Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

I feel like no one knows the real me, I dont even know the real me anymore. OCD has been my identity for so long I always wonder who the f would I be without it. My thoughts and opinions change so rapidly I dont know if their my own anymore. My moods and emotions are so up and down I'm wondering what's the real way that I feel. Have I just been lying all my life.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 4y

Comment deleted by user

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

Thank you, sending you love and support also 💕

elizabethcro...

Date posted: 4y

I'm right there with you 😔

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

It's horrible isn't it, feel free to share your feelings on the post ❤

Dre83

Date posted: 4y

I totally understand how you feel. It’s gonna be alright though hang in there friend and keep living.

Marinaa

Date posted: 4y

I relate to this a lot! I feel like my thoughts aren't my own, like my mind is a separate existence that's dictating my life, but at the same time I feel like I'd be nothing without it. Like it's a part of who I am that can't be changed. It's hard to accept that you can get better, but you can do it!❤️

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

What you said is so relatable! Sometimes I feel like I'm a puppet and my mind and thoughts are my master, it makes me wonder how much control we really have over our thoughts. Thank you! 💕

Marinaa

Date posted: 4y

@Tanaya I guess we have very little control over our thoughts and our lives, but when you've been experiencing OCD for so long, you are scared to let it go. You know yourself that way, the people around you know you that way, as sad as it sounds, and don't know how your life will be if you don't have it. The road to recovery is long.

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

@Marinaa The road to recovery is a rocky one but it's one worth taking I suppose

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

Thank you! I'm still alive thankfully so I'm hopeful :)

Mikeb63

Date posted: 4y

@tanaya hang in there. We’re all here for you. Don’t worry nothing wrong with ocd. I don’t know you but I bet your great kind person and have a lot of friends. I’ve had these thoughts many of times also like would have I done things in life differently if I was “normal”. But think about it we are normal maybe people without ocd aren’t LOL :) hopefully that made u smile. Don’t worry stay strong and do the erp.

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

Thank you! You're too kind. I try to keep a level head but sometimes I get a little tired fighting OCD all the time, I dont stop no matter how tired i am because i know it's worth it

Mikeb63

Date posted: 4y

Yes it’s exhausting. I’ve had it my whole life I just turned 40. I got an amazing wife, dog, place to live and great family. I wouldn’t change anything. Maybe the ocd helps we don’t know lol. I look at it like a reset. You get bad episode you have to learn everything from scratch again. Remeber life is amazing no matter what and stay positive. I just went through a 2 week full episode nonstop while on a vacation and look I’m still here and after 4 weeks of erp I’m happy again. Believe in yourself is the best advice and believe that ocd is just triggers things you love and care about that you would never do.

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

Wow, thank you. You give me hope! I

hopeful for ...

Date posted: 4y

I’ve been feeling the same way (shifting moods, emotions, thoughts) for a year. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and thank you for being brave and sharing your experience. OCD makes me feel so alone. It’s helpful to hear people who understand.

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

It's crazy, it makes you feel like an imposter in your own mind/body sometimes but I'm trying to find some clarity in all of it. Having this app helps tho, because whilst I hate others are suffering it makes me feel less alone

moon0270

Date posted: 23w

OCD

Makes me feel lost. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

I feel so different from others

I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.

Sexual Orientation OCD

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 15w

I feel like I am OCD

It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.

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