- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I’m trying to learn kickboxing and most of the time I feel really embarrassed and I’m getting anxious if it doesn’t work out perfectly :/
- Date posted
- 6y
Aw yeah :( I feel you
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah I ruminate over past things I've said all the time and it stresses me out really bad.
- Date posted
- 6y
You’re onto something here hales. I think there is so much about our thinking process we need to change of which intrusive thoughts are the symptom that send us to therapy. As an example: I had to confide in our IT manager about my condition when he had to have access to my home pc and he saw a document entitled ‘harm ocd script’ lol. He was very understanding but said he reckoned the therapy was working because I no longer got SO stressed out from loosing or playing badly at ping pong. Since giving up, truly giving up the need to be good or impress, my brain is more responsive, relaxed and in the zone so I’m playing better than ever. This is much harder to do with horrid content like ‘what if I’s goes crazies and start buttfucking small girls......OH I’S IMAGINIZINGS IT’ Process is the same though. Fuck fear. Fuck the thoughts it produces. Fuck our avoidance of horrid content. Get back up. Try again, practise being happy ENOUGH with the progress you make. Happy enough. Not happy with some stupid ass bar you set for yourself. One of these days I’m going to write out my worst intrusive thought 100 fucking times in this app and then hope it triggers everyone else. I’m so done being controlled.
- Date posted
- 6y
Dude I understand your frustration but try to use trigger warnings at least if your going to write this stuff. It might not trigger me (still extremely uncomfortable to read) but it will trigger other people real bad.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m going to reject trigger warnings. Maybe I’m being insensitive but trigger warnings = avoidance = ocd maintenance
- Date posted
- 6y
I come across as a right tw@ I know. But I genuinely do it because we need to get triggered. The more you chase triggers the more the brain gets a chance to process and REFILE the information. Every time you interrupt that it can’t do it’s job. Think of it like defragging your hard drive. It has to pull all the files out to rewrite them in sequential order so at the end of it, stuff loads quicker and crashes less. Or even spring cleaning your house. During, it’s a tip. After, it’s organised and fresh.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
So I got dumped today by my situationship. For background, we talked for like 3 months, and I just recently lost my virginity to her. We only had sex twice. After she said we should still be friends, goofily (reassurance-seeking) I asked “but the sex was good right?” And she told me it was “good for a virgin” which hurt my feelings, then going even further she said “not in my top ten.” This made me CRY, like on the spot, right there in front of her (not the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done…. But definitely in my top ten). I started having intrusive thoughts about how I’m unattractive/unworthy of love. She asked me why I was crying, but I just said “I don’t like myself very much,” which is always the underlying problem with me. And she reassured me that I’m “not a bad person” and “it’s not because you’re not smart or not beautiful.” But the reassurance made me spiral more, bc I was thinking “I didn’t even mention feeling unattractive or stupid, she can just tell that I am.” Then it kept getting worse and worse, “I’m unattractive/unlovable/stupid. I’m not good at sex, I’m not good at anything.” I had to stop myself and realize it was OCD obsessing over the things “wrong” with me. I think I started this post wanting reassurance, but now I think I want to know if anyone has any tips on accepting criticism as someone with OCD, bc it always sends me down a “there is something wrong with me” spiral.
- Date posted
- 21w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
I am hurting so much right now. I feel sad and disgusted with myself that I would even worry about these things (pocd). What kind of a human even thinks that and has doubts about that?? Definitely not one that’s rational or mentally sane. That kind of stuff should be a no brainer so why do I worry about it so much and what does it say about me? I feel sick and disgusted and can’t stop crying over it. I just feel so defeated like I want to disappear. I started ERP and every time I resist reassuring myself it comes back at me from every angle. I hate this so much.
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