What if I’m not as anxious about my theme but I still feel concerned and very uncertain and doubtful? It feels very real still? Even though I’m in the stay better phase of therapy on here. I’m not sure if it’s just my depression or hormones making it worse, or the fact that I can’t get myself to do the higher exposures. Please help.

Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.

Hi! I was given exposure HW that I chose to do by my therapist but lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by it and thinking that maybe I need to start with an easier exposure. However I can only see my therapist every other week due to her schedule and I’m really having a hard time feeling like I’m not following the “rules” of therapy. I feel like she’s not going to help me if I don’t do the exposures and that I’m gonna be all alone again and have no where to turn. So, part of me was gonna just force myself to do the exposure to avoid feeling bad. I don’t want to let OCD run the show also by not doing the exposure…but also feeling like doing the exposure is not quite right either. Please if anyone can relate I could really use some help.

it feels like therapy isn't working at all, like I've been super reluctant to participate or try and get better. I was doing really well at first but I've been in a slump with it lately, and the idea of doing exposures again makes me really scared. Like, I know if have to do them to get better but I'm so afraid that I'll pick something, watch it, and think the child character is attractive and start fantasizing about them. Like what if the only thing keeping me from doing that is because I've been avoiding them? Also is it normal for pocd to convince you that you prefer one gender more strongly than the other? Bc for some reason it feels more real with boys than it does girls (I'm mostly straight) and like.. idk I'm just not feeling good.