I hate the fact that I feel like I need to look good and need attention :/ my theme is fear of being a narcissist so it’s hard to differentiate what is real and what’s exaggerated from ocd. I know I have a lot of empathy and I’m pretty sure they usually don’t, I also don’t like being manipulative. But it stresses me out so much how anywhere I go my mind goes “maybe they think I’m attractive” and tries to impress people. I even used to go on dating apps and stuff when I felt bad just to get compliments or wherever and then log off. I hate it so much ): It’s also so hard to differentiate becoming confident or having a superiority complex, I’ve always been so anxious and insecure that it feels weird to feel good about myself. I just wanna stop thinking abt it and know it’s not real. My therapists before told me that I’m not one but now that I found new information about narcissism I’m worried that they just don’t know enough about it Anyway there’s my vent thx (-:

I also used to go out of my way to get attention and to look good too. I still like to dress up because it’s fun but sometimes I do notice I get similar OCD thoughts.. Don’t think about it, just dress up and look pretty whenever you want! Confidence is good, but just don’t go out of your way to grab that attention. Just look good and own it!! :) and know you’re not alone.. trust me. I’m recovering from being a toxic attention seeker, and no suffer the consequences of how I used to be

@PinkOCD I don’t really do much attention seeking stuff anymore, it just bothers me that the urge is there and what it could mean. Im glad I’m not alone and appreciate ur advice!!

@Hannah!!! Girl I totally relate trust me, I think it just is a deep root within us wanting more reassurance/validation. We just gotta remember when we look good it’s for us!!. We just gotta own that shiiiiii haha 😂💪🏼😇

Thankfully, these topics are more heavily researched now than when I was younger— Barbie, beauty work, patriarchy, industrial complexes, manipulative marketing, all the ways that society conditions females to feel perpetually insecure. People may label you as shallow when all you want is love, companionship, affection, and kindness. You are the recipient of cruel conditioning if you feel you have to compete for basic needs; you are not a narcissist. As someone who has been “hot” and “dog ugly” and popular and a loser in my time, I assure you that the ONLY thing that matters is how you treat people, including yourself. Ask yourself who profits from you feeling in need of attention, and you can deconstruct the cycle of female oppression around you to expose your authentic self. Also consider what you do for work. As a bartender in my 20s, I could not go to the gas station without full makeup for fear of seeing a customer who would realize I was “ugly” and stop patronizing my establishment. At 35, I now only dress up for date night 💃 Being a young female entails SO much suffering. I promise if you focus on skills and hobbies, you will save yourself SO much disappointment. We are here for you 🥰