I would really appreciate some responses! This is hard I am having ROCD I guess and I am constantly comparing my relationship and overall life and happiness to others. I always see people on social media trying to better themselves and I have no motivation b/c I am so depressed. My job is meh I don’t exercise don’t see friends much. I wonder if I moved to a different state if I’d be happier and if my problems would be solved but I don’t want to go alone where I don’t know anyone. I Google mental health disorders sometimes and articled about relationships I am scared I lost the ability to love and I’ll get abandoned because of OCD & my anxiety. I am scared this was all triggered bc I am ready to move in now and my boyfriend is not. I just want certainty and all these doubts to go away. Also my therapist on this app if I message her I am scared I don’t have ocd etc she will just be like you’re right, what if you don’t? Is she just not trying to give reassurance? I am confused about the concept of sitting in doubt and uncertainty it seems impossible. Why would my mind target the person who usually gives me the most comfort? Is it not meant to be? :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Relationships are supposed to make you happy so I get scared of if I’m so stressed about it is it not meant to be? We were just so happy before all these doubts arouse

Kls2121

Date posted: 4y

I'm sure in any relationship everyone thinks the same as you do. The only difference is our minds don't let us let it go so we think of it over and over. Your boyfriend is with you even with your ocd so its nothing new. Don't be scared of what your therapist is going yo say, they are there to help you.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@Kls2121 The ROCD stuff just started happening around December though that’s why I’m scared it’ll be too much since it’s gotten so bad

Kls2121

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous I understand completely. Relationships take work no matter what. Do you love him? Do you see yourself with him forever? If its meant to be it will work out. Just take one day at a time.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Yes that is what I wanted but now I am scared I have lost the ability to love and it’ll never be the same with OCD :(

Kls2121

Date posted: 4y

😪 I know. Ocd is horrible. Why do you feel you lost ability to love?

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Because at the very beginning of all of this I got in a Google rabbit hole of BPD and it talked about anxious attachment styles and struggles to be in relationships so I got idea in my head that what if I can’t be in a relationship? Now every time I’m with him Im kind of on edge and worried about falling out of love so that worry makes it to where it’s hard to enjoy present moment ya know?

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@kls2121

Kls2121

Date posted: 4y

Yes I do know. People have told me Google can be your worse nightmare but yet I use it more and more.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Also social media everyone said you can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself which got in my head. I gained some weight my junior year of college and I have bad self esteem from anxiety so I feel like I have nothing to offer. It sucks :(

Kls2121

Date posted: 4y

But you do have something to offer. You have a bf. You know many how many people feel the same as you? I used to look so much better but now I'm just like ewww why is my husband with me.

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