So I have been battling OCD my whole life. And about three years ago it came to an extreme problem. During that year I was diagnosed with severe OCD with many themes and with the help of a professional I worked through it. It was a decently long haul of years but I have now tears of happiness. Within that time I started to write a book of my experience with it. I haven’t wrote more In a while but I will again one day. Please let me know what you think of the first chapter. At the end it does talk about my deceased grandfather that I was close to. He had the same issue with OCD and I felt he helped me to figure this out. WARNING ! I don’t have great grammar skills. Lol ! Chapter 1 Imagine being reborn Imagine being reborn at 35 years old with super hero powers. Not the power to fly, read minds, X-ray vision, or even to walk on water. Imagine you had the power to understand your mind. Why you went through your whole life with crap fogging your brain, things that made you anxious and sometimes scares you to the bone. Things that sometimes woke you up in the middle of the night and had you staring at the mirror wondering why or yelling at the mirror for it to stop. Sounds like a bad nightmare you would see in a movie ? Damn right it was like that. It was stuff I could never get out of my mind. I had many ups and downs but when I had my downs, OMG it was bad. My story of my life is to show strength, show that with a lot of will power it will never be overcome but there are ways to deal with it and cope with it. There are so many ways to help yourself from the bully of your mind. I’m a fighter and for years I fought it and showed it emotion but not to realize I was dealing with this bully wrong all along. But just like school yard bullies if you show emotion it will keep on pushing you from behind trying to get a rise out of you. You need to show this bully that you don’t care, that you are aware it’s there. Eventually this tool this gift I have unwrapped and learned amongst many others has made the bully subside. Not go away but get board of me cause I don’t care. Now sure as shit it can come knocking on my door tomorrow but I’m ready for you to become board of me once again. Now the bully I’m talking about is what lurks around in your head. If I told most people that I was diagnosed after all the years with OCD no one would believe me. In fact most people don’t believe me especially the close ones, but that’s ok they won’t understand but until you have it most doesn’t truly know what OCD is. Most people look at OCD as being just neat and clean. And I did for years as well and for a while I always said I am. Not because of anything but myself always needing to touch things with both hands and etc. but that’s a small portion of this doubting disorder AKA OCD. There are so many areas of OCD. Let’s break it down. The “O” stand for obsessive, the “C” stand for compulsive, and the “D” stands for Disorder. Basically the disorder is a misfiring of the brain. Instead of letting things especially thoughts go, the trap door of your brain never closes. It draws more things even topics to be obsessed by, it starts to have a ping pong affect in the brain. The argument in your brain starts to spirals quickly south. Now instead of teaching your brain to close that trap door. You sink lower and lower into the bullies grips. You fight and fight, you beg and pray for it to stop, you yell at it in hopes for it to go away but it makes it worse and worse. Before you know it you are looking for certain compulsions to stop it. You think these compulsions work but they do only temporarily. The temporary relieves just fuels the fire to roar harder and louder. You can’t stop it you need to except the fact that this is the way your brain functions. And until you admit there is a problem to understand and until you except it, it won’t go away. This bully of OCD won’t stop . For example some that feels that they can’t go into a room without flickering the lights on and off seven times or their parents will die, they will have a very temporary relieve from that compulsion of the light switch. Now it will work great for them until they enter a new room. Now that’s the OCD everyone knows. How about the OCD of Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts. Things that pop up into your mind for no reason and they make no sense but they throw you for a loop. You have compulsions internally where no one can see them, in your mind. This took me 25 years to say to my parents and then another 10 years afterwards to truly start to realize what it is. And to realize what it is and learn tools to except is the gift from Poppy. You will learn later why it was him that helped me. Poppy helped me unwrap a 35 year old gift.