I don't know if I am doing my recovery work right. I have real event OCD and always fear that I may have already done sth that could upset my bf so much that he would leave me. My main compulsion is confessing these things to my bf. If I don't do that, I feel extremely guilty most of the time. It feels like I don't deserve to live a happy life with him because I am practically lying to him by not confessing. I was in therapy, but my therapist only did cbd and it was nice to talk to someone but I don't really know what to do now that it's over. So I always browse on Instagram sites or this app to find something that helps. First of all, I don't really know how to do erp with a real event. Someone suggested imaginery writing (sth like that), but I don' t think I am doing that alright. So my "recovery work" consists of not confessing my current obsession to my bf and enduring the feelings of guilt while I try to live my life. But I don't know how or if I should label them as "OCD Feelings", because everytime I do, my head goes "you don't know that, you are just trying to get away with sth bad you did, you just pretend to have ocd...", So I just endured it without saying "those are my intrusive thoughts". So here is what I did different lately: Maybe it doesn't sound like a big difference, but lately I have been labeling them as ocd feelings and I have been "putting them automatically in the ocd box" and I started to feel better. My mind is still screaming that it isn't true, I don't know it for sure etc. But I feel better labeling them as OCD than I did when I just endured the feelings without labeling them. Because the problem with just enduring is that it really sucks. Everytime something romantic or nice happens in my relationship, the guilt ist excruciating. I can't enjoy my time with my bf anymore because the nicer it is with him, my guilt gets worse. I feel like I've lost him. But as I labeled them, I felt better, I can almost imagine that these feelings might go away in time. I was really depressed before because nothing really changed... So what I wanted to ask is, do y'all think this is reassurance if I say that my feelings are ocd feelings?

jonathan18

Date posted: 4y

I am no expert, but I suffer from ocd myself. And I believe that it is very important (at least it was for me) to do exactly what you are doing. We are dealing with a disfunction of the brain that doesn’t not respond to logic. The main goal of ocd is to make sure that you doubt having ocd. I strongly suggest that you stop believing that the intrusive thoughts that you experience say something about you. In ocd, the thoughts, the theme, means nothing. It means nothing. Try to understand that your mental alarm system (which is malfunctioning btw) uses words, thoughts, images, and every idea to get to you. It needs you to respond in the way that you do in order to survive. Trust that you have ocd, if ocd you have. Stop doubting. It’s the name of the game. Good luck.

jonathan18

Date posted: 4y

Again I am not in a position to tell you wether or not this is ocd, but while you look for proper help, go listen to ocd stories podcasts. It helps a ton

jonathan18

Date posted: 4y

I want to add that you need to work with a rigid program in order to perform erp correctly. Reach out to an expert !

SoMi1907

Date posted: 4y

Yes, I thought so. I've been trying to educate myself about erp and do it on my own, but it didn't really work and I didn't know how to do it. I can't find a specialist anywhere, my therapist literally said that it can't be ocd if it centers around past events, because ocd only addresses the future. So she wasn't exactly a specialist. I'd love to do the NOCD program, but it s not available in Europe..

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond