- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes absolutely! Constantly! Sometimes it’s so bad that whenever someone is saying something like „We’re all in this together let’s beat this illness“ or something like this I feel like I am a faker/liar and not someone who’s meant/deserves such sentences and being a sufferer from OCD. Really wears me out sometimes. Moreover I have thoughts like I enjoy having OCD and wanting it, not wanting it to go away, mostly after reading about people who want it to go away. It makes me feel so confused and bad.
- Date posted
- 6y
@Eden :) yes I can relate oh my god I have had thoughts like this and feeling so guilty like everyone wants it to go away but I have thoughts of enjoying it even tho I definitely DONT
- Date posted
- 6y
I HAVE EXACTLY THAT! The way that I found out about harm OCD (my first ever theme) was through an article which then made me think I had it. And so I feel like if I hadn’t seen that, then I would never have naturally developed those intrusive thoughts.
- Date posted
- 6y
I always question it!
- Date posted
- 6y
I also have a thing about enjoying it, because I feel like even though it sucks, my life would feel empty without it.
- Date posted
- 6y
Im glad im not the only one then because lately the depression has kicked in harder and i constantly think like what it i grow to like this and then i get scared and say no thats not who i am.... a lot. And then ill question but what if i dont have ocd its so dumb how ocd plays its game
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s so hard. I hope you get the recovery you deserve.
- Date posted
- 6y
I do this a lot as well, i look up symtoms and take test to make sure that is ocd and not me losing my mind
- Date posted
- 6y
I also did a lot of tests and tell my therapist nearly every week about my doubts. Some issue I’m struggling with is that I’m afraid I develop certain OCD themes because I read about them and that I’m not really suffering from them. For example I read about ROCD and at first I thought „nah i don’t have these symptoms.“ but now it seems that I developed them and I am trying to refer certain situations from the time before I had heard about ROCD to ROCD. Makes it worse because I feel like I am using it as an excuse for my thoughts/feelings etc. And makes me think I’m faking OCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
You guys too thank you!! I itsnhard now but im hooping soon it wont be
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hey all, I’ve been having some ebbs and flows in recovery, but for the most part I’ve really had a lot of improvements in quality of life since starting treatment in 2023. Something that really trips me up is ruminating on my past and looking for “evidence” or “proof” that the things that I’m obsessed with are real and not OCD. I spend quite a lot of time doing this. I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it until recently. Example: that I’m secretly gay and lying to everyone (I’m bi), that I’m a horrible person deep down, that I’ve never actually loved any person including my family, that I have the “wrong” political or religious beliefs. I look for proof in every corner of my past. It makes some sense that I think this way because with my previous therapist, who I saw for 8 years and did not diagnose me with OCD, we would look for evidence and proof that my obsessions are irrational and I learned to deal with them that way. At the time it was a lot of health concern and contamination themes, but I literally learned to ruminate and search for relief. But I just kept getting sicker and sicker until I got diagnosed with OCD. It’s a frustrating compulsion that keeps showing up for me. What if these scary things are true? What if it’s not OCD at all and I’m in denial? Have I lied my way into thinking I have OCD? It’s so hard. Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else has come across this in recovery? Let me know your thoughts and I hope you’re well. ❤️
- Date posted
- 22w
I’m hoping to get some feedback or hear if anyone else experiences similar things. Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of repetitive behaviors and thoughts that feel hard to control. Some of those things are: - I often get this uneasy feeling, and if I don’t do certain things in a specific way, it just doesn’t feel "just right." - I have to wash my hands until it feels "just right," and if I try not to, I get a thought that something bad will happen if I don’t. - I dislike using public bathrooms and even shared bathrooms at home. - When I shower, I have to wear socks before stepping on the floor. If my feet touch the ground, I feel like I have to shower again. - I get hyper-fixated on cuts, worrying about them getting infected, and I avoid touching water or anything else to prevent bacteria, even if I can’t cover them with a bandaid. - I can’t use dishes that have just been washed because I think they haven’t been cleaned properly. Instead, I use the ones that have already been dried and stored. When I type (like on emails or texts), I’ll fix what I write over and over, trying to make it "just right." - I have a strange dislike for certain numbers (7, 4, and 6) and feel uncomfortable around them. - I also have to follow routines, like making my bed in a certain way, and I can’t stop until everything is in the right order. - I get stuck on intrusive thoughts, like needing to wash my hands repeatedly or constantly checking things (like if I turned off the stove) because I fear something bad will happen if I don’t. - I’ll even repeat things in my head, like words or phrases, to make the "just right" feeling go away. - Sometimes, I treat inanimate objects like they have feelings and worry about hurting them, even though I know it's not real. - I’ve always felt like I’m being watched, which causes a lot of distress. There’s more, but these are some of the main things. I feel like these thoughts and behaviors control a lot of my day, and I just can’t stop them even when I know they’re kind of irrational. Does this sound like it could be signs of OCD, or is it something else? Or just normal behavior?
- Date posted
- 16w
I was diagnosed with OCD around the age of 6, subtype- contamination primarily. It calmed down as I got older and I assumed it had gone away, but also didn’t realize it can show up in other ways, and it still had been effecting me which I know now. I’m not 31 and I’ve been in therapy for a year and it’s helped a lot, although I sometimes get thoughts that what if some of the stuff I’m dealing with isn’t ocd and I’m exaggerating. I feel like thoughts will feel sticky and I’ll do certain compulsions but then the thought eventually vanishes if I do it a few times which makes me think maybe it’s not OCD since other people/friends I know would probably do the exact same thing. Not sure if I’m making sense, but I guess my question is if that thought comes up with anyone else? Just being unsure if something you’re doing actually is ocd or not.
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