So I learned about what the dark web actually is today. I’d heard about it but never really knew what it was. Upon a few google searches I found out it’s a breeding ground for all things illegal. Everything from illegal porn, guns, hit men. But now I’m really scared the dark web is gonna find me just for looking into what it is. I’m scared I’m gonna end up dead even though I didn’t access it. I don’t want to access that place. The only thing that tried to open was some site from the dark web but wouldn’t open because apparently you have to have some super special browser or something.

I’m definitely not seeking it. I think it’s absolutely awful. I guess I’ve seen too many movies where all you have to do is google something related to organized crime like the Italian mafia and you end up dead. I know it’s my brain over thinking and over reacting as usual but the fear seems so real

@Rhys34 Yeah I can see that being totally irrational. It's insane to even think of something like that being true. I kind of have the same thing when it comes to porn and stuff. I'm just glad I'm not watching any of that stuff anymore. Like I'm glad I stopped rather than still doing it

@BigGip09 Yea I agree some of the porn stuff the article talked out being on the dark web was appalling.

@Rhys34 I honestly don't even want to hear about that stuff to be honest. That'd be way too triggering for me. Anything bad I've seen when it came to porn was either staged or fictional. God knows I wouldn't want to see anything the dark web has to offer. I can't even see why anyone would want to go there. For the sake of my mental health, I wouldn't even dare put myself in that position

@BigGip09 I would never put myself in that situation either. There’s no way in hell I’d ever go onto the dark web. I don’t watch porn anymore either. It leads to too much mind wandering and asking what if’s.

@Rhys34 You're exactly correct, man! All I do is constantly wonder about stuff now. What was ethical. What was fear. What was legal. What was safe and what wasn't. Even if it were all on good websites. I think the worst for me is the ones that weren't real ironically. Like it bothers me all the way back to when I was like 14/15? I just want it to stop because I'm far from that person and I no longer want that in my life.

@BigGip09 Exactly. It creates so much doubt in your mind for ocd to feed off. And in order to grow and progress into the person you want to be you have to let go of the past. Including habits and your past self. I know for me, I feel kinda stuck in between. Like I’m trying to grow and progress but ocd keeps pulling me back

@Rhys34 I'm exactly where you are man. Like 100%. OCD is what makes me hold onto the past but at the same time I'm far ahead from my old habits. I mean, I've been an entire month free from porn. I get no urges to watch it. I know I don't like it. I want nothing to do it. The only thing that keeps these unwanted thoughts and feelings is OCD. You know, OCD trying to make it seem like you want the thoughts. OCD constantly reviewing and ruminating over what happened freaking years ago. And OCD constantly trying to match your mistakes or your thoughts with who you really are. No one is their mistakes and people are what they do after the incidents. That's how I call my judgements on other. What they choose to do when things DO happen, not the things that happen to them. That's not a fair world if that were the case. But you're not alone, dude. Definitely not.