this is the second therapist i’ve tried for nocd erp. the last one i left because she yelled at me when i got triggered after she said she thought that i was straight. now the same thing happened minus the yelling. my therapist now said that the way i phrased things made it sound like i am straight (and i don’t want to be this). i want to die honestly. the coincidence of this happening twice? it’s obvious that i’m straight and in denial. the fact that two licensed therapists even feel so. i should just go out and sleep with a man or something just to hurt myself. but whatever i’d probably enjoy it anyway since i’m lying to myself.

i don’t think so because i told them my whole story and everything about me. and they arre very kind and accepting of people. i think it is just the way i talk about my ocd comes off as straight i guess. probably because it’s not ocd, and instead denial. because they said that my compulsions aren’t really compulsions

@lmaocd🍓🥰 May be they didn’t pay attention to what you said. Stuff like that happens. I guess it’s better to change your therapist if you don’t feel comfortable with your current one. One that will listen to you without invalidating your feelings or triggering you.

@lmaocd🍓🥰 What are your compulsions? This sounds so strange. Do you have any reason to be scared to be hetero? Identity etc?

Uh it’s not normal for a therapist to tell you your sexuality... especially trying to convince you of your sexuality being different. How you talk should not deem your sexuality... I would absolutely die if my therapist said oh well actually I don’t think you’re straight

@Justmesadly she was saying basically that the way i did my hierarchy was confusing. but i said in it that i don’t want to be into men. so the only thing that could have been confusing about that is that i guess the thoughts i share about my sexuality must sound like someone in denial?

@lmaocd🍓🥰 That doesn’t make sense at all lol. A therapist also shouldn’t tell you you’re in denial. At least not out right bc that would be rude. And clearly it makes you uncomfortable and you have hocd right? I’m glad they didn’t assume based on your appearance or speech and I’m not sure what you put in the hierarchy, is there not good options? Either way they should be listening to you. I’d report them to the support chat or the number you text for help etc.

@Justmesadly no they didn’t tell me i was indenial!

@lmaocd🍓🥰 they just said i talk about my sexuality in a way that appeared i was hoping to be straight and not gay.

@Justmesadly the hierarchy was “i am bisexual or straight, i’m actually not a lesbian”then the trigger was “i could have feelings for men” does that sound confusing to u because idk

@lmaocd🍓🥰 What did you say about your thoughts? Because your post yesterday made it very clear that being straight would cause you a lot of pain and anxiety so that’s so weird that your therapist told you that. It might be best to look into another one?

@Pinklotus i just commented above what the hierarchy that confused her was^

@Justmesadly yes ur correct

@lmaocd🍓🥰 Okay yeah that doesn’t sound confusing to me at all? So strange? And she yelled at you for this?

@Justmesadly no the last therapist yelled at me. this is about the new therapist. she is very kind. i just got very triggered

@lmaocd🍓🥰 Oh okay I understand. I think that’s normal to be triggered by that

@lmaocd🍓🥰 What did you end off on? I’m so sorry this happened to you, it must’ve been so triggering

@Justmesadly i feel like i’m doin something wrong because i like the therapist and she is very nice but if even she thinks this about me just like the last one then i must be doing something wrong

@Pinklotus i don’t know why it has happened to me. the hierarchy was clear so it’s confusing to me as well

@lmaocd🍓🥰 Just stick with your gut through and through, if you know you don’t want to be attracted to men you keep pushing through with erp and therapy and make it very clear to your therapist.

@Pinklotus it’s funny too because even my best friend when i told him it gay he laughed and said yeah right and continued to tell em im probably confused . as well as my own mother. and now two therapists. i think inust need to accept it at this point

@lmaocd🍓🥰 i’m *

@lmaocd🍓🥰 i just* me*

@lmaocd🍓🥰 But if it doesn’t make you happy?

@lmaocd🍓🥰 That’s so weird. People who tell people their own sexuality make me so uncomfortable. You know who you are and what you like so just do your work and beat the ocd

@Justmesadly Agree 100%

@Justmesadly i know but it’s so much easier said than done. i mean just imagine therapists getting confused and thinking the way u express ur ocd thoughts sound like u desire to be the orientation u actually don’t want to be

@lmaocd🍓🥰 That’s not what happened. She misunderstood you. And that means nothing at all.

@Justmesadly but it’s happened twice and not to anyone else. only me and this is why my ocd is just me in denial. this is what i keep telling myself

@lmaocd🍓🥰 That’s what ocd wants you to believe , only you know yourself and if you say you like men then you don’t. A million people could call you straight and it still would mean nothing and it can’t change your sexuality

@Pinklotus You don’t like *

@lmaocd🍓🥰 That’s simply not true . People with hocd say all the time that people have thought they are whatever sexuality it is that they don’t want to be. And a sign of ocd is using coincidental things as proof. If you were in denial you wouldn’t have ocd

@Pinklotus *^this

@Pinklotus but they are calling me straight based onthe way i talk about my desires

@lmaocd🍓🥰 You’re desires are to not be with a man? How is that confusing

@Justmesadly right but apparently i don’t even do compulsions for this theme. i was telling the therapist when i get thoughts, i make myself think about them over and over to see if they are real or fake thoughts. and apparently that is just me trying to trigger myself but not me trying to reassure myself.

@lmaocd🍓🥰 That’s 100% you trying to reassure yourself?! Who the heck is this therapist. I do that too and I’ve had 3 therapists tell me it’s self reassurance

@Justmesadly well i told them that this method often doesn’t give me reassurance until maybe 15 minute of thinking

@lmaocd🍓🥰 That doesn’t change anything

@lmaocd🍓🥰 Best of luck. Someone telling you your sexuality doesn’t change who you are. And if you have hocd then clearly that’s what needs to be focused on. Hopefully you’ll find a good therapist!

@Justmesadly they said this “So thinking the thought that triggers you and concentrating on it is not the compulsion...that is what you do as an exposure..a compulsion Is what you do to reduce anxiety created by the thought”

@lmaocd🍓🥰 Yes it is a compulsion, because you’re trying to “figure out” if the thought means anything to you or not in an effort to dismiss the thought as opposed to just letting the thought be. An exposure is doing something that triggers those thoughts and then you sit with the anxiety without trying to figure out what the thoughts that come up mean and without ruminating or doing compulsions to allievate the thought

@lmaocd🍓🥰 And you repeatedly coming back to this and ruminating on what your therapist has said is also within itself a compulsion because you’re trying to figure out if what she said meant anything or not

@Pinklotus but they said that concentrating on it is not a compulsion

@lmaocd🍓🥰 These are 100% compulsions... thats what so many of us do no matter what the theme is