i’m scared again that i’m attracted to my own body. when i watch porn, i tend to watch things with quite sexualised women (tmi maybe) and i guess i *sort of* have similar bodies to them in terms of boobs and stuff. i don’t mean that in a vain way... i don’t even like my body. but just factually, i have big boobs. and big boobs turn me on. so does my own body turn me on?? as much as i question my sexuality obsessively, enough research and reassurance has taught me that being turned on by big boobs doesn’t necessarily make me bi or gay. big boobs are a sexual stimuli! so the fear of being turned on by my own body comes down to the fear of being a narcissist / egomaniac. like it’d be so self-absorbed to be turned on by my own body. but i keep trying to rationalise it and remind myself that if i have the body parts that are considered sexual, then i am a sort of sexual stimuli. for myself even? argh i’m not even sure how to explain it but yeah. i’ve never like looked in the mirror and gotten turned on or thought of myself like that. it’s just i could imagine it i guess. but maybe not.

The thoughts are oh so bad again. I even can get turned on by the thought of being sexual with a girl but I really don’t want it. ( I’m a girl ). At least I don’t think I do. I looked up questioning sexuality and it said THIS MAY TRIGGER YOU— it said that if you fear it, it may be because you want it because “sexual attraction can be scary”. I don’t want to be with a girl but I feel like lately that’s all I can think about. I can’t even get turned on or get off ( sorry TMI maybe ) to the opposite sex but I can so easily with the same sex even though I don’t really want to. This is so scary I’m not sure what to do.

To my fellow female SOOCD sufferers: I had some really good two weeks with some moments of clarity where I could see through all the bullsh*t my brain is producing. However I got pulled back in the cycle and here we go again 🙄 Atm I‘m not even that panicked about liking girls it is more about my attraction to men that I‘m obsessing about. I don‘t get aroused by just seeing a hot naked guy. I do fantasize more about being touched and everything by a guy and being wanted by him. Sorry if this is tmi but I‘m stressed that this means I don‘t like men enough and that Leads back to my fear of being in denial about being a lesbian. Because then I worry that I could be aroused just by the picture of a woman even if that has never happened before. And also men can get of just by lookin at pictures of hot woman, does that mean that if I am a straight girl I should be able to get turned on by just looking at good looking guys? This has been confusing the hell out of me and the whole concept of comphet hasn’t helped as well. Anyone who can relate?

a little concerned. i’m not gonna freak out and come on this app all anxious and nervous i’ve made that mistake one too many times. but, i was watching tik toks and there was this one that this girl said she would rather scissor with a girl and i genuinely got turned on and in my head i was like (TMI 18+ AT THIS POINT)… “yeah i want that omg” and it turned me on but at the same time made me very anxious. i just don’t believe that runs through straight girls’ minds if they see stuff like that. any advice? on like how to handle this? no one ever really talks about genuine arousal all that’s ever talked about it “groinals”. (which i do in fact believe are a very real thing)