Relapsing so bad... I wish I could just disappear forever

Yeah I’m hoping I can get to that point!

I have pocd, hocd, and real event, I switch between them daily. But currently I’m going through everything I’ve ever said/done/ thought trying to use them as proof to any theme or just feel like shit and guilty about

@Justmesadly Same... I’m getting intrusive thoughts for my POCD and HOCD without any anxiety now... it feels too real... especially with my POCD 18+ post I’ve just made...

@POCDKILLME I wasn’t having anxiety with thoughts for about a month, it was glorious. Now All my anxiety came back! I can hardly breath

@Justmesadly What did you do last time to stop the thoughts? I’m still going through my POCD so I haven’t had the luxury of experiencing no anxiety yet, but these thoughts disturb me... I hope you can see my POCD 18+ post

@POCDKILLME Yeah you’re always going to go through it. It doesn’t go away. It’s just sometimes you can manage it.

@Justmesadly I’m gonna follow you on your account. That way whenever you post I can see it and help you with this OCD to the best I can. I just hope you can do the same, because right now, I kinda feel like crap mixed in with no anxiety about my POCD intrusive thoughts

@POCDKILLME It’s okay I rarely post as it’s not good to post and seek reassurance. I never allow myself more than once in a day. And try not to even do that

@Justmesadly Alright. Just wanted to make sure your okay. Also how old are you? Sorry for the sudden question but I usually talk to people with ocd that are my age and older. (I’m 19)

@POCDKILLME I’m not alright lol I’m almost 25

@Justmesadly Still I want to help you. You have ocd just like I do and I wanna do anything I can to help out people on here.

@Justmesadly Same, omg this so crazy! I spent three full days trying to remember if I did anything violent when I was six years old to prove I could now. It’s so hard not to think about it!

@Anonymous Yeah exactly! I worry about things I did 6-8 ish years old and then things I said almost 3 years ago that could have been taken wrong depending on how you interpret it.. etc

Thanks girl 🧡 you too

Ugh , it’s the worst! Do you see a therapist

@Justmesadly I do! I’m with NOCD, we are working on more exposures for this but I keep ruminating! I’m so frustrated with myself lol. Wbu?

@Madison Yeah exact same for me! I just had 2 really good weeks in a row of low ruminating. Now I’m back to probably 3 hours a day

@Madison I’m ready to scream

@Justmesadly Ikr!! I was doing so good and now I’m terrible again. I’m so frustrated 😭

@Madison I’ll pray for you, we got this! I don’t blame the frustration

@Justmesadly Sameee! I am internally screaming most of the day. It’s so uncomfortable rhe feelings and once I get lost in a loop or compulsion or rumination It feels like my life is over, but then if I don’t do the compulsion or rumination I get so much anxiety sitting with the feeling, and trying to let it pass. It’s just the craziest thing! Ugh 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@Madison Ah i meant to say and send positive vibes

@Justmesadly Thank you!

@Justmesadly Thank you 💖💖 praying for you too!!

@Anonymous Yeah exactly! It’s hell

You’re not required to have fun! Just do your best to be okay!

@Justmesadly Thank you 💖 how are you doing right now?

@Madison I’m struggling but I’ll live

@Justmesadly Try to treat yourself to something nice if you can 💖

@Madison I just ate 4 cinnamon rolls and had 2 beers lol

@Justmesadly LOL

@Madison I’m toxic I know

@Justmesadly I’m down for cinnamon rolls tbh 😭 I’d doing OK here at the water park. I made a habit on a habit tracker app of “no ruminating” and it’s helping a bit. Have you done anything fun today?

@Madison Oh that’s smart! I tried to go to the beach but it’s very cloudy so the UV is too low to be worth it

@Justmesadly Oooh right 🤔 I hope you’re able to find something a little fun to do today 😊

@Madison Thanks you too!

@Madison What’s a habit tracker?!!💕

@Anonymous It’s an app that lets you track your habits! You can press a button every time you do a habit. It’s a fun way to motivate yourself & keep track of the habits you want to do or stop doing! I use the app Easy. The free version only lets you have 3 habits but it works.