I read an OCD story about a girl who had OCD and saw demons/possessed family members and in the end got electric convulsion therapy. This is freaked me out since then that I could end up like that. Two things...I’m scared to take any medicine/drink (like upping my antidepressants or sleep aids, anti-anxiety medicine, any alcohol) for fear of all of sudden losing my mind and seeing my infant baby girl be possessed that I’d harm her. Two, I’m afraid I’ll end up like her and need electric convulsion therapy or deep brain stimulation because I could be treatment resistant. I just feel like doing my exposures and trying to accept uncertainty has my brain on stubborn mode and not really accepting the uncertainty. Like it feels like a desert in my brain in that. Have any of you dealt with being afraid medicine would make you lose your mind/get you out of control? Any of you worried you were treatment resistant?

I don’t know, these fears sure do feel real. I feel like I’m a lost cause because I’ve been in therapy for over a year and I don’t feel I’ve gotten better.

@cbear2006 Yeah, OCD makes everything feel like it is real. But that story isn't OCD or ate least just OCD. I feel like you need reassurance right now that you aren't going to loose your mind. It's one of my fears too. Therapy is a long and difficult journey and it isn't linear. You're feeling down right now, but you sure have made progress that you can't see because the sensations are too real and scary. You've got this. You have to be paciente with yourself. Talk to your therapist about your expectations and your feeling towards therapy and progress, it can help. This is very scary, I know, but we're strong and we aren't the OCD, we just have OCD. Remember that. You're so much more ❤

@🌼 Thank you! Yeah, I don’t want to seek reassurance which may have come off that way. I definitely sent that story to my therapist so I hope we can figure things out. 🙂

@cbear2006 I do that too. It's good to understand. Good luck with your journey ❤

Have you been doing the therapy and exposures? Do you see lots of improvement? That’s my fear that I’ll do the exposures, but won’t work.

@cbear2006 I have been doing the therapy and didn’t think it would work on me, but it did! These therapists know how to treat OCD. I never made a better decision to recovery than the day I signed up for therapy through the app. I’m serious, it was life changing

Oh I know, but they do use deep brain stimulation which is a fear that if treatment doesn’t work, that’s what would happen.

@cbear2006 Hmm never heard of that. But i would try really hard to do erp and therapy and take medication! You can do this and get functioning

@Justmesadly Thanks! I just hope my brain gets it and doesn’t feel like a desert during the response part. I wish they had a device that when you do your exposures, whatever is connected to your brain, the therapist can see you do a mental compulsion and tell you to stop. 😄

@cbear2006 Haha that would be nice! For my I don’t even realize what is a compulsion and what isn’t so it makes it even harder. Like a lot of what I was doing was mental complusions for one of my themes and I had no idea

@Justmesadly I know! And it’s like be mindful but don’t be distracted. Some of these things get so confusing because it’s like well if I’m ruminating, shouldn’t I focus on something else which can make me mindful or does that mean I’m distracted? I don’t know. Have you felt like you are doing better? I’m feeling like I’m a lost cause since I’ve been in this therapy for over a year and I don’t feel like I get better; more like even more fearful. 😄

@cbear2006 When I say this therapy, I’ve tried this with different therapists. I’ve tried this app since people have said they’ve gotten better and I’m hoping this therapist can get to the bottom of my OCD versus the ones who I felt would tell me what I need to do, but I couldn’t understand still?

@cbear2006 Yes I am the same way! Yes I feel 10x better and I have finally ended my 13 month depression! My therapist is amazing and has taught me more in 3 weeks than my first therapist did in 10 months

@cbear2006 Yes this app is incredible including the therapist and I find the YouTube videos with the people with ocd are so helpful to not feel alone