How have you guys and girls been able to identify what your core fear is ?

With the happiness thing I understand cause I’m not sure how I feel and if the way I feel is the way I’m “supposed” to feel but you can only feel how you feel so I just get confused lol

And you were okay with being bi before ?

i was ok with being bi too but never wanted to do anything with girls. i kind of just did it to say i was bi

@holley i did the same! so i actually believe i was dealing with hocd at an early stage of life bc i never truly questioned myself but a girl in my grade was like “‘maybe you are” so i questioned myself a lot (without having real attraction) but i put a label so i can be done with it and i didn’t question it again until my last year of high school (where i am currently)

I’m really confused as well I really don’t know how to work it out

@Gosu123 there’s something called “shadow work” and it’s where you can search up questions and you pick one and write about it. from there, it can unlock a lot of emotions and how you really feel and can find your core fear there. yours probably started out of something completely random or from someone you care about !

@nikkii i say the last part bc that’s what ocd usually does ^

@nikkii I remember the first time I got these thoughta

But I don’t know if that’s just because of my state of mind atm

@Gosu123 I’m pretty sure all ocd has to do with some deeper fear? What’s your theme

@Justmesadly Soocd

@Gosu123 So your core fear could be a lot of different things related to that! Not marrying who you and society expected and set the bar for, not having children with your partner in the “natural way”, disappointment to yourself or your family, internal homophobia, so many different things. Core fears are hard to find and require a lot of vulnerability

@Justmesadly Hmmm idk honestly none of them sound like my specific situation I have a therapy session tomorrow hopefully that will be able to help

@Gosu123 Well your therapist won’t find your core fear, you have to find it yourself! But yes therapy should help if you allow yourself to be vulnerable and honest

@Gosu123 I guess when I first got hocd I was worried that my girlfriend would leave me but I don’t think that would count as a core fear?

i feel the same way!!!

@Gosu123 No I don’t think so either

@Justmesadly i don’t think it’s wise to try and figure out a core fear. fear doesn’t take away from the fact that ocd is present or not because i had that fear too that i would HAVE to leave my SO in order to experiment.

@holley Your therapist will often as you your fear. It isn’t hurting anything and is often very helpful to understand why you’re having your theme or how you can better do erp for your theme. Your erp exercises can be based around your fears. If your biggest fear is leaving your husband or having kids and a husband and finding out you’re actually lesibian then they might ask you to write a story about this or imagine it or watch a show Or movie about it. I’ve seen lots of people say this is their excerise !

@holley Of course it doesn’t take away your ocd... And thinking you have to experiment doesn’t sound like a core fear to me... but I’m not sure!

@Ope The top of my hierarchy for me!

@Ope The book that’s super popular by gwendoyln Doyle was so triggering to me!

@Justmesadly well it’s still a fear. it doesn’t matter what it is, if someone is obsessing 24/7 over something like this then something isn’t right. that’s not normal.

@holley Yes I am aware? I don’t believe I ever said that wasn’t a fear...

If you don’t mind me asking, what is your core fear ?

@Legallyocd My core fear is turning into a horrible person

ME too. I always felt like I was a bad person.