- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Sounds rough, at least u have a bae lol
yeah i just need some advice bc idk how to communicate with my parents
@LifeIsBeautiful I mean I would just be honest with them tell em that u are uncomfortable at your house, and that they need to give you space
@Twrecks i have and they are like “ so it’s our fault you feel this way “
@LifeIsBeautiful Hm, why do they not like him?
@Twrecks when we first dated my mom had no reason to . my dad liked him . we broke up for ab a year bc he was going through things but took his anger out on me and his family and was treating me like shit so we went our separate ways . we got back together and i told i’d stay with him if he treated me right . so he showed me better and i’m so much more happier now that’s basically why and my mom is not one of those people that let go do the past easily she holds grudges even when people show differently and she judges people based on how they look 99% of the time
So...move out as best as you can. If you go to school/work etc, try picking up roommates to distribute the cost. Trust me I get it. My parents are foreign. Even when they were more liberal than other FOBS, still annoying. Spend as much time outside your house as possible. And honestly l, just don't tell them where you're going. If you are doing you're best to be responsible given your circumstance, then they can feel whatever they want to feel.
i want to move out but they make me feel bad ab it bc they say oh but we pay for your car your phone we pay for all these things for you and this is how you repay us but they took away my car and won’t let me leave the house rn . but i do want to leave but that would ruin my relationship with them but i need SPACE . i feel treated like a kid
Ok so if they're doing that it sounds like they do not respect your adulthood. Look my parents gave said that too. And I hate to say it...even if I love them, that's manipulation (probably displaced emotions too). Do you have any family members you trust that you can talk to?
Listen I was a rebellious teen, seriously my parents were foreign and hated me being out and hated my boyfriends so I snuck out. I look back and see they were trying to protect me and thought I deserved the best , and I see that my s.o weren't the healthiest at the time. My dad wasn't a nice guy by any means and the way my parents fought always made me hate being home. I barely graduated highschool . I got a 1.5 . I'm in college now getting a 3.79. Living on your own is a big responsibility. I'm about to be 23 now and at 20 I did leave home for awhile only to find dishes were piling up and I wasn't eating right and I was just drinking and getting high with my friends. Wasn't ever the over the top but I realized I did still need to be with my parents, so I came back home. How are your grades? Are they slipping are they low? Sometimes we get so consumed in being with our boyfriends at that age that we miss out on the things we are supposed to be doing like doing well in school, clubs, sports if possible . I don't like some of the advice on this thread saying to not communicate with your parents, if anything you need /more/ communication with your parents so they can see where you're coming from and you can discuss what you wish they wouldn't do and so u can see where they're coming from and most of all to keep you safe. You guys need to work together and establish boundaries.
i understand because my parents are foreign as well . my grades are going pretty good . at first they were bad when i first was diagnosed with OCD but now it’s like sometimes i forget i have it bc it’s gotten a lot better . my GPA rn is a 3.8 in high school . i want to communicate better
It does get better and one day you will have the independence you want! And it'll feel great! So Right now focus on creating stability in things you can control like school so that you can get to a place where you will be driving, working , and having healthy relationships without you one day. If you throw away all your responsibilities now in depression and being with your boyfriend, you'll have to be playing catch up later. You will /have to/ catch up because you will have no choice. Your parents will not be around forever. Your relationship might not even be together, most high school ones don't, but if you told me that when I was 17 I'd probably have fought someone because I looooved my boyfriend at the time who had just as many home problems as me, if not more. Eventually you realize you want people who have their shit together lol.
Having healthy relationships without fighting*
I have a question is it selfish for me to want to move out of my parents house in 2027? For reference I graduate fall 2026 of next year and I live out of state for college. I know graduation is close but I want to stay in my college state because I am used to living here and my home environment at home is toxic. My boyfriend lives in my home state and he wants to stay with his parents and pay bills ( higher than an apartment). His home is also toxic but he chooses to stay there even after he graduates this semester. We got into an argument today because he doesn’t want to move here with me and work down here I told him it’s a better place than where we live but he refuses. He would also be more happy mentally but he doesn’t want to. He feels like me wanting to live down here is a bad thing because I’m trying to independent without any help which is not the case. I also don’t like that he lives at home because he feels obligated to pay for things because it’s his parents but his mom uses him for money. And he’s brainwashed by her because she said to him stay with me as long as you want to and don’t move out because it’s expensive and also because she needs him. They have a trauma bond that I feel like I could never amount to. I just feel like when I graduate I might have to break up with him because he doesn’t have a future for himself outside being at home and driving his mom everywhere and working to pay the bills in the house and not having money saved for us. Can someone please help me? Am I being to harsh on him? For reference I am 19 about to be 20 and I have money saved enough for my own apartment but the only reason I haven’t moved out yet is because I want to finish my degree and have a stable job and I am also building up my credit at the moment ever since I was 17.
Hey all this is my first post so i’m kind of nervous. I’d like to hear feedback from outside sources and people not directly in my life who might be biased. I am not sure if this is an OCD thing or maybe just an anxiety thing but I would love some advice. I am a night owl and the rest of my family is not. I’m an adult who still lives with my parents since i’m saving money to move out. Every night I stay up until around 12:30 in our living room to relax and wind down with a quiet house (like my own me-time) and then go to bed. My parent’s room is right off the living room and they close their door while I’m awake so they can sleep. They told me not to be up past midnight since their room gets “too stuffy” with the door closed. I haven’t been doing well with midnight but try my best to shut everything off by 12:30 at the latest. They got mad that I don’t listen and now say I am not allowed in the living room after they go to bed. So when they go to bed I have to confine myself to my bedroom. I like my routines and thinking about trying to wind down (by reading or crocheting) in my bed feels wrong because my bed is “for sleeping” only. I feel like I don’t have a comforting safe place to relax before bed now and when I have tried to explain that to them they don’t care and say i’m disrespecting them. I’m curious what you might think about the situation and would appreciate feedback, regardless if i’m in the wrong or not. It makes me wish I didn’t live here but I don’t really have anywhere else to go.
Just feel like getting it off my chest since I was little I always felt like my mom was my enemy like she was always competing with me and was always boy thirsty she never really focused on me although it was always me and her because I would never rly see my dad since they weren’t together I feel as if she was never really their it was alway other people taking care of me not her and I hold a lot of resentment towards her because I feel like she try’s to play this role of innocent mom whos kid hates her for no reason but that could be farther frm the truth she would always just focus on her bfs and whenever she would fight with them she would take it out on me or if she would see them making a bond with me she would also get mad the other day too I had memories of when I was 8-9 she would take me to her friends house who had two boys 10-11 and I remember we would always play ruff but their would be times where I remember they would bend me over and hump me and I never said anything I also remembered this one time she took me with this random lady and I only went that one time but I recall a boy who looked to be 13 like a teenager he told me to go under the bed and at the time I was very little like probably no more then 7 and I rember he started touching me and kissing me I never got rapid or anything tho but very touchy and I was telling my bf about it and I started crying because I hadn’t thought abt those things since years ago and now that I remembered I can’t forget and no one knew because I never told anyone but my bf just comforted me and hugged me but it makes me really sad and I know my mom wouldn’t care if I told her she also has kicked me out about 8 times already and we even had a cps case which she still blames me for although it was her fault and she also always does stuff just to upset me on purpose she also made fun of me bien suicidal and would joke about it with anyone she could get the chance too theirs a lot more that I could talk about for hours but this is already very long point is I hold so much anger and resentment towards her and if I’m being completely transparent I truly can say I hate her I feel so bad about it because in the end she is my mom but I can’t forgive her for the stuff she’s done to me and the stuff I’ve had to go through because of her I wish I could fix our relationship but at the same time I feel hopeless and like theirs no fixing it
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