How to not feel alone when around people? I feel more alone when I’m around people then when I’m alone

TW: suicidal Constantly fixated on the fact of helping people. I’m always doing compulsions like checking social medias to see if people need help etc, it’s exhausting cause I’m so sad I’m unable to help everyone. I just don’t know what to do and if I’m being entirely honest it’s making me not wanna be here anymore. I’m afraid that if i walk away from my phone for even 5 minutes someone will be in need and in danger and I want be there to help therefore it’s my fault etc. how can i cope with this? Obviously I want to help people but I wanna do it in different ways

It's been a year since I've been able to stay home alone. I don't know how to fight this. I feel like the world will collapse on me. That the house will cave in. Or I'll just lose my mind and scream and run outside screaming and saying the world is falling type thing. I don't know how to help myself. I'm to scared to even try to be alone. I have to have my son 18 stay home with me or my aunt stay with me when my son does leave. It's horrible. I feel like I'm holding my son back from so much. I don't know how to beat this. Please help

does anyone else with this theme hate to be alone?? i deadass get panic attacks when i’m left alone and i sit and watch the time until whoever is coming back because im so scared. i get scared that when im alone im going to lose control and act on my thoughts. my mind goes “oh your alone now nobody would know” or “your alone so you won’t feel guilt”. i hate this so much and as much as i try to deal with it i feel it never gets better. it doesn’t help that i have agoraphobia now either. i need tips!