I’ve got to wear a heart monitor for 14 days and I hate it. In between that time I’m thinking about starting Zoloft. It’s been staring at me through my cabinet but when I almost had 4 panic attacks in the cardiologist of all places I’ve had enough. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m sick of the thought loops making me think I’m gonna pass out, get sick (even tho I have strep rn), seizure, stroke etc. my brain keeps taking me places I don’t want to go. I’m scared of meds. I’ve been on them before. But I can’t continue like this. I’m sick of being sad and scared

I was on Prozac for depression when four years ago. I haven’t really been depressed since. I was on celexa for undiagnosed ocd flare up two years ago. Both SSRIs made me gain hella weight and made me lose my sex drive. Got on the bupropion to fix what the SSRIs did but I started to have adverse anxiety. My health isn’t the best right now came off the bupropion cold turkey my doctor told me to to start Effexor I took one dose of Effexor and I had an extreme reaction to it. So right now I’m distrustful of medications because I’m tired of feeling awful and everything is exasperating my panic/ocd. But I’ve got to get it under control. When I finish my course of antibiotics I guess I’m gonna try it again

@jljbchs I’ve never been on Zoloft before

@jljbchs First in foremost, listen to your doctor. You don’t have to do what they say, but it’s wise to at least take a step back and listen to what he/she is saying. Take the meds or don’t take the meds. Ultimately it is YOUR choice. It is YOUR body. You don’t have to overthink it. The reason I’m curious about your current situation is- I don’t know what your goal is. And more importantly do you know what your goal is? Are you trying to get rid of anxiety by taking medication? If so, that is something that will not work. Yes medication is a great TOOL to turn down the volume of anxiety. If you take medication you still need to put in the work of achieving good mental health. Such as- cutting out the compulsions. Anxiety is a natural feeling. There is nothing wrong with feeling anxious. Now if you’re feeling anxious all the time- you’re most likely doing compulsions. Try being a detective and figure out what your root fears are. Are you afraid of death? Are you afraid of contracting a crippling illness? Are you afraid of losing your job? Are you afraid of being in public? Are you afraid of harming someone or yourself? Once you find the core fears, it’s much easier to find the compulsions. 😊

@outdoorman I need the medication to turn the dial on the anxiety so I can finally heal. Right now I can hardly do meditation or cut out my compulsions with my panic attacks being so high. I’m in therapy and I’m working on getting a better routine started. I’m looking into DBT in conjunction with CBT. I would like to do EDMR but I can’t find one with my insurance without paying out of pocket. I also need guidance in ERP I’m my therapists first ocd patient. I may have to switch I don’t know. I’m also looking in at Exercise, bedtime routine, better meditation, and vitamins. I’ve already changed my diet to anti inflammatory because my ANA came back positive. I’ve got a lot of health issues with mental health. I need to get my anxiety back down to a baseline so I can help myself receive the treatment. It’s hard waking up in a panic attack, dissociating all day, performing compulsions Bc I’m stuck in my thought loops when I can barely come back down. Showering is even becoming a chore because of how bad my anxiety is. This time, with the meds, I need to put in the work. I don’t want to be on meds the rest of my life. So I need to put in the work so I can come off of them. I’ve never really put in 100% like I should have. Anything beats being in the anxious state I’m in right now. This isn’t worth it

@jljbchs Awesome! Sounds like you have a plan!