Does anyone have any advice on getting over a groinal response to a disgusting picture of porn in the past. It happened a couple of months ago and I cannot forgive myself AT ALL, but I would like for me to sort of forget about it. Or not let it bother me as much, without forgiving myself. Because I don’t feel like I deserve to forgive myself but I would like for it to not bother me so much.

It was on tiktok and People were saying that it was a child and now I’m scared I am some criminal and this has caused me to be suicidal. I don’t remember everything about it and I’m trying to figure it out but I’m so scared I’m a pedophile now. But it is really difficult to try and forgive myself because I don’t want to live anymore because of what happened. I don’t know how I’m suppose to forgive myself, I hate myself now because of it and I really don’t think I can forgive myself for this. But I do want to move on so I guess I will and that is gonna be really hard

But I feel like this has to make me some sort of criminal and some disgusting monster that doesn’t deserve to live. Because I kee telling myself that I don’t deserve to live because it genuinely feels that way

I also keep trying to remember what the image actually was and I can’t but it is getting all distorted in my brain of what it was.

@Jbgys543 It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to figure it out and it won’t help you to try. You forgive yourself by giving yourself grace and understanding! Read up on some resources on forgiveness!

@Justmesadly Thank you so much :) also sorry about me commenting so much. I’ve just been crying about this so much lately and have been full of anxiety. But i will try my best to forgive myself. :)

@Jbgys543 You’re allowed to cry and have anxiety. I know you can work and get better !

@Justmesadly Thank you :) I just wish I had never seen it. It was a pic of female genitalia and omg if it was a child I hope who ever put it gets held accountable. I just wish I could go back in time and stop myself from seeing it. But thank you so much for the advice :)

@Justmesadly Also I apologize if any of this made you uncomfortable

@Jbgys543 You’re not making me uncomfortable. You can’t go back and change things unfortunately so it’s best to just practice forgiving yourself and working towards self love and understanding! That way erp is more effective

@Justmesadly Thank you so much for this! :) I will definitely practice forgiving myself :)

@Justmesadly But I’m also scared that I knew that it was a child and looked at it even though I knew it was a child. Which I don’t remember that well but I think that is what happened but I really don’t know. It scares me so much. It is really difficult to not figure it out but it feels like I have to :/

@Justmesadly Do you think this is some sort of real event ocd?