I’ve struggled with severe OCD since I was 4 years old. I was the most severe case my well known psychiatrist has ever seen. I currently just found out that I am pregnant and that just sent me for a whirlwind. Me and my husband decided to start trying because I felt like I was in a good place to do so. Well I was definitely wrong. I was in the process of trying to decrease my Seroquel to try and make it healthier for the baby when I did end up getting pregnant. But unfortunately my plan to decrease my Seroquel back fired. I also came off my Klonopin which I’ve been on for ten years. This was also in attempt to make it safer for a baby. Needless to say things didn’t go well and I ended up going through withdrawals and losing 14 pounds in one week. I ended up experiencing some other traumatic events and I still am trying to recover. As I’m sure everyone on here knows, people with OCD do not do well with change. I feel like this is the biggest change in my life that’ll I’ll ever experience. I always was worried that I wouldn’t be able to have kids but I was confident that I could do it at this time in my life. I was definitely not prepared. I currently have two therapy appointments a week and am on quite a bit of meds, which I always have been. I currently am on 700mg of Seroquel, 200mg of Zoloft, 200mg of Lamictal, and 30mg twice a day of Buspar. As I continue to re-engage in my therapy sessions, I am learning CBT techniques that I thought would never help but I was mistaken. I’ve been trying to practice them because for so long I didn’t have any coping mechanism techniques. I always told the thoughts no and to go away but research shows and from personal experience, that it just amplifies them. I used to do so many compulsions such as cleaning, counting, making sure everything was even, you name it. But I’ve recently learned that conducting the compulsion only gives you temporary relief. And it in fact makes the cycle more vicious. I know it’s easier said than done to not do a compulsion Trust me I get it. With being pregnant my hormones and mood are every where. The Seroquel is a mood medication but acts like glue and helps amplify the other medications I’m on. This time of year it’s always hard for me and I feel so hopeless and down in the dumps. I just wanted to share my current situation and experience to this huge life change. As I read all these other posts I just start to cry because so many people out there including myself suffer from this beast of an illness. It’s not fair. No one did anything to deserve this mental illness. But I just want to tell everyone to not give up because things will get better I promise. It’s so easy for me to push my own problems away to help others but truth is I am struggling. I just hope and pray that God brings me peace and joy and the strength and courage to continue to fight and conquer this illness. All the best❤️