts so I can disregard and move on. Or do exposures on purpose without melting down and ruminating for 3 hours. I have my moments, but I'm a completely different person from like 2 months ago. I also have Harm OCD and it loves to zero in on my kids. I was so stressed and scared I was eating nothing but Ensure shakes. I definitely recommend trying it.

@CB6236 Ok thanks for your insight. Where did you learn of this because I have been trying to find something natural for awhile

@CB6236 Wow, I’ll have to try the supplements. Having Harm OCD is just ridiculous. I want to believe us who used weed wil go back to being normal after some period of time.

@Dre83 It popped up in my Facebook feed after I googled natural anxiety supplements. After reading reviews and the comment threads I was like why not? It comes in a liquid form too. And you can take up to three doses a day I believe.

@Devem Yes it's a horrible theme. You will go back to normal...or at least close to it! I have zillion resources I use regularly. Ali Greymond on YouTube Jeffery Schwartz books - Brain Lock and You Are Not Your Brain The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle if spirituality is your thing It sounds cheesy as hell, but a mindfulness meditation and practice makes a big difference.

@CB6236 I’m going to use these resources! How do we all become friends? We could really help each other

@Devem Good, try them all! I'm not sure...there should be a social community somewhere maybe? Made of Millions is a great YouTube channel too, and pretty much any NOCD live Q and A, especially those with Dr. McGrath. Not to offer reassurances, but he just said last night that he's never, in 21 years of therapy, had a patient act on harm thoughts...nor does he know a therapist who has had a patient act on harm thoughts. So, hopefully that helps you sleep tonight!

It doesn’t help quite the ocd thoughts?

My ocd flare up right now is a result of my anxiety. So anything to calm the anxiety so I can get a hold of my ocd. I remember trying buspar once paired with Wellbutrin last summer. I took it for a couple of days and I felt numb which I realize now was probably just calm. Something I’m not used to if I’m in an ocd flare up/chronic anxiety flare up. I’m so desperate I’m taking my first 5mg dose tonight.

@Dre83 Honestly because it's for general anxiety disorder it helps quiet anxious thoughts. I'd say what helps the ocd thoughts for me is the medication called Lamictal. And when im on that im way less irritable. I take the two together everyday and then have .25 alprolazam as needed for emergency panic attacks and mirtazapine for sleep.

Have you gotten better?

The cbd low thc I couldn’t even handle this last time. I’m guessing it’s the medication I was on that exasperated the symptoms. But weed in general I could never handle before that either

@jljbchs Yeah I couldn't either.

@Devem My mental illness never really goes away, but the symptoms are way easier to manage ever since I quit smoking/ using recreational drugs. I'm on prescribed medication and have a therapist and I do feel like life's gotten better.

@whatadooo That’s wonderful to hear. I guess I have a lot to look forward to as well as live for