Does anybody find themselves trying to seek out the intrusive thoughts? My brain is finally settling down and focusing on positive things but because I’ve been struggling for the last 2 months and having those thoughts is all I’ve know, I find myself seeking out those thoughts to try and prepare myself for them if they happen I’m the future. But it’s just silly to seek out those thoughts. Please tell me I’m not the only one that does this 😔

Yeah

It’s frustrating because it’s like why can’t I just let myself feel normal and at peace? Why do I have to try and seek them out. For so long I pray that the thoughts settle and once they do my OCD is not happy or pleased so it tries to trap me and trick me into seeking those thoughts out

What do you do to stop this from happening?

@LuLaBelle95! Yes I totally get that Im on the same phase. Even today. The weather is great and I feel really better than before buty mind keeps seeking something to grab onto and I can't just shut it all down

@LuLaBelle95! I actually don't really know because I have just entered that stage. But I try to keep doing things, watching, listening to music. Just living through this. Idk, disregarding the thoughts really did work for me, when I stopped giving them meaning and tried to live a full life.

@Daria Alexandrovna For me my natural instinct is to tell them no but that only makes them worse. I’ve done research and have been told on here that accepting them is the best way to handle them. Accepting them doesn’t make them true but that’s the part I’m still trying to work on. They are just scary and of course I don’t agree with them but to try and shut them down with a “no” only makes them stronger. Thankfully my medication is still being built so I’m hoping as time goes by I can just forget about them

@LuLaBelle95! Disregarding doesn't mean that you tell No to a thought, it means that you don't give a thought a meaning, treating it as just a thought

Yes it tries to catch you in any way even when you get better, à lot better it still finds little crecises or moments when you are stressed

I have troubles with ERP sadly

@Daria Alexandrovna I’ve never tried ERP and I just know that it’s not the best therapy option for me. I’m quite certain that doing ERP would just arouse any underlying thoughts or fears that I don’t know I have. I do CBT therapy and today I’m doing EMDR therapy! Try looking those up and see if those are more comfortable therapy options for you🙂

@LuLaBelle95! Oh I don't think I have read about it! Thank you I'm going to Google it!

@Daria Alexandrovna To my understanding it’s not as heavy (if you get what I mean) than ERP. ERP can be really scary and not work for some people especially if you have super intrusive thoughts more than compulsions. But with EMDR it sounds like it’s exposure in moderation and not really even exposure. It’s you thinking of something that makes you have negative emotions towards and helps smooth those emotions out and store that memory/event in your brain the proper way. I have a therapy appointment in 20 min I’ll update you on how it goes. Let me know what you think tho!

@LuLaBelle95! I read online that Emdr is often for people who have been through trauma? What about you? I saved an article on CBT and going to read into it soon! Good luck to you, I'm glad you're getting help. I haven't eve been diagnosed bc one lady I went to talked to me for 10-15min for free and misunderstood everything. But I really struggled, wanted to die. Now I am better but still need to not lose grasp on it

@Daria Alexandrovna So I was just recently hospitalized because my thoughts got so bad and my meds were out of whack because I just found out I’m pregnant and I couldn’t stay on my Klonopin. So I was going through withdrawals and a lot of stuff. I lost 14 pounds in one week from not eating because of my anxiety. I woke up everyday for two weeks shaking and sweating and hearing people scream and talk to them selves when I was in the hospital. So everything I do reminds me of before I was in the hospital which allows me to make the assumption that’s how it’s going to turn out again. So unfortunately I have a little bit of trauma from this. Hoping this therapy sessions helps. My meds are still building and unfortunately they take 4-6 weeks

@LuLaBelle95! Yes it sounds really bad... it's great you are getting help, again, I believe you'll be better!!! You are strong! I have never had OCD theme that hit this hard. I have been on edge and I think that experienced depression for the first time in my life. I was so broken I couldn't talk to people or do anything, nothing would bring be joy. So yeah I would start thinking death is better than this. But even through this pain my partner made me feel better when we talked and so I knew I wanted to live for him. BTW I have ROCD. Probably it's because relationship are very important to me...

😞

It'd called a backdoor spike

@Daria Alexandrovna I didn’t know this had a name! Good to know!

@em.jem It's very common, our minds get used to discomfort so when our symptoms start fading we panic that we found our truth and now it isn't OCD

Yes I agree with this! I feel like if I’m not worrying or obsessing or having intrusive thoughts that something is wrong and I get an uneasy feeling

Choose whatever works for you but rember that for example with ERP you will often have even more thoughts. watch a video from Ali Greymand (?) on First Stage of OCD recovery

@Daria Alexandrovna I have enough thoughts as it is already lol I don’t need anymore 😭

@LuLaBelle95! It's for your healing. If CBT makes you better then do it, of course. I personally don't like ERP either, I am too afraid that I'm just avoiding some truths and this will unfold it.

@Daria Alexandrovna That’s exactly how I feel! I don’t want it revealing anything that isn’t on my mind. My ocd would just take it and run with it. ERP is definitely not for everyone. My parents don’t think it’s a good therapy for me either

@LuLaBelle95! Yes I am too scared. But I also finate about that fear of mine. 'Are you avoiding and hiding from this?' Ugh

@LuLaBelle95! Have you tried CBT? What did you do?

@Daria Alexandrovna I do a lot of bilateral stimulation!

@Daria Alexandrovna Its more about using your body to distract your thoughts rather than try to talk your thoughts down

@LuLaBelle95! oh it's interesting...

@LuLaBelle95! using how?

@Daria Alexandrovna Let me find a good article on bilateral stimulation!

thank you?

I like the idea of audial bilateral stimulation. Have you tried it?

@Daria Alexandrovna I have not I don’t think! What is it

@LuLaBelle95! It's when you listen to the audio and the sound goes from the left to the right ear, it's in this article

@Daria Alexandrovna Oh no I haven’t done audio bilateral stimulation. I do need to research it more. Along with researching the fact that ocd capitalizes on the things most important to a person

@LuLaBelle95! Yeah that's true though I don't think it's always the case!

@Daria Alexandrovna I feel like a lot of it does have to deal with things you love but then there are those thoughts that don’t really deal with anything important to you. Those thoughts are just random ya know

@LuLaBelle95! Yes 100%.

@Daria Alexandrovna It just feels like I can’t catch a break. This has been one of the most difficult times in my life

@LuLaBelle95! Yes honey I feel you, mine too, though I have had similar episodes in my past, it hasn't been like this ever. But it will get better. Learn about OCD, separate yourself from your thoughts. It's the hardest, but it works. Of course, you may still be sensible to triggers, but fight it. It is going to feel like it's you, your thoughts, it's going to find proofs. Don't give up. It's not you.

@Daria Alexandrovna It just feels like I’m running out of techniques on how to combat these thoughts. One day acknowledging that they are there and accepting them works and then the next it doesn’t. I just want to go back to normal. I want all these thoughts to go away and just leave me alone

@LuLaBelle95! I know, me too. We need to do this day by day. And you need to act on them not only from inside, but also from outside. Health, sleep, showers, food, walks with friends or just with people you know, when it gets easier then games, books, education, videos. Sports and sport games

@Daria Alexandrovna Act on what?

@LuLaBelle95! Thoughts, your OCD

@Daria Alexandrovna I don’t want to act on the thoughts I have

@LuLaBelle95! I mean influence them

@LuLaBelle95! Not DO what they tell you, I mean influence them and get rid of them

@LuLaBelle95! srrt if I used the wrong verb

@Daria Alexandrovna Oh gotcha lol I was gonna say wait haha

@LuLaBelle95! Sorry ahah

@Daria Alexandrovna You’re good! Trying to get rid of these thoughts is really tough. Getting rid of them or just turning the intensity down is so hard