- Username
- halespineapple18
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes I’m trying to learn kickboxing and most of the time I feel really embarrassed and I’m getting anxious if it doesn’t work out perfectly :/
Aw yeah :( I feel you
Yeah I ruminate over past things I've said all the time and it stresses me out really bad.
You’re onto something here hales. I think there is so much about our thinking process we need to change of which intrusive thoughts are the symptom that send us to therapy. As an example: I had to confide in our IT manager about my condition when he had to have access to my home pc and he saw a document entitled ‘harm ocd script’ lol. He was very understanding but said he reckoned the therapy was working because I no longer got SO stressed out from loosing or playing badly at ping pong. Since giving up, truly giving up the need to be good or impress, my brain is more responsive, relaxed and in the zone so I’m playing better than ever. This is much harder to do with horrid content like ‘what if I’s goes crazies and start buttfucking small girls......OH I’S IMAGINIZINGS IT’ Process is the same though. Fuck fear. Fuck the thoughts it produces. Fuck our avoidance of horrid content. Get back up. Try again, practise being happy ENOUGH with the progress you make. Happy enough. Not happy with some stupid ass bar you set for yourself. One of these days I’m going to write out my worst intrusive thought 100 fucking times in this app and then hope it triggers everyone else. I’m so done being controlled.
Dude I understand your frustration but try to use trigger warnings at least if your going to write this stuff. It might not trigger me (still extremely uncomfortable to read) but it will trigger other people real bad.
I’m going to reject trigger warnings. Maybe I’m being insensitive but trigger warnings = avoidance = ocd maintenance
I come across as a right tw@ I know. But I genuinely do it because we need to get triggered. The more you chase triggers the more the brain gets a chance to process and REFILE the information. Every time you interrupt that it can’t do it’s job. Think of it like defragging your hard drive. It has to pull all the files out to rewrite them in sequential order so at the end of it, stuff loads quicker and crashes less. Or even spring cleaning your house. During, it’s a tip. After, it’s organised and fresh.
Hey guys. I’m having a really hard time. Everything feels so hopeless right now. My girlfriend and I just broke up and it was the first time that I felt like I actually saw a future with someone. I hate that my OCD turns me into this insecure person and someone who constantly second guesses myself. I know it’s not the sole reason for the break up, but I hate that I can see the person I want to be, but can’t see to get there. Anyone else struggle with this? I feel like I’m stuck behind a chain link fence, and can see the good on the other side but can’t get there. I just wanna know I’m capable of getting there. Sorry everyone, just venting and looking for some support :/.
I am so sad. I feel so hopeless. I am just so tired of picking myself up again. I want to recover. I've read so many books and gone to therapy. But I feel as hopeless as ever. I could just cry all day and not stand up. I worry that my OCD has turned into depression... I want to get better! But it is so frustrating!! Those feelings... I keep searching for a way to get rid of them, I can't endure them! I don't want to feel sad all the time...
This isn’t even about ocd but I need to vent. You don’t have to read or respond if you dont want to. I’m such a failure and I don’t even know why I’m alive. All I do is sit in my bed and go on my phone 24/7 a day. I never do homework and I’m doing so bad in school because it’s so hard. And I’m literally the weakest person ever and I give up at everything. I try to work on a project for one second and give up. I have no hobbies or any goals for the future. I’m just so lazy and a burden to everyone in my family. I’m ignoring my friends. I just feel like such a negative lazy person and quitter. I don’t know how I’m gonna get anywhere in life.
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